Touch of Chaos
by x Varda x
Summary: Complete! When a mysterious doorway is found on Atlantis, Dr Rodney McKay becomes trapped alone and out of his own reality. He soon discovers that every place where he ends up has one disturbing thing in common and he gets hurt.
1. The Doorway to Nowhere

**Disclaimer**: "Stargate" and all related characters are the property of MGM Television Entertainment. I'm just going to borrow them for a little while…

**Summary**: When a mysterious doorway is found on Atlantis, Dr Rodney McKay becomes trapped alone and out of his own reality. He soon discovers that every place where he ends up has one disturbing thing in common and he gets hurt.

**Rating**: T

**Setting**: After Season 5's Identity. Spoilers for _all_ seasons.

* * *

_**Chapter 1 – The Doorway to Nowhere**_

"I don't know why we have to come with you," Ronon grumbled as he stalked along the corridor behind Rodney, John and Teyla.

John smirked and turned to him, "McKay's scared of the dark."

"No, I am not!" Rodney snapped. The effect was ruined as he shuddered, "This place just gives me the creeps."

Teyla glanced around the corridor and frowned in confusion, "I do not see anything creeping, Rodney."

"Only my skin," he replied with another tremble.

They continued walking for a few more seconds. Rodney held the scanner out in front of himself as he stayed behind Sheppard. The corridor was dimly lit and cool air came from the ventilation shafts all around them.

John sighed and stopped suddenly. He turned to Rodney and asked the scientist, "McKay, why _are_ we doing this? It's Atlantis. We've been here for nearly five years now. I don't think anything's going to jump out at us after all this time."

Rodney huffed an angry breath and folded his arms over his chest, "You know that now you've said that, we're probably going to get attacked by giant rats or killer robots which have been hiding from us for all that time."

Ronon chuckled and fingered his blaster absently, "At least it'd give me something to shoot."

Teyla glanced up and down the passageway and asked evenly, "So, where are we going, Dr McKay?"

He glared at John for a moment longer and then his expression softened as he turned to Teyla. He smiled and said, "A lab which I have been meaning to check out for the past few months since I found reference to it in the Ancient Database."

John turned around and carried on walking up the corridor. Rodney sighed and followed. He continued his explanation while they walked, "The database mentions a powerful device, which was so dangerous that the Ancients sealed the lab and the surrounding area."

He gave the back of John's head a pointed look and lifted his chin righteously, "_That's_ why I asked you to come with me. Who knows what security and defences are in place around such an object."

Teyla lifted the P90 clipped to her tac vest a little higher. She moved up to walk shoulder to shoulder with Rodney to protect him now that he had revealed the potential danger.

Ronon asked from behind him, "So, what is it and what does it do?"

Rodney shook his head and rolled his eyes, "As usual, there was hardly anything in the records. The only other things in the database were a cryptic warning and the Ancients also recorded that they could not destroy the device no matter what they tried. They decided to keep it here to protect it and to keep other people from finding it."

John said calmly, "I'm not sure I'm liking this mission very much anymore, McKay."

Rodney shrugged and drew in a deep breath, "Well as you said a moment ago, we've been here for five years and the device has been here for another ten thousand. If it really was _that_ dangerous, we would know about it by now."

They rounded a corner and John flicked on the light of his P90 as the lighting dimmed even further until they could hardly see. They were deep down in the city, far below the water line where no daylight from the windows or balconies could pierce the darkness.

"Isn't there any power on?" Ronon asked as he unholstered his blaster like there were Wraith all around them.

Rodney pulled a torch out of his tac vest and shone it down the corridor. He was still using the hand scanner and answered distractedly, "No, emergency power only. The lab where we are heading is completely powered down to reduce the risk from whatever is inside. It should also have deactivated the defences."

They walked on and on down the seemingly never ending corridor. Rodney muttered, "Shame the nearest transporter was also deactivated. My feet are cold."

Ronon patted him on the back and narrowed his eyes as he grinned, "The walk will do you good, McKay."

Rodney frowned as he kept his eyes fixed on the tiny screen clutched tightly in his hand as his torch played along the floor in front of him.

He suddenly held up his hand and turned towards a door they had just walked past. He kept looking at the scanner and announced excitedly, "This is it!"

He dashed over to the door before the others could stop him. He quickly pulled off the darkened panel over the opening mechanism. John rapidly came over and pushed his hand against Rodney's chest and forced him away from the panel.

McKay hissed, "Hey!" indignantly as his back contacted with a sturdy wall of Satedan who stood behind him.

John turned to him with an intense expression, "I'll go first. Tell me how to open it."

Rodney curled his upper lip into an angry snarl because the Colonel was going to see the room and its mysterious contents first. He then pointed at the control panel and mumbled instructions. He handed over a small portable power cell he had tucked into one of his pockets and John soon had the system rigged up. The door opened just enough for someone to curl their fingers around the edge and pry it fully open.

Ronon went over and helped John to do just that. Between their grunts, they soon had the door fully open and revealed the pitch darkness beyond the corridor. The black gloom welcomed them inside with a whisper and Rodney shuddered and stood back with his eyes wide in fear. Almost as though his unblinking gaze could see through the darkness to find out what the lab had been hiding from him for all these years.

John turned around and smirked, "The Ancient defences are obviously a bit clapped out."

Rodney grimaced, "We're not inside the lab yet, Sheppard. I expect the lack of power in this section has probably disabled them. Well that or hmm, say, ten thousand years underwater."

Teyla frowned and said, "Or perhaps they were only mentioned as a deterrent and there are actually no defences at all."

Ronon stared into the gloom unflinchingly and said, "Deception?"

John smiled, "I don't care if their best scientists were just having a joke to keep everyone away from their star project, I want to know what it is now."

Rodney sighed angrily as Ronon grinned back at him knowingly as he realised John made his comment at McKay's expense.

John lifted up his P90 with the flashlight still on. Rodney raised his torch and held his scanner more tightly as he followed them into the mysterious room.

* * *

After only a few seconds, John was glancing around the lab incredulously as he tracked his P90 over the walls and floor. He turned to Rodney with a look of disappointment, "Is this the right place?"

Rodney was well inside the room and studying a hoop of metal imbedded in the floor in the centre of the room. It looked like a doorway of some description. It was slightly taller than he was and he could have walked underneath it. He decided not to and instead he moved his torch over the Ancient text all around the object.

He turned to John and replied, "Yes, I believe it is."

Teyla went over to him and stood nearby as she too looked at the text, "What does it say?"

Rodney sighed in frustration, "Just another warning. The usual nonsense, just like in the database."

Ronon asked from the other side of the room, "So, what does it do?"

Rodney walked over to the single control panel at the edge of the room and plugged in his tablet. The others stood around the edge of the lab and watched the scientist while he worked.

He pulled out another power cell and was about to plug it in, when John called out to him, "Hey, is it safe to give this room any power at all?"

Rodney grimaced and answered in a clipped and annoyed tone, "Yes, yes! You already powered up the door slightly to open it. Just move away from the device and don't walk through or under it."

Ronon mumbled, "Like we'd want to do that."

Rodney sighed and turned back to the control panel. He had to lean over slightly at the waist to reach the buttons. He was now the closest one to the device as the others backed away, but none of them had realised this yet and they had no idea about the danger he was in.

He smiled as he plugged his tablet into the console and the portable power cell gave it enough energy for him to start downloading the data. He tapped on the screen and narrowed his eyes. "Hmm, that's interesting," he muttered as his eyes darted along the lines of text.

"Oh, no!"

Teyla asked in alarm, "What is it?"

Rodney only had a brief moment to look up at her and grab onto his tablet and hug it against his chest tightly. Teyla shone her flashlight into his face. She baulked at the fear she saw in his terrified eyes and the way his lips were set in grim resignation of what he knew was about to happen.

The lights in the room shone brightly and there was a loud hum of energy as the room drew power from an unknown source and all the systems activated. The occupants of the lab had to close their eyes in the sudden blinding brightness and there was a loud cry.

The panicked sound ended abruptly and the lights turned out. The scene was plunged into darkness once more as the power left the room.

Teyla glanced over to where Rodney had been, but he was gone. All that was left to mark where he had once stood was a flashlight rolling along the floor. Some severed leads were swaying from the control panel where his computer had been wrenched out of the console.

She asked the others, "Where is Rodney?"

John's brow was furrowed and he frowned at the spot where his team mate and friend had been only a moment ago.

Ronon was able to answer, "He got pulled backwards and through the arch. But he didn't come out the other side."

John circled around the metal hoop and then stopped. He said, "We need to get Zelenka down here. But it's too dangerous to give this thing any power in case it happens again. McKay took all his data with him, wherever he's gone."

Sheppard looked at the lettering on the archway with a slightly lost expression and he sighed sadly.

Teyla gave him a reassuring look, "We'll get him back, John. We just need some help."

Ronon narrowed his eyes at the archway in an intense expression. He mumbled, "I wonder _where_ he's gone?"

* * *

TBC


	2. High Alert

_Phantoms…_

**_Chapter 2 –High Alert_**

Rodney saw the warning lights on his screen and the schematics of what the device did, just before he felt the inexorable pull as the doorway dragged him through.

He looked at Teyla as his heart pounded in fright, but one glance could not convey what he needed to say. He could not tell them what was going to happen or even warn them not to try and follow him. All that he could do was meet her eyes one last time before he was blinded by the lights and savagely yanked backwards. His arms wrenched and he nearly lost his tablet where he held onto as tightly as possible.

Rodney closed his eyes as air rushed past him. He felt a freezing wave pass through his body as he went under the archway. He did not have time to shiver though, as a moment later he landed heavily and all his breath left him. He rolled along the floor for a few seconds and lay face down and screwed his eyes up in pain.

His breathing restarted and he groaned as he sucked in precious air and his senses fully returned. He rolled over onto his back and kept his eyes closed as he wiggled his fingers and toes. He then carefully prodded his chest and held onto his head. He did not find anything other than bruises. He wondered why none of his team mates had come over to him yet, or expressed any concern over his well being after being so brutally thrown across the room.

"Lucky I didn't break anything or land on my head," he muttered miserably.

He caught his breath for a few more seconds and then risked opening his eyes. The room was dimly lit and he tilted his head back and grimaced when he saw the malevolent archway over the floor behind him. His tablet had landed a few metres away and he could see frayed leads connected to one side.

He sighed and pushed himself upright with a wince. He retrieved his computer and sat down on the floor. He then tapped his radio and said indignantly, "McKay to Sheppard."

There was no reply. "Honestly, John, leaving me here on my own after that tumble won't sit very well on your permanent record. You're supposed to protect me."

He frowned in confusion and set about tapping on the screen of the tablet while he waited for an answer.

He heard a voice behind him, which made him jump and stand up so quickly he nearly passed out.

"Well, it _sounds_ like McKay."

"We can't take any risks, sir."

Rodney could not see their faces clearly in the dull lighting, but he hazarded a guess, "Sheppard? Lorne?"

Lorne's voice said, "I say we shoot it and if they're still messing around with organic copies, we stun it and take it to Keller for further testing."

"_It_…?" Rodney asked in alarm. "John, it's me, I'm McKay."

A man stepped into the room and Rodney caught a brief flash of his face as torchlight shone over his features. For a moment there was an expression of disbelief as their eyes met, but that quickly vanished and hardened into a steely glare which made Rodney flinch. He held up his hands as he kept hold of the tablet in his right one.

John was aiming the glowing blue gun in his hand at Rodney and he turned his face away from the barrel pointed at him. John suddenly fired three shots in quick succession into Rodney's chest and McKay yelped in shock and stepped backwards.

He looked up at the man he thought was his friend and furrowed his brow as he rubbed a hand over his chest, checking for damage. He shouted, "What the hell did you do that for! I'm not a Replicator! Nearly gave me a heart attack!"

John did not reply and Rodney saw the ice in his neutral expression as he narrowed his eyes. Rodney thought he saw something else behind those unreadable eyes, almost like betrayal? Hatred? Maybe even a little guilt. They were as quickly quashed and buried just as the disbelief had been a moment ago. John's expression hardened as he let the anti-Replicator gun rest back against his chest.

He drew a stunner, rapidly levelled it at Rodney and pulled the trigger. This time the weapon had an immediate effect and Rodney tensed up as the energy blast spread through him. He dropped the tablet with a clatter and collapsed down onto the floor.

John narrowed his eyes, "Take it to Keller. Oh, and remember not to touch it this time, Major."

Lorne nodded and gave the Colonel a nervous smile, "I'll do my best, sir."

The Major pointed down at Rodney's prone form and two environmental suited figures walked over and restrained him as they strapped him down onto a gurney. They wheeled him away with Major Lorne and a squad of marines following closely behind with their guns ready.

* * *

Rodney winced as Jennifer jabbed a needle into his arm and drew some blood. He furrowed his brow at her and she looked at him blankly through the glass visor of her environmental suit. He could not move as the straps around his wrists and ankles kept him securely in place.

He asked her nervously, "Uh, why am I tied up like this?"

She kept her eyes averted and replied, "It's just a precaution."

"I think it's kind of kinky," Rodney said with a seductive smirk.

Jennifer frowned down at him and said impassively, "I'm sorry, I don't actually know you."

Rodney felt a chill pass through him and he shivered. How could she _not_ know him? Why were her eyes so blank and not dancing with the happiness and recognition he had seen from her recently?

She started to walk away, so he quickly asked, "Jennifer? What are you doing? What's going on here and why am I being treated like this?"

She stopped and turned slightly, but not enough for him to see her face. He felt frustration building in his heart and mind and he called out to her again as she opened the door, "I want to speak to John. You know, Colonel Sheppard? Messy hair, a penchant for stating the obvious."

Jennifer stopped again and he thought he heard a tiny sigh just before she stepped through the door which was flanked by two marines. Like the ones who had attacked and captured Rodney, they had all three different guns, ARGs, stunners and sidearms.

Rodney thought they looked ridiculous and he told them, "You know, you look like how I would imagine a video game character would. Press the blue button to swap weapons?"

They did not even look at him as he spoke and he glanced down at his hands nervously as he tapped on the bedsheets underneath. He would have folded them over his chest, but the bands around his wrists were so tight he could barely move them at all.

He had only been waiting in silence for a few minutes, when the door opened again. John walked in. He was not wearing an environmental suit and he indicated for the marines to leave. They obliged and John was left in the room alone with Rodney.

Rodney narrowed his eyes at John and did not say anything. As John stepped forwards and the light above him shone across his face, Rodney drew in a sharp breath. There was a long pale red scar down the right side of his cheek. It led up into his hair and Rodney could see the gap where his hair had not been able to regrow over the injury. John's expression was stern as he seemed to be fighting a battle with weariness. His skin was pale and it looked like he had not shaved for several days.

Rodney widened his eyes warily and asked in a shaky voice, "What happened to you? How long have I been gone?"

That was the only conclusion his mind could reach at the moment. He must have been pulled through a time portal and pushed into the future.

John paused and his worn down expression was torn brutally between hatred and guilt as he stared at Rodney with intense eyes. He measured each word carefully as he said, "You're dead, Rodney. You've been dead for nearly two years."

Rodney raised his eyebrows in disbelief as his chest constricted painfully in shock, "I don't feel very dead, Colonel! I can't have been gone for more than a fraction of a second. What date is it?"

John told him.

Rodney said in an increasingly shaky voice, "But that's today's date."

John walked over and undid the restraints around Rodney's wrists and ankles. McKay rubbed his red arms indignantly and sighed.

John held him by the shoulders in a tight grip and Rodney winced. The Colonel looked him in the eyes and said, "I know you're dead, because _I_ killed you."

Rodney's lips parted and his mouth opened, he could feel John's fingers digging into his arms as they bruised his delicate skin. He stuttered, "H-h-how?"

"The planet with the Wraith device that made us all hallucinate."

Rodney cast his mind back to that terrible day, "I remember. You shot me, you didn't seem that sorry about it either _and_ it hurt like hell."

"Yes, I shot you in the chest, but you died."

Rodney shrugged off John's grip and stood up. He placed one hand over his side where the healed bullet hole had left a scar over his smooth skin. He stood back from the Colonel and his eyes widened, "But Teyla pushed the gun out of the way and… and it was still pretty bad, but it obviously didn't kill me, because here I am!"

John shook his head, "But Teyla didn't push it away, McKay. The bullet went right through your heart. There was nothing Carson could do, you bled out and died before he even got to you."

Now Rodney understood the guilt, but the hatred? Where did that come from and why was it directed at him?

John was frowning at him angrily again and Rodney stepped backwards to put as much distance as possible between him and the other man. He mumbled, "An alternate reality. That's really the only explanation. The device threw me out of my own dimension. Well, at least it's something I'm vaguely familiar with, but how am I going to get back?"

The citywide comm suddenly activated, "Colonel Sheppard to section 4b, intruder alert."

Alt-John released a furious sigh, "Again?!" He then tapped his radio, "On my way."

He then turned to Rodney, "Follow me and stay close."

* * *

As they walked along the corridor towards the nearest transporter, Rodney asked, "So what's been going on, uh, since I departed this life?"

Alt-John gritted his teeth in fury as his anger finally got the better of him. He suddenly rushed at McKay and grabbed his shoulders. He forced Rodney back into the nearest wall and pressed his elbow into McKay's chest painfully so that he could only yelp in fright before his breathing became very difficult.

Alt-John spat, "Replicators."

Rodney furrowed his brow and wheezed in a shallow breath, "What? We destroyed them!"

Alt-John increased the pressure on Rodney's chest and he felt his ribs creaking in protest. Alt-John spoke hotly in deeper vehemence than Rodney thought would ever be possible from his friend, at least in his own reality. "You tampered with their code. They're everywhere. Even on Atlantis. They spread throughout the Pegasus Galaxy like a plague. The Wraith may be gone, but the Replicators are completely mad and bent on the destruction of the Ancients' legacy these days."

He paused for a moment and moved away slightly so that he could slam Rodney against the wall again in rage, "Which means _us_. And it's all your fault!"

Rodney lost his breath and desperately pressed his hands on Alt-John's chest as he struggled to remain conscious. He was completely pinned to the wall and Alt-John frowned at him. He was too weak for his fingers to have any impact and Alt-John did not move. He closed his eyes and gasped, "I-I-I'm sorry!"

Alt-John suddenly let him go and Rodney stumbled forwards and wrapped his arms around his ribcage as he panted and wheezed. He cried, "I'm sorry!" a little more easily now that he could breathe.

Alt-John shook his head, "It doesn't matter now. Earth can't risk sending any more ships to protect us or even retrieve us. The ZPM's drained and they're coming."

Rodney straightened up and looked at Alt-John in horror. "I'm _so_ sorry, we found a way to destroy their homeworld in my reality. I suppose it's too late for that now?"

Alt-John nodded grimly and suddenly did something completely unexpected. He wrapped his arms around Rodney and drew him into a tight hug. McKay tried to pull away and mumbled nervously, "Uh, Colonel? What're you doing? As good as male bonding is, there are easier and less embarrassing ways. You know a few beers and a movie?"

Alt-John slapped Rodney's back a few times, nearly winding him again and moved away. His eyes shone slightly before he blinked and then the icy expression from earlier returned and scared Rodney as much as it had ever done.

He said sincerely, "And I'm sorry I shot you. In this reality and your own. It's good to see you again, even if it is only for a short while before we face up to the Replicators."

Rodney furrowed his brow. It _was_ his fault and he knew it. Although he had not directly caused the reality he was in to unravel to its destruction. He had been dead and unable to repair the damage by not being there to fix his mistake.

Alt-John's defeated and utterly hopeless speech and expression got to him though. How long had they been on edge like this, at war with no hope of defeating the Replicators who were remorseless and unrelenting?

He saw the torn look pass across the Colonel's scarred face once more. He understood it now though. Alt-John blamed himself for Alt-Rodney's death, but equally hated him for bringing the Replicators down on the Pegasus Galaxy with his careless reprogramming and the subsequent war.

Rodney suddenly had an idea, "Come _with_ me."

Alt-John turned and began walking up the corridor again, "Where?"

"Through the doorway or portal or whatever that thing was. I _am_ sorry for what I did and it's nice to see you too, even though it's only been a few minutes for me. But I don't belong here and I need to get back to my own reality somehow."

The citywide suddenly blared again, "Emergency evacuation! Replicator ships incoming. Twenty on the scanner this time. Shields are depleted. ETA two minutes."

Alt-John's jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth.

Rodney's eyes widened and he spoke in desperately rapid speech, "You have to let me go! Come with me to another reality! Everyone who's left can follow, I'm not sure how it works yet, but I know I can figure it out."

"In two minutes? Well now you're just making it all up like you always used to." Alt-John drawled sarcastically.

Rodney saw a brief glimmer of the John he knew in Alt-John's eyes. For a moment he stood next to the man he had come to call his best friend and he did not feel out of place in the reality where he had found himself.

His relief and hope were short lived though, as Alt-John shook his head and steeled himself, "We can't come with you. We belong here. And you're right, you need to leave or you'll be killed… again."

"Defend it to the last?" Rodney said with a sigh.

Alt-John patted his back and replied, "Something like that."

They headed over to the transporter and Alt-John shoved Rodney inside. McKay looked back at him indignantly and Alt-John said, "Off you go then. I need to get to the Control Room. We've got an evacuation plan in place so everyone's going to get off the base and rendezvous at the alpha site. I expect the self destruct is ticking down by now too." He looked away and mumbled, "Not that it really matters if we leave the city behind intact. They'll find us eventually."

Rodney held out his hand and waved it until he caught Alt-John's eye. The Colonel grasped the proffered hand and squeezed Rodney's fingers so tightly that he had to bite back a cry.

Rodney said breathlessly, "Good luck."

Alt-John nodded grimly, "You too and… thank you."

"For what?"

"I finally got to say I'm sorry." He looked down at their linked hands as he said quietly, "I've really needed to for such a long time now." He broke the bruising grip and his eyes met Rodney's, "Now, get going, McKay!"

Rodney nodded and tapped the panel in the transporter for the destination closest to the lab.

* * *

The city trembled as Rodney stepped out of the transporter. He swayed a little and had to use his hands against the nearest wall to stop himself from falling over. He started to run along the corridor and stumbled a few times as more impacts from what he thought must have been weapons fire striking the towers of Atlantis and turning them into dust high above him.

He was gasping for breath by the time he reached the lab and noticed that his tablet was still on the floor. He crouched down and picked it up. He was curious as to why it had been left there, but reasoned that a computer would be a very low priority when it came to fighting and surviving against a fleet of Replicator ships drawing ever nearer to the destruction of Atlantis.

He dashed over to the console and staggered as the floor tilted sideways savagely. His hip struck the edge of the panel and he gritted his teeth as he hammered the controls as quickly as he could.

Nothing happened. There was no power.

He rummaged through his pockets, but came up empty. All his portable power cells had been left behind in his own reality and they had taken his tac vest away. He had no idea how the device worked and there was no time left for him to figure it out.

He tapped his radio, "McKay to Sheppard? I can't leave, there's no power!"

As he spoke, the console came to life and he was yanked backwards just as he saw a blinding light in front of him. He felt an intense heat burning his skin just before he was doused in ice from the doorway once more.

He whispered, _"John…" _as he wondered who had diverted power to the room even as the self-destruct activated. He hoped he was wrong as the darkness encircled and closed around him and he felt himself falling into shadow.

* * *

TBC


	3. Don't Look Back

_Allies..._

**_Chapter 3 – Don't Look Back_**

Rodney rolled over and groaned. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious, but his parched throat and the hungry ache deep in his belly informed him that it had probably been a long time. His skin felt stretched and sore from the heat that had blasted him as he fell through the portal once again.

He opened his eyes and his hand twitched up involuntarily to tap his radio and call for help. He quickly lowered his arm back down and rested it over his chest as he remembered what had happened the last time he had used it in the other reality.

He steeled himself and pushed off the ground slowly with a grimace as he stood upright. He felt dizzy when he finally reached the vertical plane and rubbed his eyes to try and clear the tiredness. He blinked a few times and sighed.

Once again he grabbed his tablet from the floor and decided that he urgently needed to find some food and water or he would collapse and it was unlikely that anyone would ever find him. He closed his eyes tightly as he stood up straight again and staggered towards the door leading out of the lab.

There was a faint glow of dim light shining down from the ceiling so that he could see where he was going as he forced himself onwards. He stepped into the first transporter he came across and raised his shaking hand towards the panel showing a map of Atlantis. He pressed the image for the location nearest the mess hall and then everything went black.

* * *

Rodney opened his eyes and glanced blearily around the room he was in. He felt the softness of the object he was lying on and the warm sheets covering him as he lay there. His eyelids felt heavy and he closed them again as the darkness threatened to drag him back under. He frowned as he forced himself to stay conscious.

He looked down at himself. There was an IV line threaded into his arm which started to sting as soon as he realised it was there. He could not feel any bandages though. The only bare skin he could see was red and angry and there were a few small blisters on the backs of his hands. He winced as pain flared over his skin.

He allowed his eyes to close as he let the familiarity and safety of the infirmary wash over him. He felt relief that he was finally home after his short sojourn in the other reality.

A thickly accented voice called out to Rodney, "Oh, no you don't, laddie!"

Rodney frowned in confusion as he fought to stay awake. He heard the voice again, there was a strange familiarity about it, "He's awake. You'd better get down here."

He croaked, "Carson… where's Jennifer?"

Dr Beckett came over to him and passed him a glass of water.

When Rodney had finished sipping the water, Carson held Rodney's upper arms and gently shook him to wake him up, "Who's Jennifer?"

Rodney's eyes snapped open widely and he looked up at his friend standing so close to him with a look of disbelief and sadness. Rodney mumbled, "Oh, not here too!"

Carson frowned at him and shook his head, "The mess hall sent some food down for you. We should wait for the others before we talk."

He released his grip on McKay and went over and brought the tray over. Rodney grabbed the blue jello first and dug in while Carson watched him in awe.

Rodney ate a few mouthfuls before he glared at Carson angrily, "Why are you staring at me like that? Uh…oh…" Rodney coughed and grimaced. He suddenly sat forwards on the bed and held onto his midsection as he started to tremble uncontrollably. "Carson… I think…" The jello pot and spoon fell out of his hand and clattered onto the floor.

Rodney winced and wretched as he vomited the meagre contents of his empty stomach into the bowl which suddenly appeared in exactly the right place in front of him. He continued to cough as acidic bile burned the back of his throat painfully. He took the glass of water passed to him and swallowed some to soothe his sore throat.

"Uh, thanks," was all he could gasp.

Carson came back a moment later and frowned in concern at Rodney as he remained hunched over on the bed with his burnt face pinched together in discomfort.

Carson said, "You were dangerously dehydrated when we found you in the transporter outside the mess hall. Not to mention the burns and bruises all over you."

Carson shook his head and passed another pot of jello to Rodney, "Try to eat it more slowly this time."

Rodney nodded and absently spooned a much smaller portion of the food into his mouth. Carson continued to stare at him with a puzzled expression and it looked like he was torn between silence and blurting out a thousand questions.

Rodney swallowed and then he dropped the jello again and wrapped both hands around his throat. For he had felt the fatal tang of lemon as it passed over his taste buds. He started hyperventilating in panic and wheezed, "Are you trying to kill me! You know I'm allergic!"

Carson quickly came over and grabbed Rodney's forearms as his hands tightened around his neck. He pulled them away and said indignantly, "No, you're not. At least, you _weren't_."

Rodney coughed and closed his eyes as the phantom sensation of his throat sealing and blocking the passage of air into his lungs dissipated. He frowned in confusion and opened his eyes to look at Carson as he continued to grip Rodney's forearms and hold them away.

"I'm not allergic to citrus? How is that even possible?"

Carson let go of Rodney and raised his eyebrows, "You were never allergic to anything before and the lack of any anaphylactic reaction just then proves it."

Rodney glanced down guiltily at the upturned jello pot on the floor by his bed, "Um, sorry. I have to be more careful."

A thought suddenly came to Rodney; maybe he had lost his allergy due to the differences in the reality where he now was. Perhaps just as the events had been different in this place, the food was also slightly different and no longer deadly to him.

He turned his head at the sound of approaching footsteps and quickly said, "I'm still not going to eat it. Please don't do that again."

Carson nodded and spun around as the last person Rodney had ever expected walked into the room. He whispered in shock, "Elizabeth?"

She looked back at him with his expression mirrored across her own face. John and Teyla followed her into the room. The three of them came over and crowded around the end of Rodney's bed with Carson. They looked down at him in shock like they were seeing a ghost. John's smile quickly vanished and his face became impassive.

John frowned at Rodney and asked, "Where have you been all these years, McKay?"

"Uh, years? Right here." It suddenly dawned on him, "From those looks you're all giving me; let me guess, I'm dead?"

John remained stoic as he said, "No, but you _are_ missing."

"No, I'm _dead_. Based on the very fact that I'm here and in the other reality I was also dead, then I must be!"

Elizabeth shook her head and spoke, "You were taken by the Wraith hive after our fateful alliance with them."

Teyla said, "Ronon was taken too. We never found your bodies."

Carson looked down at the floor, "Aye, we searched the hive for days, but found nothing. We thought they'd jettisoned you while they were in hyperspace, until now."

Rodney grimaced as he discovered the fate of himself in this reality, "Like a piece of trash?" He then turned to Carson, "So you're not a clone?"

The Scot frowned at him, but replied calmly anyway, "No, I'm the flesh and blood original, just like you."

"Oh," Rodney mumbled. He needed to find out how Alt-Carson had survived the explosion which had killed his friend in his own reality. The memory of it still hurt him. Now he had found out that his death in this reality had meant that the man had been unscathed somehow. He needed to know how, even though he knew he was probably not going to like the answer.

He looked at Alt-Elizabeth, "And you're not a Replicator or part Replicator?"

Alt-Teyla narrowed her eyes, "What is a Replicator, Dr McKay?"

Alt-John whistled, "Seriously, Rodney, where the hell _have_ you been?"

"Obviously not in this reality."

How could this reality be better off without him there? Rodney could not endure looking into the eyes of his alternative reality friends for very long and he furrowed his brow as he looked down at his hands and started twisting them together nervously. He gritted his teeth and quickly desisted as the burns pulled and pained him.

His chest suddenly hitched and he held his middle as a sharp flare emanated from his stomach and he felt sick again. He coughed weakly and turned his watering eyes to Alt-Carson.

Alt-Beckett quickly passed Rodney another bowl and said to the others, "I need you to leave. He's still not very well. When he's stronger he'll be more able to answer all of your questions."

Alt-John frowned in worry, "What's wrong, Rodney?"

McKay was bent over the bowl in his lap and looked up at Alt-Sheppard briefly as he mumbled, "It seems like this whole reality doesn't agree with me."

He was then violently sick again. He closed his eyes and groaned as he clutched the aching muscles on his belly and continued to dry wretch.

He looked at Alt-Carson and muttered, "So, how _did_ you survive?"

"I'm not sure. How did I die in your reality?"

Rodney was pleased Alt-Carson believed him so unquestioningly. He steeled himself to recount the horror and pain of the grief he still felt in his heart every day. "The radiation from that lab and the explosion as it turned two people into walking bombs?"

There was a slight pause before he spoke, "Aye, I remember now. Dr Zelenka came here after they were irradiated. He worked the whole night to make sure there was nothing untoward about the radiation."

Rodney was finding it increasingly harder to breathe as Alt-Carson continued, "We removed the tumours before they became dangerous. There was never any explosion."

Rodney closed his eyes tightly as his own guilt weighed his heart down so heavily it felt like it was struggling to continue beating in his chest. He decided he had to leave this reality fairly soon for his own sanity more than anything else. His eyes itched and stung with tears and he quickly rubbed them to get rid of the evidence.

The whole place just felt completely wrong. He could not live with the fact that Jennifer was not even there and dead people walked and talked like ghosts of the past he had tried so hard to forget by losing himself in his work. Ronon was dead too! He was barely coping with the loss of Elizabeth and Carson in his own reality and he knew that they both had to stay dead. A couple of years ago when their loss had been so fresh and intensely painful to him, he may have considered staying in this reality, but now he was not so sure.

Alt-Carson came back to him and spun a tablet around to show him some data.

Rodney sighed angrily and snapped, "I don't know what you remember about me, Carson, but I still don't understand medical gobbledegook."

"It's your test results. We did a full scan and blood test. I've only just finished my analysis."

Alt-Carson trailed off and pursed his lips. Rodney frowned at him, "Let me guess, it's not good news."

Alt-Carson said evenly, "We've discovered that your physiology just simply isn't compatible with any of the food we have. You'll die unless you eat soon, but we don't have any way to help you. The IV has kept you stable for now, but we can't expect you to remain with the line in you for the rest of your life."

A tight noose of fear encircled Rodney's heart and squeezed tightly as Alt-Carson spoke. It did not promise to let go anytime soon if he stayed in this reality. He glanced down at where the needle was still in his arm and winced, "No. The only way is for me to try out another reality and see if I can get back that way somehow. Do you have my tablet?"

Alt-Carson smiled, "Hassling me for your computer, just like old times?"

Rodney gave him a sour look and spoke patronisingly, "No, I need the one I was carrying when I was found."

Alt-Carson's face fell and he shrugged, "I don't remember seeing a tablet when we picked you up earlier. Radek may have it."

Rodney pushed himself upright and said forcefully, "Get me some proper clothes. I need to go and see him and then we can go down to the room with the archway."

Alt-Carson sighed, "Alright, but take it easy. The bruises and burns were not too serious, but not being able to eat anything will have left you feeling weakened. Don't push yourself too hard."

Rodney gave him a reassuring smile which rapidly fell into a grimace, "Um…"

Alt-Carson shook his head and sighed in exasperation.

* * *

Alt-Elizabeth came to visit Rodney with Alt-John and Alt-Teyla again later.

Alt-Radek had been just as awed and surprised to see Rodney as all the other people, until Rodney said he needed to leave this reality in order to survive.

Rodney picked at his uniform which was exactly like the one he had been wearing when he was kidnapped by the Wraith during the alliance. It made him feel like he was stuck in a bizarre time warp and even more out of place than he already did. It was good to see Elizabeth and the original Carson again but the unease over their return burrowed into his conscience too deeply for him to endure remaining in this reality for much longer.

Rodney looked up from his computer and spun around in the chair. He flinched when the IV line still in his arm snagged and shifted. He held his breath for a moment and let it out in a shaky sigh. When he opened his eyes again he asked the room in general, "So what happened? Without the Asurans I reckon it's been fairly quiet here."

Alt-Elizabeth answered, "Well, the Wraith are still around, but they're not much of a threat these days. What with the Daedalus and the Apollo looking over our shoulders. We mainly focus on exploration and understanding the technology we find."

"Oh," Rodney felt the guilt building up inside him again where he had tried and failed to keep it down and buried where it belonged. This reality really was much better than his own where he had had a major hand in destroying so many things and killing so many people. He stuttered, "Just don't go to M7R-227, which is also called Asuras, or everything will change!"

Alt-Radek glanced down briefly at his computer and then his eyes tracked over the people gathered, "This data is completely corrupted and indecipherable."

Rodney sighed sadly, "I know. Maybe just as I can't eat anything here, data from my reality can't be read here either. I'm sorry. I really need to leave before I starve to death."

Alt-Teyla nodded grimly, "It is very good to see you again, Rodney, but I do not wish to see you suffer for our benefit."

Alt-John nodded in agreement, "I'm happy to see you again too, McKay, but Teyla's right. Our Rodney's more than likely dead, but at least we know that in many other realities he's still alive."

Rodney did not say anything about the horrid guilt crushing him. He just nodded slowly and mumbled, "Okay, thanks."

* * *

Alt-Elizabeth's eyes sparkled in sadness as she watched Rodney in the room with the archway over the floor. He knew he could not stay there, even for her. It cut right to his core, but it was more than likely that he would die if he stayed and he really did not belong in this reality.

They had given him offworld gear and a rucksack full of supplies. Even though he could not keep any of the food down, they gave him some anyway in case it changed and became edible when it passed through the portal with him.

Alt-Teyla walked over to Rodney and gripped his shoulders. She tilted her head forwards and Rodney bumped foreheads with her. She squeezed his shoulders and said thickly, "Good luck, Rodney."

Alt-John merely shook Rodney's hand and slapped his upper arm. When their eyes met though, Rodney saw a deep sorrow in Alt-John and it made him furrow his brow sadly.

Alt-Carson removed the IV line from Rodney's arm and stuck a plaster over the hole left behind. He looked down and said, "I'm no good at this stuff."

Rodney smiled, "I know."

Alt-Carson then quickly raised his head and glared at Rodney intensely, "Ah, bloody hell. Come here." He then drew Rodney into a friendly hug and said shakily, "Good luck, Rodney. Whatever reality you came from, I hope you get back there."

Rodney patted Alt-Carson's back nervously and after a few seconds he was so uncomfortable he had to pry the Scot away from him. Alt-Teyla was fighting back a smile, but Alt-John was smirking so much he looked like a Cheshire Cat.

Alt-Carson blinked through shining eyes and stalked out the room while muttering angrily, "Always embarrassing myself…"

Alt-John and Alt-Teyla looked at Rodney one last time and then left him alone with Alt-Elizabeth.

She walked over to him and Rodney looked away as she wrapped her fingers around his upper arms. He stuttered, "Elizabeth, I…"

She looked at him sadly and then one of her hands moved up and held the side of his face. He lifted his eyes and met hers in confusion.

She smiled at him and raised her eyebrows as she said, "I won't tell anyone if you don't…"

Rodney furrowed his brow and frowned in confusion, "What do you…"

Before he could continue, Alt-Elizabeth leant right in a kissed him. Rodney's eyes widened and then closed as he kissed her back.

She soon broke away and then turned and stalked out of the room as quickly as she could, leaving Rodney with his mouth hanging open in shock.

It took him several minutes to recover and he went over and stood close to the archway and braced himself. He reached up and tapped his radio, "McKay to Control Room. I'm ready. Don't forget to shut it right down and seal the room after I'm gone."

"_We know, Rodney,"_ Alt-Radek replied. _"Standby."_

Rodney suddenly blurted, "Oh, remember; don't go to M7R-227!"

The portal activated and unstoppably dragged him through a moment later. He did not know whether they had heard and would heed his warning about the Replicators.

Ice covered him as he fell through and he rolled along the floor almost expertly. He only banged his knee on the ground as he landed this time. He sat up and as he rubbed his throbbing appendage, he grimly wondered what reality he had arrived in this time and whether he would _ever_ get home again.

* * *

TBC


	4. The Drowned City

**Chapter 4 – The Drowned City**

Rodney sat on the floor in the room for a long time after he fell through the portal. His senses were still reeling from the kiss he had just shared with Elizabeth in the other reality. He licked his lips unconsciously at the memory and felt sadness in his heart over her fate in his own reality. He rubbed his forehead wishing the touch could push away the painful thoughts going through his mind.

He needed a few minutes to recover from the emotional upheaval of the two realities he had just seen. Horror in anticipation of what he would find in this new one gripped him and he grimaced. He needed to find out and check whether the data on his computer was now intelligible.

However, his most pressing concern at that moment was the howling chasm of his painfully empty belly. Without the IV line he soon started to feel hunger creeping up on him. If he did not eat soon, he would fall into a coma and he did not want to think about what would happen to him after that.

The room was dimly lit as it had been in the other realities he had already passed through. He put the rucksack down between his outstretched legs and rummaged through the contents. He pulled out a power bar in triumph and tore off the wrapper.

Rodney eyed the bar for a fraction of a second like he was afraid of it and then cautiously nibbled a tiny amount from the end. He swallowed and waited for the nausea and sickness to follow and make him throw it back up again.

He held it out in front of himself and frowned in confusion as he stared at the innocent looking snack. He continued to wait and mumbled, "I'm sure it happened sooner in that other place."

He chewed off a lot more and had soon finished the whole bar, but the sickness did not follow. The food had become edible. He muttered sadly, "Well that's staved off the inevitable for a few more hours."

Rodney grabbed a torch out of the bag and pulled the new laptop out to study the data once more. He winced as he stretched his bruised knee out. Then he relaxed and settled his legs back onto the floor. His back was becoming stiff from sitting on the hard floor for so long, but he had to check the data before he even contemplated leaving the room.

He sighed in frustration when the same gibberish met his eyes as he struggled to make any sense of the data he had. He needed to find help, another set of eyes to check over the data would not go amiss, even if he was not back in his own reality. In all honesty, Rodney knew he would probably never get back now. With an infinite number of possible realities it was highly unlikely that he would ever find the exact one he had lost.

He felt loneliness clutching his heart and furrowed his brow sadly as he packed away his laptop and grabbed another power bar. He ate it in record time and flinched when he had finished. His reaction was unjustified though, as he managed to keep the second bar down with the first.

He smiled grimly as he held the torch aloft and stood up. His stomach was less painful, but he needed to find some proper food to sustain him if he was to survive and find his way home.

Rodney limped out of the lab as walking made his bruised knee ache and frowned when the lights in the corridor activated as he walked along. In the other realities, and his own, the whole section had been powered down and strictly monitored so that it did not waste precious energy.

He checked the gun strapped to his leg was still in place and could be drawn easily. He then stepped into the transporter, tapped the control for near the Gate Room and steeled himself for what he was about to find.

* * *

Rodney was met by eerie silence and darkness as he stepped out of the transporter. He clicked the torch on as he clutched it in his hand and walked along the corridor. As he reached the Gate Room, the Ancient systems noticed his gene and sluggishly activated.

The lights started to turn on around him and he frowned at the dead plants on the floor along the corridor. He muttered, "I don't even _want_ to know what happened to me in this reality…" as he walked into the abandoned and darkened Gate Room.

For the expedition had never made it to Atlantis in this reality.

Rodney grimly wondered how he had died before he had even reached Atlantis and whether Earth still existed. He realised there was no way for him to know. He would never dare to try and dial the address for Earth to find out.

His eyes widened as he looked out of the window in the Gate Room at the deep water beyond. It was obvious that the shield was still holding back the sea, but he did not know how much time he had left to escape before the city flooded.

He stood in the centre of the Gate Room and suddenly there was a loud bang nearby and a rushing sound approached him. He spun around on the spot to face the source of the noise and said in a panicked whisper, "I have to get out of here!" He knew that any other reality would be better than remaining in this one as the city was drowned.

Freezing cold water spread out over the floor in the Gate Room as Rodney dashed back to the transporter. The water rose and soon he was wildly splashing in the liquid as his feet ploughed through it and it went above his ankles.

He was too filled with adrenaline at that moment to shiver at how cold the water was as it soaked through his clothes. He slowed down when he reached the transporter and stepped inside. His chest hitched as he drew in rapid breaths and he hammered the display for the transporter closest to the lab he needed to reach.

The screen stayed blank and beeped negatively at him. He frantically hit the image and shouted at it, "Come on! I'm going to drown if I don't get out of here!"

The wall remained blank as it taunted him. Rodney's breathing became ragged in panic as water sloshed around his legs and continued to rise. He gasped to the control panel, "Okay, if that's the way you want to play it!"

He lifted his feet out of the water as he ran as fast as he could back along the corridor towards the Gate Room. He nearly fell as the weight and drag of the rising water made movement difficult. He was panting for air by the time the water reached his waist. The sound of his rapid breaths was lost in the noise of the water as it splashed around him.

In no time at all the water was up to his chest and he trembled as he pushed himself forwards and reached the Gate Room. He looked up the steps where he needed to go.

He suddenly tripped and went under. When he surfaced, he coughed and choked out the water he had inhaled and grimaced. He realised that the water was now too deep for him to walk anymore. He shivered violently as numbness from the icy water spread through him and made breathing a lot harder. Rodney's heart pounded rapidly in fright while it tried to compensate for the shocking cold.

He rapidly lost all the feeling in arms and legs as he swam up towards the staircase to the Jumper Bay above. The fearful cold enveloped him until he saw darkness closing in around the edges of his vision. His breathing soon became too difficult for him to get enough air to remain conscious for very much longer. The ice spread through his chest and gripped his heart as it beat too fast inside him.

Rodney weakened as he lost all his strength trying to keep his head above the water. The rucksack still strapped to his shoulders felt like it was getting heavier as it dragged him under again. He spluttered and realised that if he were going to survive, he would need to lose the bag and all its contents. He had a far more urgent concern with staying alive and not drowning than eating and trying to get his soaked computer to work again so that he could look at the useless data.

He shrugged the straps off his shoulders as his head went below the surface again. The rucksack slipped away and he was then able to pull himself up again more easily.

He swam over to the stairs leading up to the Jumper Bay. He then placed his feet on the lowest step and staggered above the top of the rising water on his numb and shaky legs. They barely managed to support his weight and he tipped forwards to use his trembling hands to aid his climb.

The water was rising rapidly now and lapped around his feet as he tripped and landed heavily. He was too numb to feel any pain as he screwed his eyes tightly closed and the panic gripping him allowed him to stand and crawl up the stairs once again.

He staggered into the Jumper Bay and turned around and watched in fear as the water spilled over the top of the stairwell and flooded out over the floor in the Bay. He only had a matter of minutes before he succumb to hypothermia and then he would no longer be able to move as the water drowned him.

Rodney gritted his teeth while he moved as fast as he could. He could not stop the way his body was trembling as massive shudders passed through him in cold.

He walked into the rear compartment of one of the ships and the water began to flood inside the craft and reached his ankles. He collapsed heavily into the pilot's chair and forced his pain filled mind to focus on powering up the systems. Where the numbness ended, sharp knives of pain stabbed through him.

It took a massive effort to control himself sufficiently to activate the engines and close the rear hatch. The adrenaline and fear of death helped, but he still winced and continued to shake.

The water rose above the windscreen of the Jumper as Rodney watched and he nearly tipped out of his seat when his vision blacked out completely for a moment. He pried his eyes open and grasped the control sticks as firmly as he could, but he had no sensation in his hands and could not feel the controls properly. Instead, he used his frayed mind to mentally pilot the Jumper off the ground and up out of the bay.

Rodney had no way to drain the water from the craft and his feet felt like blocks of ice as they remained in the freezing water. He was unsure whether he would ever be able to use them again. He needed to leave this reality and get help.

He brought up the HUD as he circled the Jumper around in the water and guided it back towards Atlantis as the city lay silently on the ocean floor.

He noticed in horror and dread that his destination was also completely flooded. He checked the power left in the Jumper he was flying, but there was not enough power left to increase the size of the shield enough so that he could make his way to the lab.

His breaths were still coming in rapid and shuddering gasps as the cold crept up his legs and his soaked clothes clung to him. His eyes watered and made it difficult to concentrate and try to figure out how he was going to escape.

He flew down deeper and halted the Jumper to hover right next to the lab. He realised that it was right at the edge of the city and there was a very small window. He realised it would not be enough and at this depth he would be crushed flat and killed the moment he opened the rear hatch due to the pressure.

He shivered and said weakly, "Think, McKay!"

An idea suddenly came to him as he began to drift away. His eyes snapped open and he accessed the weapons systems. He sighed in relief when he saw a single drone in the Jumper ready for deployment. He locked onto his target and fired.

The drone impacted the wall to the left of the lab and the subsequent explosion punched a large hole in the metal. Rodney flew the Jumper over and turned it. He reversed it into the gap created and forced it through. There was only just enough power for him to expand the shield in order to plug the hole around the Jumper.

He accessed Atlantis' systems too and sealed all the doors around the lab so that the pressure would no longer be a problem unless one of the doors failed or was already too badly damaged to hold back the water.

He examined the HUD and realised he still had several metres to swim in order to get to the control panel in the lab. Once he had opened the rear hatch and was in the water; there would be no going back. He would only get one chance and he was going to die soon anyway as he had no food and the numbing cold had now reached his chest. The shivers were beginning to dissipate and he knew that that was very bad news.

Rodney fell out of his seat with a splash and created rippling waves in the water with his movements. He crawled along the deck of the Jumper with his forearms and lower legs in the water and furrowed his brow and blinked. His movements were slowing down and he urgently needed to find a power source to use on the control panel.

He curled his hands against the wall of the Jumper and pulled himself up with a cry in exertion and desperation. He yanked down the crystal tray and used his numb fingers to fumble and pull out some power crystals. He stuffed them into his pockets and kept hold of another one.

He then collapsed down heavily onto the deck with a large splash as his legs gave out. He pushed his face out of the water and spluttered and coughed where he had inhaled some of the water.

He could have warmed the water up, as he did before, but he needed all the spare power for the shield now. He could see that the crystals he had grabbed were virtually depleted. He prayed that one of them had enough power left to kickstart the archway to drag him out of the nightmare of freezing water and emptiness he had come across.

Rodney drew in a few deep breaths and then one massive lungful of air. He then pulled the emergency hatch opening lever and his entire world was drowned as the only air he had left was lost in the influx of icy water.

Rodney would have gasped and released his breath if he knew there was oxygen available to suck in afterwards. Instead his throat burned and ached as he waved his numb arms and legs and pulled himself through the water.

He opened his eyes and they stung and burned in the salty seawater. His only comfort was that he had not been immediately crushed and that the seal around the Jumper and the doors inside Atlantis were still holding back the water to allow his passage.

He swam under the inactive archway in the lab and reached the control console. He dropped the first power crystal on the floor as it slipped from his unfeeling fingers. He panicked and nearly drew in some water right then. He frantically pulled another one from his pocket and slotted it into place on the console.

Rodney felt his throat protesting and light-headedness from lack of oxygen as the display in front of him lit up. He closed his eyes as the most welcome and familiar snag grabbed him and he was pulled backwards and through the archway.

Rodney rolled over and over wetly when he landed on the other side. He coughed savagely to expel all the water that was choking him. He wheezed and gasped in laboured breaths, but the air he was receiving was not quite enough for him to recover.

Rodney saw rough hands grabbing his shoulders and brutally shaking him with his fading senses. His arms were pulled up above his head and he cracked his eyes open to see that he was being dragged out of the room across the floor. He could no longer feel anything though; no pain and no cold as he closed his eyes and let the numbness claim his mind as well as his body.

* * *

TBC


	5. How I Died

_The Eye…_

_**Chapter 5 – How I Died**_

Rodney awoke to the sound of raised voices. He was completely wrapped up and weighed down by heavy blankets, but he still felt cold and shivered as he kept his eyes shut.

"Nae! If you hurt him while he's in this weakened state, you could kill him. I won't let you take him and do what you've done to the other man!"

A calm and deep male voice replied, "Now, now, Dr Beckett. If he dies, it will only be your fault for not healing him properly."

Rodney felt like the iced water was still flowing around his body and freezing him right to the core at the sound of that voice. Carson was still alive in this reality, but the other man proved that he was definitely not home yet.

"Kolya…" Rodney whispered and wished he had not, as the argument suddenly stopped and he heard booted feet clomping across the floor towards him.

"Ah, Dr McKay, I see you are finally awake. I have many questions for you and require your help."

The speech was perfectly even and belied the violence used on Rodney in the past to extract the information the Genii wanted from the scientist. He closed his eyes more tightly and sunk beneath the covers to try and get away. He wished for unconsciousness to claim him, but it did not.

Kolya said, "Get him up and take him to the main Control Room."

There were more approaching footsteps and before Rodney could steel himself, he felt cold as the covers were pulled back and strong hands grabbed his arms. The sensation had fully returned and he could feel the pain from the fingers as they brutally dug into his biceps and tugged him upright.

Rodney opened his eyes and blinked in the bright lights of the infirmary. Kolya was standing right in front of Rodney and glaring at him. Carson stood behind Kolya and was twisting his hands together nervously. Rodney frowned in concern at the state of his friend. The doctor had much messier and longer hair and several days of stubble. Carson's eyes were darting around the room in panic and suddenly they locked with Rodney's.

McKay physically staggered at the depths of sad hopelessness he saw on his friend's face. The hands holding him upright increased their pressure on his arms as he moved and he gritted his teeth.

Kolya narrowed his eyes and then spoke to Rodney, "We have been watching that device all the time we have been here, waiting to see whether it would activate and reveal its secrets to us. So, Dr McKay, my first question is this; where did you come from?"

Rodney looked down at his feet and winced. He was wearing a uniform rather than infirmary scrubs, but the material was not providing enough heat after his recent bout of hypothermia. He shivered violently and closed his eyes.

He felt a weight over his shoulders and opened his eyes in fear to see what it was. Kolya had allowed Carson to wrap a blanket around Rodney's trembling form. He reached up one of his shaking hands and tugged the blanket down over his chest and held the edges together tightly.

"Come now, Dr McKay, there will be plenty of time for you to answer all my questions later."

The soldiers shoved Rodney out of the infirmary while another remained behind and blocked Carson from leaving. The doctor called out desperately after Rodney, "Please, don't hurt him!"

Kolya paused and turned around. He glanced impassively at Rodney briefly before he looked at Carson, "As long as he cooperates, we will not have to use any methods of persuasion."

Rodney did not like the sound of that, but he was not strong enough to protest or fight back as he was shoved along the corridor and into a transporter. He tugged the blanket more firmly down over his shoulders and trembled, but it was not just the cold that was making him shake anymore.

* * *

Merciless hands on Rodney's back forced him to walk up the steps in the Gate Room. Soldiers kept their guns trained on him all the time, even though he was no threat to them. It was only serving to increase the downward spiral of misery and fear he was experiencing.

Strong hands on his shoulders pushed him down into a seat next to one of the Ancient control panels. Rodney held onto the blanket and drew it up where it had slipped off one of his shoulders.

Kolya nodded at one of his soldiers and the man grabbed the blanket and wrenched it from Rodney's weak grasp and tossed it aside. McKay furrowed his brow and hugged his arms around his chest as he started to shiver again.

Kolya gripped the armrests of Rodney's chair and moved his face in closely to the scientist's. McKay flinched backwards as the Genii invaded his personal space unpleasantly, but there was nowhere for him to go. Instead, all that he could do was look away.

Kolya smiled at him nastily and said, "We have been trying to access the systems you locked out after the storm for several years now. No-one has been able to assist us. I am curious as to exactly where you came from, but I will settle for now at having access to the entire city."

Rodney glared up at him, "Let me guess; you killed me?" He then looked down and mumbled, "Go me, for locking out all the systems before I died."

Kolya backhanded him across the jaw and Rodney cried out weakly as he rubbed his smarting face. He turned his head to the side and spat blood out onto the floor where he had bitten through his lip.

The Genii straightened up and looked confused for a moment before his neutral expression returned. "You are correct in your assumption, Dr McKay. You will therefore know that I have no qualms about killing you again. However, if you do not assist us, things will become most unpleasant for you. I believe a little persuasion may very well be necessary and not just for old times' sake."

Rodney grimaced and looked around at all the soldiers looming over him. They still had their guns raised and that was enough of an incentive for him at the moment. He spun around in his chair and clicked a few keys of the laptop in front of him. The Genii had obviously left all of the original equipment the expedition had brought with them in the hope that someone would be able to use it.

The first thing Rodney did was bring up the base records. He had to find out what had happened in this reality and whether there was anyone left on Atlantis other than Carson and himself along with more Genii soldiers than he would ever be able to fight his way past.

He glanced up over the top of the screen nervously after a few minutes and noted the locations of all the soldiers. Kolya was talking quietly to one of his men and the others seemed to be ignoring Rodney to watch.

Rodney easily broke through the code in place to access the minimal amount of data he required. He then tried to find out the exact moment in his personal history when the timeline had diverged. There were no records after the storm when the Genii had been forced to leave Atlantis before it hit in his reality. Instead he discovered that the Genii stayed and as he would probably have done in his own reality, his alternate self had battled to save the city even facing down the barrel of a gun.

Rodney saw that his other self had managed to raise the shield in time just before he had locked down all the systems with codes. Rodney thought that the Genii had probably killed him after the city was safe and he had not had enough time to make the codes more difficult to crack. As it was at that moment, the lockdown was easy to break through. Rodney refused to let the Genii of this reality claim the full potential of the city, just as he would never give in to them in his own reality.

He frowned in concentration as he added an even more complex layer of code over the other one and scrambled the systems until he could barely keep track of the lines of text himself. He smiled savagely at his handiwork and asked loudly, "So, what happened to Elizabeth, Ford, Teyla and the rest of the expedition? And how have you been avoiding the Wraith all these years?"

Kolya walked back over to Rodney. McKay quickly switched the screen on the laptop to something different and folded his arms over his chest defensively. He looked at Kolya as innocently as possible, but the Genii seemed to be able to see right through him straight away. He indicated one of his soldiers and said, "Check what he just did."

Kolya then looked down at Rodney and spoke coldly, "They are all gone, Dr McKay. The Genii control Atlantis, just as we deserve. We only kept those with the gene alive and got Dr Beckett to kindly inoculate all of my men with the ATA gene vaccination."

Rodney's mouth dropped open as he looked in shock at Kolya, "So… you…?"

Kolya nodded and smiled, "Oh yes, it worked on me and I have the power to control the systems now, just as you can. But we only have access to the ships you call 'Puddle Jumpers,' the stargate and the transporters. We would like to have more systems online so that we can complete our plan."

Rodney curled his lip up into a snarl and winced as it split open again and blood dribbled down his chin. He said angrily, "What's this plan of yours then? Hmm, galactic domination, perhaps?"

Kolya flexed his fist in annoyance, but his face still remained stoic, "No, our plan is to use this city to destroy the Wraith once and for all. They do not bother us and have never come to Atlantis while we have been taking care of the city."

Rodney frowned in confusion as he absently dabbed at his cut lip with the sleeve of his jacket. He then folded his arms over his chest again and said patronisingly, "Oh, please! How stupid do you think I am? I bet having this city has made you the leader of the Genii." Rodney glanced around at the soldiers watching him and addressed them, "But the mighty Kolya still doesn't have full control even after nearly four years. I bet all your companions are itching to usurp you and get the power themselves."

Kolya sneered dangerously at him, but kept his peace. There was still no emotion in his voice as he said, "You are correct in both respects, Dr McKay. I am indeed the leader of the Genii and there are many traitors among my people."

Rodney's face brightened and he felt hope building in his heart. It was quickly destroyed during Kolya's next sentence. "You will find none of them here. Only my most trusted men are allowed to accompany me away from the Genii homeworld."

"Oh," Rodney sighed sadly and turned to look at the data again.

Kolya asked the man sitting next to Rodney who had been checking over the code, "Well?"

"I'm sorry, sir, he's made it more difficult for us to crack it and locked us out of the stargate! We were close to getting through the original code, but it's impossible now!"

Rodney braced himself for the comeback, but he could not shield himself from physical abuse in the weakened state he was in and against the heavily armed and highly trained soldiers surrounding him.

Kolya nodded at two soldiers standing behind McKay and they pulled him up to his feet. They shoved him forwards until Rodney was standing in front of Kolya. He gritted his teeth and shook in fear as the Genii commander bunched his hand into a fist.

Rodney tried to move away, but firm hands pressing into his back stopped him. Kolya punched Rodney in the stomach as hard as he could and as he fell, Kolya brought his knee up and drove it into Rodney's groin.

Rodney cried out and landed heavily. He scrunched his face up in pain and curled into a foetal position. He whimpered as he clasped his hands between his legs to protect himself from further assault.

Kolya looked down at him coldly and said, "You disappoint me, Dr McKay. I would have thought an intelligent man such as yourself would have found it easy to break through the code. I do not really have any intention to harm you, but if you do not assist us then you must realise that I do not have any choice."

Rodney moaned in agony as he continued to clutch himself and rock slightly on the floor.

Kolya sighed and said, "Put him with the other one until he has had some more time to consider his options."

Rodney felt himself being pulled upright and he limped and leant right over as they shoved him down the steps. He had only just been able to narrowly open his watering eyes to see where he was going, but the pain clouding his mind made any coherent thinking impossible.

He vaguely watched through the blurry haze as he went on another transporter trip. He was then marched along a corridor, but walking was now so painful for him he could hardly suck in enough air through his gritted teeth to remain vertical. He was shoved through a door and collapsed onto the floor in the darkened room as the hands released him. The door shut behind him and he curled up into a tight ball and screwed his eyes closed.

* * *

Rodney could not recall when he had lost consciousness, but he was glad he had, as the pain from his assault had now diminished into a dull ache. He groaned and muttered, "I'm never going to have any children now!"

He was still lying on his side and slowly uncurled himself and rested a hand on his middle as he stretched out and the bruise from the punch to his stomach became more painful. He grimaced and grumbled, "The internal bleeding will probably kill me before I get the chance to try anyway."

Rodney jumped in shock and flinched when a quiet voice whispered, "So much redness. It was like the setting sun over the mountains."

"Hello? Who's there?" Rodney asked in panic as he rolled onto his back and rested his arms over his sore midsection. He turned his head each way and looked around the room, but there were many dark shadows and he could not see anyone else.

"The knife and the sound! Oh, that _sound_ was like a gunshot and I can still hear it now!"

The voice was getting louder and more worked up. Rodney felt a similar fear gripping his own heart which had begun to pound in fright. What were the Genii doing, locking him up in a room with some crazy person?

"I tried, oh, I tried to stop them. I'm so sorry! There was too much blood and I just couldn't end the flow no matter how much ran over my hands where I pressed all my weight against that terrible… but what are you doing here now? A ghost?"

Rodney widened his eyes in realisation as he noticed something familiar about the voice. He whispered, "John?"

"Rodney?"

McKay rolled over and furrowed his brow as he slowly crawled along the floor towards the place where he had heard the voice emanating from.

"No, you're dead! I, uh, I…" There was a frantic scratching and scrabbling sound and Rodney moved even closer to the noise. He could not see anything in the shadows ahead of him, no matter how widely he opened his eyes to let in more light.

He steeled himself and remained on his hands and knees as he approached the darkness. When he reached the edge, a hand suddenly came at him from the shadows and grabbed his throat.

He was shocked at the incredible strength of the other man when he took hold of Rodney's upper arm and flipped him over. There was a dull thud as Rodney's back connected with the floor and all his breath left him. The hand around his throat tightened and crushed his windpipe down. He felt a huge pressure on his bruised stomach as a knee leant against his solar plexus and made his gasping breaths almost impossible and his vision was tinted with white spots around the edges.

He narrowed his eyes at the figure pinning him to the floor and wheezed, "John, please stop, it's me!"

Sheppard's face was hidden behind his messy, long hair and beard, but it was unmistakably him. Instead of releasing McKay he drove his knee in more savagely and Rodney could no longer breathe at all.

John muttered, "You're just another trick or a hallucination from the Genii. But I won't, I can't break the code! You know that. This man was the only one who could do it!"

Rodney's eyes had just closed when suddenly the crushing weight was removed and left only pain in its wake. He still could not breathe though and struggled weakly.

John tapped his face and said, "That's it! If it's really you I can help you get rid of them!"

Rodney coughed and rolled over onto his side and hugged his middle as he sucked in wheezing breaths and the pain continued to ramp up as he returned to full awareness. He gasped, "What the hell did you do that for? The Genii have really driven you crazy, haven't they?"

Rodney wondered how much torture John had had to endure for four years at the hands of the Genii to make him like he currently was. He rolled onto his back again as John sat down on the floor next to him and stared at his face. Rodney felt uncomfortable under the probing gaze as John's eyes were wide with wonder and madness.

Rodney closed his eyes and clutched his bruised belly as the pain continued to encircle him. He asked, "So, how did I die here? Was it Kolya?"

John nodded and whispered, "The knife, he waited until the city would not be destroyed and them stabbed you in the chest."

Rodney winced and moved his other hand up and laid it over his heart. John continued with grim wonder etched over his face as he looked down at Rodney, "It cracked your sternum… like a…" He waved his hands about blindly as though searching the air for the right word as it eluded him. "Like a…"

"Gunshot? Yes, I heard that bit, thanks."

They sat in pensive silence for a few minutes until the door to the room opened and light flooded in. Rodney did not turn towards the sound of the person coming over to him. He felt the floor vibrating under him as he remained stretched out flat on his back and tensed up in fear.

He closed his eyes and waited to be manhandled out of the room for another session with Kolya and his goons.

He felt a gentler touch as a hand rested on his forehead and a quiet sigh nearby. The hand moved down to his wrist and pressed against the vein to take his pulse. He whispered, "Carson?"

"Aye, what did they do to you? I told them not to, but they never listen. They didn't listen to me about John and now look at him. I don't want you to suffer and die inside like he has."

Rodney said sadly, "I had a close encounter with Kolya's fist and knee. Crazy John over there made his handiwork even better with his own knee a moment ago."

"Where are you hurt?"

Rodney patted his stomach and flinched. He was too embarrassed about the other dull throbbing pain still hurting him to mention it to Carson and knew he would rather endure that one on his own.

Carson slipped his arm under Rodney's back and helped him to sit up. He unzipped the bag he had brought with him and passed some painkillers and a bottle of water to the scientist. Rodney took them gratefully and crossed his legs and grimaced as he remained upright.

Carson kept his hand on Rodney's back as he drew a computer tablet out of the bag. He asked loudly, "So, how _did_ you get here? Do you know how the device works?"

Rodney frowned in confusion, John had already moved back into the shadows and the scratching sound could be heard again as he clawed the wall.

Carson tilted the screen towards Rodney so that he could read it.

_They're listening. I want to help you get out of here, but you need to play along._

Rodney's eyes widened and he took the tablet from Carson as he spoke and typed at the same time, "I came from another reality. I still don't know how the device works or whether it can even be controlled. I'm trying to get back to my own reality, but haven't yet had a moment to study any data from the device. Every reality so far hasn't given me a moment to rest other than in numb unconsciousness from some trauma or another."

He passed the tablet back to Carson and he read the text. _I need a gun and a radio. Can John help us too?_

Carson nodded and reached into his bag. He had already come equipped with what Rodney had asked for. The darkness of the room would prevent any video feed from being able to see what was going on, but Carson indicated for them to move into the shadows near John anyway to increase the concealment.

Carson passed him a Genii gun, but he had managed to procure some original Earth radios from somewhere. Rodney put the radio headset behind his ear and checked the gun had its safety on before he tucked it into his trousers against the small of his back.

Carson did the same and went over to John. Rodney heard a small struggle, but soon John was sitting next to him and holding the gun in his hand and gazing at it in fascination. He waved it around and Rodney grabbed John's wrist when the barrel swayed over and pointed at his chest. He whispered, "Keep that thing away from me!"

John smirked at him guiltily and tucked it into his trousers just as McKay had done.

Rodney tapped on the screen again and then spun it around to show Carson. _You don't have to do this! They'll probably kill you!_

Carson sighed sadly and took the computer. He typed, _Quite frankly, I don't really care any more. We've been here alone for years now. We'll never get back to Earth, but your arrival has changed all that. John's not been well enough to help me for a very long time._

Rodney turned to him as another idea occurred to him, "How many Genii are on Atlantis at the moment?"

Carson glanced down at his hands and thought for a moment, "They usually have at least ten here at all times. Right now I'm not sure."

Rodney typed, _The gate's disabled. We can take them. When they're all gone, I'll reboot the systems and you might be able to dial Earth and go home._

Carson smiled at him grimly and nodded, "Okay, let's go."

* * *

John stood in front of Rodney and Carson with his gun out ready. He banged on the door and Carson called out, "I'm ready to leave now!"

The Genii guards opened the door and John shot both of them before they had any chance to defend themselves. Rodney turned away so that he did not see the event and then looked back up and followed the others out of his prison cell.

John seemed to have become more lucid now that he had a gun and a purpose. He set his face in an intense expression of furious vengeance as he stalked up the corridor ahead of the two civilians and into the nearest transporter.

Rodney held the gun in his shaking hands and tapped the map of Atlantis. The door in front of them closed and opened a moment later to reveal a different corridor. John stepped out, but Rodney held him back and said, "I'll lead the way. Follow me."

John pursed his lips in frustration, but let McKay go first anyway. Another Genii soldier was wandering backwards and forwards across the entrance to the lab. Rodney peered around the corner and held up one finger and pointed frantically around the wall he was pressed up against.

John rolled his eyes and stepped out of cover. He squeezed off a single shot and a heavy thump echoed down the corridor towards the three men.

Carson raised his eyebrows, "I take it that's where we need to go?"

Rodney nodded, "Yes, Colonel Crackpot has obviously found his calling again."

John sighed and said, "Ass."

Carson smiled and Rodney frowned angrily. They then proceeded into the lab warily.

Rodney snapped his fingers at Carson, "Tablet."

Carson dropped his rucksack on the floor and passed the computer to the impatient scientist. Rodney tucked the gun back into his trousers and pulled his shirt down over it to conceal it. He then plugged the tablet into the control panel as John and Carson kept watch over him.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead in exasperation as no useful data was forthcoming. He was puzzled as to why the device was not fully active all the time as the lab was powered up.

Suddenly three gunshots rang out and made Rodney's teeth rattle, they were so loud in the small room. He spun around and watched as two more soldiers crumpled to the floor, but the third one was still alive and clicked his radio and said quickly, "Backup to the arch room!"

John pulled the trigger again and the man fell down, but the damage was already done. Carson turned to McKay and said in panic, "You need to work faster, Rodney. I don't want to shoot anyone and John won't be able to hold them all off alone."

Rodney gritted his teeth as pain flared through his midsection again where he had twisted around too quickly. He typed on the tablet and frowned in annoyance, "This is ridiculous!" He shook the computer in fury and muttered angrily, "None of this makes any sense! By these readings the device is already operational, why are none of us being pulled through? Unless… the lockouts! Somehow they're blocking it! Just a few more minutes and I'll break through them for this lab only."

Rodney continued to work as Carson and John took up strategic positions at the edges of the room. Rodney was still far too exposed as he stood out in the open and Carson called out to him, "I'd move if I were you, Rodney. Those lunatics will probably be here soon."

McKay grimaced and left the tablet on the control panel. He had seen what he needed to do to unlock the system and allow his passage onto the next reality. He decided to stay for a few minutes and see whether he could help Carson and John free Atlantis from the Genii and get home first. They were not his own friends, but he felt he owed it to them as they were probably the only survivors of the fated expedition in this reality and they had both helped him.

Before he found cover, several more gunshots reverberated around the room. None of the bullets found him as he dashed the last few metres to the edge of the room and took up position behind John. He drew his gun out and fired blindly at the door.

The soldiers were hiding out of range behind the wall and waiting while they kept the three Lanteans under siege. A gun appeared in the doorway and fired a few more shots into the room. The bullets harmlessly embedded themselves in walls and the ceiling, but Rodney panicked and shot the last of his bullets futilely towards the door. His gun clicked empty and a deeper fear clutched his heart.

John turned to him and shook his head. Carson still had not fired a single shot and his face was ashen as he kept his gun pointed at the ground.

Another gunshot rang out in the room and John tensed up just before he pitched over sideways.

Rodney's eyes widened and he held onto John's shoulders as he fell down. Blood pooled on the floor around him and Rodney saw that he would probably never get up again. He had been shot in the head and his eyes were already closed as his last breath passed out of his slightly parted lips in a sigh. Rodney glanced over at Carson and begged, "Do something!"

Carson shook his head and whispered, "I'm really sorry, Rodney. I didn't have a choice. They made me do it."

McKay let go of John's unmoving frame and laid him gently on the floor as he watched Carson lift the gun up and aim it at him with a grimace. John's gun had flown out of his hand and was now too far away for Rodney to reach. He stood up straight, lifted his hands up in surrender and asked in a high pitched voice, "What's going on? Carson…?"

Beckett frowned at him as he revealed the depths of his betrayal to the man he had once called his best friend in the other reality, "They only tortured John because he refused to help them. I couldn't even endure the _threat_ of torture so I agreed to go along with their plans. They'd already killed or put the rest of the expedition offworld so I didn't see the harm in it really. I even convinced myself that I could one day get Atlantis back from them and make my way home again."

Rodney's hands shook and his heart beat quickly against his ribcage in shock. Carson turned towards the door and called out, "It's clear!"

Five Genii soldiers entered the room and went over to stand behind Carson on the opposite side of the room to Rodney as he kept his hands up. They all trained their weapons on him and he widened his eyes and furrowed his brow in fright.

Kolya walked into the room next. His slow and deliberate footsteps infuriated Rodney, but he did not dare to move or shout as he did not want a bullet to find him. He knew they would not hesitate to shoot him now if he moved even an inch.

Rodney locked eyes with Carson and tried to convey a pleading look for help to his friend as he kept the gun unwaveringly aimed at Rodney's chest. He thought he saw Carson's eyes change for a moment in understanding, but he was not sure because the next moment the look was gone and replaced by grim determination.

Rodney looked down at John's still form at his feet and opened his mouth to speak. He could only lift and lower his jaw, but no sounds were made in his vocal chords as he tried to say something, anything, to convey his sudden shock and grief.

Kolya stopped pacing and spun around to face him. He said evenly, "So, you admit that you can get this device working again fairly easily, Dr McKay. The only thing I have left to work with is you now." Kolya gestured down at John on the floor and said, "You were not a very good friend to him were you? You let him die to save yourself."

Rodney felt a rising tide of anger building in his chest and overwhelming him.

Kolya smiled at his taunt and continued, "I know you are probably not really in the mood for helping us now, so I believe it would be better if we escorted you back to your cell to think things over."

Kolya glanced back at the soldiers who stood around Carson. Rodney noticed that Carson was looking at the ground with a frown and had shifted backwards so that none of the soldiers were behind him anymore.

When Kolya turned to face Rodney again he said conspiratorially, "You know, my men are tired of dragging you around the city, Dr McKay. They complain that you are very heavy and difficult to move. They are reluctant to carry you all the way back to your cell, so I think it is about time you lost some of that weight. It may also help focus your mind on the task at hand too."

Rodney lowered his arms down by his sides, but it had no effect on the Genii. He kept his eyes on Kolya as the Genii commander came over to him and stood far too close for comfort. Rodney glared at him, but his look could do nothing to alter the slightly amused and mad expression he received in return.

Rodney did not see Kolya's fist move this time as he was brutally punched in the stomach again.

Carson cried, "No!" from the other side of the room as Rodney staggered backwards under the force of the blow.

It felt different from before though, the punch seemed to have more bite than was possible for a blunt impact. He looked down and moved his shaking hands away from his abdomen and held them out in front of himself so that he could see them. He saw they were covered in blood and released a soft, "Oh," in shock.

Kolya approached him again and Rodney looked up and saw that the Genii had a red tinted and dripping knife in his hand. He suddenly realised that the punch had actually been a stabbing blade. Rodney continued to stagger backwards until he hit the wall and leant heavily against it, breathing hard.

Kolya lifted the knife up and it flashed silently as it sliced through the air and plunged into Rodney's chest.

Carson was looking at the scene in horror and the second time Kolya stabbed Rodney was enough to push him over the edge. He suddenly switched his allegiance in guilt and moved his gun away from pointing at Rodney. He quickly shot the men around him at point blank range.

Kolya pulled the knife out of Rodney's chest and he collapsed onto the floor and writhed in agony. He desperately pressed one hand against his side and the other over his chest, but blood continued to soak through his clothes as it flowed out of him into a pool on the floor.

Kolya turned around at the sound of the gunshots behind him and unholstered his own weapon as he calmly waited for Carson to finish.

Rodney opened his eyes to find out why he had not been knifed again. The glint of metal on the floor nearby caught his eye and he saw John's gun from earlier. He moved his trembling hand away from his chest and heaved himself along the floor as he continued to bleed and weaken.

Kolya was too preoccupied with Carson's antics to notice that Rodney had now got the gun in his hand and was struggling to lift it up to aim at the commander.

Carson was shaking in fear over what he had just done and staring down at the men around him he had killed. All the colour had drained out of his face and he dropped the gun out of his limp hand and it clattered onto the floor.

Kolya levelled his gun at Carson and fired a single shot after all the soldiers were lying dead around the physician's feet. The bullet struck Carson in the forehead and he fell backwards and did not get up again.

Rodney dug deeply into his reserves of strength to remain conscious and pulled the trigger. He shot Kolya in the back and the man staggered for a moment, but did not fall. Rodney gritted his teeth as blood flowed out of his mouth and he coughed harshly. He kept on firing bullets into the Genii in grim satisfaction even when the commander finally fell down and lay still. He continued to pull the trigger of his gun, but he had emptied the entire clip and it just kept clicking uselessly.

Rodney choked as more blood gushed up his throat and pressed his hand down more firmly against his side. Everyone on Atlantis in this reality was now dead and he would find no help here anymore. He needed to get through the archway or he would die. He was losing blood frighteningly quickly from the knife wounds, but he had no time to drag himself over to Carson's rucksack and get some bandages. He knew that any movement would likely cause him so much pain he would black out, but he had to get to the tablet and activate the archway with what little time he had left if he stood even a fraction of a chance at surviving.

He looked across the room at the gulf separating him from reaching the control panel and grimaced. It may as well have been a marathon to him it seemed so great a distance as he lay on the floor in agony and fear as he bled out.

He forced himself up onto all fours and clutched his side as he spat blood and weakly crawled across the floor.

He fell down before he reached the console and lay on his front and panted through the pain. He looked up at the console high above him and imagined the distance was like trying to climb a massive mountain without enough air to sustain him. He pushed the image aside and tried to visualise it as just another step forwards rather than the impossible task he had seen. He needed to act quickly as his body was shutting down on him and he could feel his heart fluttering rapidly in his chest as his blood pressure plummeted.

He grasped the edges of the panel and left gory trails of sticky red blood as he heaved himself upright and leant over the console. He swayed and picked up the tablet he had left there. His eyes closed and he felt a brief falling sensation.

He could no longer feel anything as he blearily typed away on the tablet clutched in his hands where he had landed on the floor. He lifted the lockouts around the lab. His weak grasp on the tablet failed as he was dragged backwards with a small cry.

The ice enveloped him briefly as he rolled through the portal and entered another reality.

Rodney lifted his incredibly heavy arm up and tapped his radio. He no longer cared who was in the new reality or who he called down. He only wanted to live and he knew he was now very close to death. He had no desire to die alone and unnoticed. He choked again and then raggedly whispered, "McKay to anyone… help me!"

His arm then flopped down by his side again and he blacked out.

* * *

TBC

_A/N – **voyfan7** and I had the same idea about this one! Also some of the whump in this chapter harks back to a challenge/conversation I had with **RodneyIsGodney** a little while ago about ways I hadn't hurt Rodney yet…_


	6. No More Heroes

_A/N - Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for the delay, but as you probably know, the site's been down for a few days..._

**_Chapter 6 – No More Heroes_**

Rodney narrowly opened his eyes as consciousness returned to him. He groaned and tried to curl up as the pain from the bleeding knife wounds in his chest and side asserted themselves. He coughed quietly and winced.

There was a man dressed in white kneeling next to him with his brow furrowed in sympathy. Rodney shivered and looked down at himself. Someone had unzipped his jacket and his shirt was pushed up to reveal the injuries to his abdomen and chest. Despite the sheer volume of blood he had already lost, there was still more for him to lose and it welled up out of the cuts and ran over his bare skin.

The man said soothingly, "Do not try to move, you are badly hurt."

Rodney glared at the man incredulously, but he was too weak to say anything or even contemplate any movement.

The man suddenly leant forwards and closed his eyes in concentration as he firmly laid his hands on Rodney's sides. Warmth spread over him and the pain diminished slightly. He then moved them up and pressed them against Rodney's ribcage and a similar sensation passed through his chest.

The man sat back and released a long breath. He looked down into Rodney's pain filled face and said sadly, "I know it still hurts, but the others refuse to come down here and help you. I am not as skilled as they are in the arts of healing, but I need to seal these wounds before I can move you."

Rodney tried to smile in thanks, but the sharp agony from the penetrating stab wounds to his body soon had him turning his face away and blinking the tears out of his eyes. He felt exhaustion trying to drag him under again.

The man said in alarm, "Oh, I am sorry, my manners! My name is Telan."

"Rodney," was all he could choke out in reply.

Telan rested a hand on Rodney's forehead and said, "I am also sorry about your treatment at the moment, Rodney. I am trying to build up your strength, but I have not been able to stop all the bleeding."

He pulled the edges of the jacket together over Rodney's prone form as he started to tremble and blood began oozing from the temporarily sealed cuts as they opened up again.

Telan cried in dismay, "Oh, this is ridiculous!" He then drew out a small radio from his belt and rested his other hand on Rodney's chest while he spoke. "Telan to Control."

"_This is Deliana,"_ a woman's voice replied.

"I know I have already asked, but I need your help!"

There was a short pause and a sigh over the radio, _"Telan, you have been told many times before that that room is off limits."_

Telan glanced down into Rodney's terrified eyes and gave him a reassuring look, "But a man has now come through the portal, like I have always said might happen. He is seriously injured and he needs the assistance of a superior healer or he will die."

"_That is not our concern, Telan. If he cannot be moved, there is nothing we can do. It is too dangerous to risk sending anyone down there. You are there against our wishes and your disregard for your own life is not our concern either."_

Rodney was getting weaker as he lost more precious blood and he was in a huge amount of pain. He was still able to grit his teeth and stay conscious though. He knew his only options were death or steely endurance.

He chose the difficult and agony filled path and opted for strength sapping and horrendous endurance. It would definitely kill him if he stayed there on the floor, even with Telan's method for temporarily patching him up. It did not last very long but it was enough for him to have a small hope for survival.

Rodney clenched his teeth as he released an involuntary whimper and moved one of his hands up in a massive feat of strength. He weakly wrapped his bloodstained hand around Telan's wrist as the man's hand remained against his chest.

He coughed again and blood was visible between his teeth and on his lips. He whispered, "Help me up."

Telan clicked the radio off in disgust and then his face was a mask of concern as he took hold of Rodney's hand, "But that would probably kill you."

Rodney gasped, "Dead… anyway…"

Telan nodded and gently squeezed Rodney's hand, "You are correct. I will give you as much of my own strength as I can spare."

"Why are you helping me?" Rodney gasped.

"You are the proof I need to finally carry on with my research and that it is worthwhile. If I let you die, then there will be no hope that I may continue. The others have spoken against me for such a long time now."

Rodney nodded and whispered, "Thank you."

Telan lifted the jacket away again and placed his hands on Rodney's bare skin next to each of the stab wounds in turn and screwed up his face. Rodney's pain lessened even further and almost full awareness returned to him. Telan's face was getting paler as he pressed his hands on Rodney's ribs and he kept going.

Rodney frowned and cried, "Stop, stop!" He desperately grabbed Telan's wrists and pried them away from himself in a stronger grip than he could ever have managed a moment ago. Telan released him and sat back on his heels and drew in shaky breaths.

Rodney said, "That's enough! Don't kill _yourself_, I only need to be able to walk."

Telan nodded and took Rodney's hand and pulled him upright. He tugged Rodney's shirt back down so that he was covered. McKay clenched his teeth together and rested his arm across his chest while Telan grabbed his hand and drew his other arm over his shoulders.

Rodney had a million questions flooding through his mind as he staggered along the corridor and pressed his hand against his side as he felt his hastily and poorly healed stab wounds tearing open again from his movements. He felt warm dampness spreading through the material and trickling down between his fingers.

Telan was breathing quickly, but when Rodney turned to look at him the colour had fully returned to his face. Rodney was relieved that the drain of his own healing did not seem to have had a permanent effect on his new friend.

He was far from out of danger though and he suddenly felt waves of dizziness washing over him and trying to drag him down to the floor again. He hissed through his teeth as he breathed heavily in the pain that was assailing his wracked body more severely than it ever had while he had been lying on the floor.

Telan sensed him flagging and pulled his arm down more firmly across his shoulders and held onto his waist more tightly. He said, "Just a few more steps, Rodney, and you will have all the help you require to heal your wounds.

When they reached the transporter, Rodney's legs gave out. Telan held onto him and lowered him down to the floor gently. Rodney closed his eyes as his breathing became ragged and difficult. He clutched his stomach and retched as the taste of the blood in his throat made him vomit. He groaned and coughed as he tilted his head back to rest it on the wall.

Telan quickly tapped the map on the wall and then they rematerialized in a different section.

Rodney furrowed his brow as his already considerable distress increased even more. His breaths became noisy and wheezed in his chest. He soon fell down and lay unmoving on his side. Telan crouched next to him and grabbed his radio.

"Telan to Control. I need those healers in section four! He has collapsed. I do not think he has a lot of time left, please hurry."

The same woman from earlier answered, _"Acknowledged. They are on their way to you now."_

Telan placed his hand on the side of Rodney's face and said, "Do not die. There are so many things I want to ask you."

Rodney narrowly opened his eyes and sucked in a rattling breath, as he spoke, blood dribbled from his mouth and ran across his cheek, "And I you."

He then closed his eyes and became unresponsive except for the shallow and jerky rise and fall of his chest as he stubbornly continued to breathe through the blood.

* * *

Rodney awoke to the sensation of soothing warmth in his chest. There was a gentle pressure over his heart, which lessened and then disappeared along with the heat. He kept his eyes closed as he trembled through cold due to blood loss. He winced as sharp pains shot through his side and chest and his suddenly rekindled senses made him aware of it.

A voice said, "Thank you. He is a lot better now. We may even be able to ask him some of our questions today."

Rodney was afraid after his treatment under the Genii with all _their_ questions. He lifted his arms up and rested them over his midsection. He felt tight bandages wrapped around himself and said in a small voice, "No questions."

He opened his eyes in fear and blinked to clear them. Telan was sitting next to him with a smile on his face. Rodney was lying on a bed in a room not unlike the infirmary in his own reality.

Telan asked, "Why not, Rodney? I am sure that you have many of your own." He seemed to be able to sense Rodney's unease and changed his tack, "I know, I shall let you ask yours first to show that we mean you know harm." He grinned happily and said, "Quite the opposite in fact!"

Rodney felt a sense of calm as he relaxed and for some reason he knew he was amongst friends and he would be safe in this reality. A thought suddenly came to him and he asked, "How are you able to do that?"

Telan replied, "I, like many of my people, have the ability to not only heal, but to read minds."

Rodney's eyes widened and he looked around nervously. He remembered all too well his own short term abilities and the constant noise of everyone else's thoughts invading him. Telan laughed and continued, "We are only allowed to use it for good and it is unacceptable for me to read anyone's mind without their permission."

Rodney frowned, "So you're all Ancients? But how come you've not ascended?"

Telan looked puzzled but he spoke good naturedly, "I am unsure what you mean, Rodney. Who are Ancients and what is ascension?"

"_You_ are Ancients!" He continued at Telan's blank look, "A technologically advanced, but often misguided people who built this city and the Stargates in my reality."

Telan's face fell briefly and his eyes flashed with a trace of anger before his expression became neutral.

Rodney quickly said, "Ascension is the peak of enlightenment." He scoffed, "It happens when a person becomes too lofty so that the body dies, but the spirit lives on, _apparently_." Even his own brush with near ascension did not make it any easier for him to accept and believe in it.

Telan continued to look at him blankly so Rodney continued, "Flashing white lights and stuff?" He mumbled, "It still just seems like a glorified way of dying to me." It seemed like none the Ancients in this reality had seen the light yet and they were still able to continue their experiments and explore the universe.

Telan was starting to look uncomfortable so Rodney hastily asked, "Uh, are you the only one with these powers? What happens when they become so strong your body starts to shut down?"

Telan looked around the room to make sure no one was in earshot, "When we reach adulthood our powers become apparent. They are never so strong that we die. I have a minor healing and mind reading ability. Deliana, who leads my people. is the most powerful mind reader, some say that she is the most powerful of all time."

Rodney muttered, "Like a whole load of superhero X-Men or something."

Telan looked confused briefly and then asked, "So what can you do, Rodney?"

He looked shocked as he saw how eager Telan's face was as he waited expectantly for an answer. Rodney said quietly, "I'm considered a genius in my reality and the smartest man from Earth."

Telan nodded in approval, "Excellent! That is a rare gift, but intelligence is highly prized here."

Rodney released a breath in relief. The sense of safety was still filling him and keeping him calm, but he now had a sinking sensation and suspicion that Telan was imprinting it on his mind somehow, even without his permission.

Telan indicated the door out into the corridor excitedly, "Deliana would like to meet you. I also need to discuss a proposition I have with her."

Rodney rubbed his belly and grimaced as it throbbed and smarted. He gasped, "I think I'd rather not move."

Telan shook his head, "The healers told me you will be completely better in a day or so and although movement will hurt a little, it will not slow down your recovery in any way."

Telan held out his hand and smiled, "Come on!"

Rodney reluctantly let himself be pulled out of the bed. His chest and side ached and pain tore through his fragile body as he straightened up. He closed his eyes tightly as he curled a hand around his side and flinched. He let his other arm hang down by his side as a horrendous tearing sting went through his chest.

Telan rested his hand on Rodney's back and the pain lessened until his breathing evened out and he was able to open his eyes and walk slowly. Telan went alongside him and offered reassurance with his presence as they headed up to the Gate Room.

* * *

When Rodney walked up the steps in the Gate Room his mouth opened in surprise. He turned to Telan and said, "We're in hyperspace? Are we in the Pegasus Galaxy?"

Several other Ancients were watching Rodney curiously, but they did not speak or come anywhere near him.

Telan said, "The Pegasus Galaxy?" He frowned and looked away, "Oh! I remember. But my ancestors left that galaxy millennia ago once it was fully explored and mapped. We are now moving onto the fifth galaxy to begin our next mission."

Rodney kept his hand on his side over the bandage concealing where he had been stabbed. He asked, "What about the Wraith?"

"Like in the bedtime stories?" He quickly continued when Rodney shot him a scathing look, "The old records say that they became extinct just before my ancestors left the Pegasus Galaxy."

"Huh," Rodney said incredulously. He then looked around the Gate Room at all the eyes critically examining him. He asked loudly, "I'm not an animal in a zoo! Which one of these gawping idiots is Deliana?"

A deep female voice spoke from behind Rodney, "I am." It made him jump and tremble in pain. Telan rubbed his back as he hunched over and scrunched his face up.

Deliana had a stern expression and glared at Rodney's back unmercifully.

Rodney suddenly cried out and lifted both of his hands up and clutched his head. Telan had to grab him under the arms to keep him upright. He turned to Deliana and said angrily, "No! It is not permitted. _We_ abide by the rules and you should too."

She released her grip on Rodney's shattered mind and said righteously, "_He_ is not one of us. The same rules do not apply."

Rodney continued to whimper as he pressed his fingers against his temples and Telan held him steady.

Deliana said, "It is strange that he had such a reaction, I barely touched him."

Telan patted Rodney's arm as he straightened up and his pale face was flushed from the recent bout of pain. Telan said, "He is not from this reality and he is not like us. You should be more careful or you could kill him."

Rodney mumbled, "Just pretend I'm not here."

Deliana glared at him, but did not probe his mind again. She looked down her nose at him and then spun around and stalked up the stairs towards the briefing room. Telan tilted his head at her as he looked at Rodney and they both followed her up the stairs.

Deliana did not even acknowledge Rodney was there as they took their seats on opposite sides of the table in the Briefing Room. Rodney had his hand against his side again and he only inhaled very shallow breaths to minimize the sting in his chest as his injuries healed. Telan drew his chair up right next to Rodney so that he could not only offer support, but catch him if he weakened and fell.

Deliana ignored Rodney completely and addressed Telan, "So, you were in the room with the archway again, despite my orders for no one to ever go there."

Telan looked away and said, "Yes, but only because no one else would. We are not in the habit of ignoring distress calls no matter the risk to ourselves when saving the person who has called for our aid."

"I know that and I also know that you have told me your research into the device is nearing completion."

Telan smiled and looked up at her. Rodney sat silently with his teeth gritted inside his closed mouth as Telan's focus shifted away from him and the pain intensified. The crushing fear and horror at his recent ordeal filled his weary mind with panic. His breath hitched and he furrowed his brow with his eyes narrowed.

Telan said, "That is correct. I now believe I have a way to control the device so that no one else will be lost from this reality. I have been working on an implant which can find the correct frequency of the person travelling through the archway. It is then able to locate the matching reality for that person. Even amongst the infinite number of possible realities it should be able to send them back."

Rodney temporarily blocked out the agony in his mind and body and said in hope, "So I'll be able to go home? How does it work?"

Deliana did not even look at him when he spoke and continued to glare at Telan.

He said to Rodney, "The implant emits a unique code, a reality marker if you like. A simple hand scanner can be calibrated to read it. The implant also detects the code for the current reality and channels that data to the scanner as well."

Deliana said, "I will not allow you to continue. There is too much of a risk that anyone who tries this will be lost forever like the man who just came through."

"I'm right here!" Rodney said indignantly.

Telan said, "I think he has been through enough. I also think we owe him a lot, he has become our responsibility and we should do everything in our power to send him home. After all, our ancestors created the device and it is now up to us to correct their mistakes."

Deliana looked at him coldly and then slowly nodded, "Alright. But I want you to come up with a way to destroy the device once he has gone through and is back in his own reality."

Telan smiled, "Okay. Thank you."

He turned to Rodney and grasped his shoulder and squeezed gently, "Come with me."

Rodney followed him out of the Briefing Room and drew up alongside Telan. He muttered, "How can she be the leader? She's…"

Telan hushed him with a look, "Not here."

They walked across the Gate Room and back into the transporter.

* * *

Rodney shivered as one of the healers unwrapped the bandages wound around his torso. He had his eyes closed as he sat on the edge of the bed and curled his hands into the sheets.

Telan was watching in concern and said to the injured man, "The implant much be placed somewhere where it will not cause you permanent harm and where it cannot be easily accessed and removed. I propose we place it in your forearm so that you will be able to scan it yourself without too much trouble."

Rodney said shakily, "Okay. I don't see that I really have a choice." He just wanted the nightmare to end, no matter what it took, so he gave his consent for the implant.

Rodney cracked his eyes open and examined his bare skin as the last of the bandaging was removed. He winced when he saw that the material was dark red in some areas where he had continued to bleed after it was applied. He ran his hand over the location of the stab wounds, but although the skin was red and angry, the injuries were nearly healed and it did not look like any scars would be left behind.

The healer came back and handed him a clean, white shirt. Rodney slowly tugged it over his head and then looked at Telan. He asked in fear and unconsciously rubbed his lower arm, "How will I get back to my own reality? It's all very well being able to see that I'm not in the right place, but one quick look around in every one I've visited so far and I already know it's completely wrong. I don't see how an implant is going to help me very much."

Telan smiled though and said excitedly, "Oh, but it will let you find your way home eventually. Every time you go through the archway and enter another reality it will be able to detect how close you are to correct one and gradually the reality markers will get closer and closer to a full match."

Rodney frowned, "Like a sentience of some kind? It learns and grows? How is that even possible?"

Telan's smile broadened, "We have had many more millennia to study the device and develop far more advanced technology than the ones you called the Ancients in your own reality. There are many things we can do which you have not seen."

The healer came back with a large needle. Rodney folded his arms over his chest protectively and shot Telan a hurt look. His voice shook as he asked, "Is that it?"

Telan nodded and did not seem to notice Rodney's fear. The healer beckoned one of his colleagues over and together they stretched out Rodney's arm. He looked away and closed his eyes.

One of the healers held his upper arm tightly and the other one jabbed the needle deeply into his forearm and expertly positioned it between the two bones. He pushed the plunger down and a tiny device was implanted into Rodney's arm. It latched onto one of the bones so that it did not shift.

McKay grimaced, but did not flinch even though he thought it should have hurt. The healers were skilled in their work and shielded him from any pain with their gentle touch and the numbing effect of their powers.

They pulled the needle out and Rodney's skin instantly knitted together and healed before he even lost a single drop of blood.

He glanced at them in shock and rubbed his arm, but he felt no pain.

Telan was grinning at him and pulled a scanner out of his belt and handed it to Rodney. He showed the scientist how to reconfigure it.

Rodney then held it against his arm and announced, "My marker is about six point eight million give or take a few hundred thousand. This reality is an even longer number I'm not even going to try and say."

Telan smiled at him and took the scanner away. He glanced down at the screen and tapped a few buttons. His face suddenly fell and he looked shocked and sad.

Rodney asked in fright, "What's wrong?"

Telan spun the scanner around to show him, but he told Rodney his findings anyway. "Your cells are beginning to break down. It may be a side effect from spending so long out of your own reality. Radiation and maybe just interaction and the food you have been eating are all combining to put a tremendous strain on your system."

Rodney felt fear clutching his heart and he asked in a squeaky voice, "So if I don't find a way back, I'm going to die anyway? That is if some crazy lunatic doesn't kill me first in one of the joyous alternate realities I pass through?"

Telan nodded at him grimly, "Yes. Haste is therefore very important for your survival. It may take a few hours for the device to completely calibrate to the next reality you arrive in. You may not be able to scan it immediately, so you'll need to wait."

Rodney smiled grimly as he followed Telan out of the infirmary. They went back down to the room with the archway that would lead him to the next horrendous reality and eventually take him home.

* * *

Telan handed Rodney a jacket and gun along with a bag full of supplies. Rodney clipped the belt around his waist and eyed the weapon in awe. It was white, just as the weapons he had seen inside the mass hallucination onboard the Aurora, but it seemed more elegant and had several different settings.

Telan briefed him in how it operated and then patted Rodney's back. The pain from his stab wounds had all but gone now, except for the occasional twinge if he sighed heavily or twisted his middle too much.

Telan assured him that the aching was only temporary, but Rodney had a more pressing issue with leaving before his cellular breakdown had a detrimental and tangible effect on him.

"Thanks for everything," Rodney said sincerely.

Telan smiled, "You are welcome, Rodney. Hopefully Deliana will be more receptive to my proposals after this incident. I have many other projects I am working on, but this has been the main one for a while now. The fact that the implant works as it does shows that it has been a success."

Rodney asked, "Will you work to find a way to destroy the device?"

Telan looked down at the floor guiltily, "Possibly. I will wait for a while until I am sure you are back in your reality. I believe that any changes I make here affect the archway in _every_ reality. Which is why it cannot be easily destroyed or altered."

A thought suddenly came to Rodney and he grimaced and looked down sadly as he asked, "Any idea why in every reality I visit I'm dead?"

"Hmm, it may be because the device is compensating for you somehow and trying to assist in returning you to the own reality. It sends you to realities where you are missing or indeed, dead, almost like it is trying to fill a gap in that reality."

Rodney rubbed his forehead and sighed softly. Telan furrowed his brow at Rodney's dejection and smiled kindly at the man as he spoke, "The implant should slowly begin to train the device to learn and adapt to your passage between the realities. I am confident that it will eventually send you home, so you will not have to worry for very much longer."

Rodney glanced at him and returned the expression bravely before his face fell again. He slowly walked over and stood close to the archway. He looked down at the ground fearfully as he wondered where he was going to end up next and if he would survive for long enough to make his way home.

After a few seconds he drew in a deep breath and said, "Okay. I'm ready."

Telan smiled, "Good luck."

"I need it," Rodney mumbled, just before he was snagged and pulled through the archway in a freezing blast.

* * *

TBC


	7. One More Night to Live

_Identity…_

_**Chapter 7 – One More Night to Live**_

Rodney sat with his back against the wall on the floor in the room with the archway and sighed. He had placed a torch on the ground next to him as the room was dark in this reality and the window was completely black. He had already been there for several hours and the tension over whether he was going to be found by the inhabitants of Atlantis at any moment was making him increasingly uneasy.

He picked up the hand scanner and pressed it against his arm. The screen lit up, but remained blank as the implant embedded inside him had still not been able to detect the frequency of the reality he was in. He placed the scanner down on the floor and picked up the half eaten wrapped food bar he had found in the bag the Ancients had given him.

At least he hoped it was food as he sniffed it to make sure there were no traces of citrus and took a bite. It had a meaty texture and was extremely chewy, but there was almost no taste at all. He swallowed and frowned in disgust.

After he had eaten the whole thing he felt full even though it had been fairly small. He shone his torch into the bag and noted that there were many more of them expertly crammed into the bag. He smiled, Telan had definitely been one of the kindest Ancients he had met or heard about.

After a several minutes he grabbed the scanner again and placed it near the implant once more. He waited for a few seconds and suddenly the readings appeared on the screen. He muttered in surprise, "Oh! Only a hundred realities short from my own one."

He wondered how large the differences in this reality would be as it was so close to his own. He decided to investigate rather than wait until the device had adapted for his passing and he thought it was safe to go through it again.

He held the torch higher, checked his gun holster and stepped out into the darkened corridor.

The nearest transporter was down, so he kept walking. He did not dare to use the Ancient radio he had been provided with. He had no desire to call down soldiers if he had once again been thrown into a hellish reality like before where everyone had only wanted to hurt and eventually kill him.

He retraced the steps he had made with his team on that fateful day when he had been in his own reality. He was unsure exactly how much time had passed since then due to his injuries and bouts of unconsciousness. He looked down at his feet and grimaced as he continued to walk. He thought of his team mates and wondered what they were doing. Were they looking for him? Or had they already abandoned all hope that he would ever return?

He sighed sadly and furrowed his brow. His thoughts soon turned to Jennifer. She had been absent in most of the realities and the one where she _had_ existed… Rodney shuddered as he remembered her blank gaze when she had looked at him in the infirmary.

He suddenly found that he missed her and the others in the aching hole of loneliness in his heart. Telan had shown him kindness as had most of the other Ancients, but it was not enough to fill the gap. Not that he was a stranger to being shunned and left to fend for himself. Since he had been on Atlantis though, he now realised in fear that he had come to depend on his growing friendships. He felt the emptiness inside himself more sharply than ever before.

Rodney soon came to an active transporter and taking his life into his hands, he tapped the display for the Gate Room. He held his breath and tensed up in anticipation for what he was going to find in the new version of Atlantis.

* * *

Rodney stepped out of the transporter and walked into the Gate Room. It was dark outside and judging by the few people in the room, it was after dinnertime and approaching mid evening. He looked around warily and silence descended as more people noticed him. He glanced around nervously and said as nonchalantly as he could, "Um, hello?"

Mr Woolsey had spotted him from the balcony to the Control Room. He frowned and his eyes widened in shock before he tapped his radio, "Dr Keller, please come to the Gate Room. Colonel Sheppard, Ronon, Teyla you may want to come too."

Rodney breathed a sigh of relief. Jennifer was alive and on Atlantis. Things still did not feel quite right though. Unless they had just been waiting for him all this time.

He smoothed out his white jacket uneasily and looked away from the staring faces as he felt them scrutinizing him. Mr Woolsey came over to him as he stood still in the middle of the Gate Room.

Rodney asked, "So, what's been going on around here?"

Woolsey stopped in front of him and folded his arms over his chest. He locked eyes with Rodney and seemed to weigh up what he was going to say very carefully before he spoke. "Dr McKay? How did you get here?

"You mean, 'How did I get back here?'" Rodney asked as his heart rate sped up in panic.

"No, I mean, how are you here?"

Rodney opened his mouth and rolled his eyes, "Oh, I'm dead in this reality too, aren't I?"

Woolsey, ever the diplomat, did not answer, but merely continued to watch him uncertainly.

There was a sound of approaching footsteps a few seconds later and Rodney turned to face them. He smiled as he saw the woman he had been thinking about, "Jennifer? What's going on?"

She dropped her bag and came to a dead stop when she heard his voice. Her mouth opened in shock and her face paled. She looked around at the other people gathered and asked shakily, "Is it a ghost?"

Rodney shook his head and then pulled the hem of his shirt as her eyes returned to him in terror. He released an involuntary nervous laugh at the scrutiny and said, "No, I'm real, although I can understand your assumption from the way I'm dressed." He turned to Woolsey and said sarcastically, "The Ancients sure are snazzy dressers. I can imagine them tearing up the catwalks in their fashionable gear."

Woolsey continued to stare at him, unsure what to do. He then turned to Jennifer and ignored Rodney while he spoke, "Dr Keller, I want you to do a full examination and tell us whether this is Dr McKay or not."

Rodney frowned unhappily and his voice rose as he said, "I'm not a Replicator or a clone if that's what you're thinking. I'm not dead and by the way you're all treating me, I'm still not back in the correct reality, am I?"

Jennifer steeled herself and walked up and stood next to him. She put her hand on his back gently and said shakily, "Come on, let's get you to the infirmary."

Rodney felt his skin warming under her hand and a blush crept across his face. He turned to her and said sincerely, "At least no-one's tried to kill me yet."

Jennifer pursed her lips and her breath hitched as she looked away from him. Rodney thought he saw a deep shadow sorrow pass across her face before she turned and concealed her expression.

Rodney met John, Teyla and Ronon halfway to the transporter. They all stood still in the corridor and Rodney smiled sheepishly at them as John stared at him in disbelief. Telya glared at him intensely and looked almost angry. Rodney felt like her eyes were burrowing under his skin. Ronon had his eyebrows raised, but none of them said anything

Rodney squirmed slightly and released himself from Jennifer's grasp so that he could fold his arms over his chest. He winced in retrospect, but the stab wounds no longer pained him.

Rodney asked in annoyance, "So, how _did_ I die in this reality?"

Jennifer rubbed her eyes and did not speak. Rodney could hear her soft breaths as she struggled to fight back her emotions.

John waved his hand in front of himself, "You've only been dead a couple of weeks. Neeva killed you."

Now Rodney understood the reactions of everyone around him and especially Jennifer. He was secretly proud of her for not breaking down. He knew he may well have done if she had died and come back to haunt him so soon afterwards.

He only released an, "Oh," as he remembered Neeva inside Jennifer's body as she very nearly pulled the trigger and shot him. He turned to Ronon and asked, "So you didn't get to me in time?"

Ronon shook his head and turned away. He mumbled, "No."

They continued to stand there in awkward silence for a few more seconds. Rodney twisted his hands together uncomfortably.

Teyla took in his appearance and narrowed her eyes. She asked, "Where did you get all that equipment, Rodney?"

John relaxed slightly and said, "Yes, it looks like you're an Ancient!"

Rodney nodded, "That's to be expected." He raised his chin superiorly and continued, "Considering I got all this stuff _from_ Ancients in another reality."

John whistled, "Cool."

Jennifer grasped Rodney's upper arm painfully tightly as she tugged him. She said, "We need to make sure you're alright before you answer any more questions."

Rodney allowed himself to be guided into the transporter with Jennifer and she said to his team mates, "I'll call you when I'm happy he's not a Replicator or something else…"

John narrowed his eyes, "We better come with you, just in case."

They all walked into the transporter and headed down to the infirmary.

* * *

Rodney flinched as Jennifer drew some blood. He cried indignantly, "I swear if you vampires takes any more of my blood, I'm going to go into shock!"

Ronon smirked from where he was standing with Teyla and John a short distance away. He turned to John and said, "It's McKay alright."

Teyla said, "I am inclined to agree, Ronon."

John's face remained neutral as he watched Jennifer sticking a plaster on the inside of Rodney's elbow and carrying away the blood sample. He folded his arms and said, "I think I'll wait and see first."

Jennifer came back a moment later and she struggled to control her expression as her eyes remained skilfully averted from Rodney's.

He looked at her in concern, "Maybe you should ask someone else to do this? I don't mind."

Jennifer shook her head, "No. I need to be sure myself." She looked up at him and as their eyes locked, Rodney drew in a sharp breath. The sheer volume and depth of emotion visible in her eyes astounded him and shook him to the core. She kept looking at him intensely and then pointed to a bed under the Ancient scanner on the other side of the infirmary. She said, "I need to run some scans."

He got up and walked over, then lay out on the bed as Jennifer activated the machine and the lights glided over his body. She had an excuse not to have to look at him as she studied the data.

She turned around and widened her eyes at him in shock. "What _happened_ to you?"

Rodney placed a hand on his chest and pressed. He then did the same to his side at the locations of his serious injuries. They were so recent that he could still remember the intense and sharp pain from the wounds almost as though they were still hurting him. He said quietly, "I got stabbed. It was probably only a few hours ago."

Jennifer visibly tensed up and pointed to the data on the scanner as she turned back to it. She translated, "There are still signs of the wounds to your chest and abdomen. Your blood pressure is quite low too. Not dangerously so or in any need of treatment, but I want… I'll _need_ to keep an eye on you."

She looked down at the ground at her mistake and inhaled a deep breath before she continued, "There's also a foreign object attached to one of the bones in your left forearm. I'm not sure what it is, I think I'm going to call Dr Zelenka to come and take a look."

Rodney shook his head and rubbed his arm, "No, it's alright. The Ancients gave it to me. I need to keep it so that I can find my way home."

Jennifer returned her eyes to the data and seemed to calm down while she concentrated and worked. She left Rodney lying on the bed and he placed his arms on his midsection and shifted slightly in impatience.

After a while John asked, "So, is this McKay or someone or something else."

Jennifer shrugged, "As far as I can tell, he's Rodney. Not _our_ Rodney, but definitely not a Replicator or clone."

Rodney sighed in relief and sat up on the bed. He swung his legs over the edge and Jennifer turned to him. She furrowed her brow and asked, "Are you in any pain?"

He frowned in confusion and answered, "Um, no. Why?"

"Because with the injuries still showing on the scanner, I wouldn't expect you to be up and about just yet."

"But the Ancients healed me!"

She indicated the scan of his chest on the screen and elaborated, "There is evidence of massive internal bleeding inside your abdomen and damaged lung tissue." She paused and frowned, "The Ancients healed your injuries?"

Rodney nodded. She rested her hand on his chest and gently pushed him back to lie under the scanner again, "Hold still."

The light ran over his body and he trembled slightly.

Jennifer exclaimed, "That's impossible!"

Rodney sat up quickly almost like her words had electrocuted him. His eyes darted between her and the screen and he asked in panic, "What?!"

She looked at him in a little fear and said incredulously, "Just in those few minutes between scans, the wounds have healed even further and your blood pressure has improved greatly."

Rodney muttered, "Telan did say it would take a few hours for them to fully heal after the treatment."

Jennifer squeezed his arm reassuringly and said, "I want to scan you again in a few more hours just to be sure, but I don't think you need to worry."

John came over and turned to Jennifer, "Can we ask our questions now?"

She nodded, "I'm going to analyse his blood sample." She looked at Rodney and said, "I want you back down here if you start to feel _any_ pain at all or any other symptoms."

John patted Rodney's back and smirked, "I reckon he will anyway, even if he doesn't."

Rodney scowled at John and for a moment he was back in his own reality and his worries vanished. He belonged and he was home. The feeling quickly vanished when he looked at Jennifer and saw her downcast eyes as she gazed down at the floor sadly and her hair hung around her face.

Rodney reached across and took hold of her hand. He rubbed his thumb over the back and said, "I will come back down. I promise."

He felt a twinge of sadness in his heart as he left her standing alone in the middle of the infirmary. He picked up the bag and belt given to him by the Ancients as he walked with the others and they headed up to the briefing room.

* * *

"Wow! You sure have been through hell and back, McKay." John said incredulously when Rodney finished recounting his tale to the people gathered in the briefing room. He told them of everything which had happened to him since he was sucked through the portal in his own reality.

He rubbed his side absent-mindedly as phantom pain from the cold metal of the stabbing knife tore through him again. He flinched and said, "Yes. But according to Telan if I don't find the correct reality, I'm going to die."

Teyla frowned, "How can you be sure of that? You said that this reality is very similar to your own. Are your cells still breaking down?"

Ronon mumbled, "Keller didn't say anything about it."

Woolsey leant forwards and critically examined everyone in the room. He said at length, "I think it would be better if you stayed here, Dr McKay. There is no guarantee that you will ever find your own reality again."

John narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "But if his cells are slowly breaking down, he'll die before he can get back."

Rodney nodded as his eyes widened in fear, "That sounds like a very bad way to go! As much as I want to stay here, I can't. My reality is still missing its McKay and this one has already lost its."

John grinned but furrowed his brow, "I suppose we didn't really take care of ours very well did we, Rodney?"

"No, not really."

Ronon was looking down sadly at his hands as they rested on the table in front of him. John soon frowned and his face also fell in grief.

He turned to Rodney and said, "It would only ever be our own selfishness that would want us to keep you here."

Woolsey opened his mouth indignantly, but John cut him off before he could say anything, "It's no good us holding you captive if you're going to die anyway. We already saw you die once and that's enough."

Woolsey closed his mouth, but shot John a dangerous look.

Teyla said quietly, "I do not want to see you suffer again, Rodney. I am just glad that you are still alive in another reality. I believe we can take comfort in that as we continue to live without you."

Woolsey clasped his hands together firmly as they sat in silence. He said, "Very well. It's useless us keeping you here against your will, Dr McKay. I would like Dr Keller to make sure you are medically fit before we let you go to the next reality."

Rodney smiled at him gratefully and pushed his chair back as he stood up.

John followed him out of the briefing room as he walked down the steps in the gate room. He drew up alongside as Rodney paused and looked around indecisively. He said, "I can set you up with some quarters if you want to sleep here tonight before you move onto the next reality?"

Rodney asked, "Are my old quarters still available?"

John nodded, "We only just shipped your stuff back to Earth."

"Oh!" Rodney stood still and looked down at his hands as they trembled slightly. He then fixed John with an expression filled with hope and said, "You know, I think I might check in with Jennifer before I turn in."

John patted Rodney's back and smiled knowingly as he said, "We'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, right?

"Sure. If I can eat anything this reality has to offer."

John chuckled as he watched Rodney heading over to the transporter. Rodney had a fleeting vision of him turning away from him with a smirk before the transporter door closed and then reopened just outside the infirmary.

* * *

Rodney found himself lying flat on his back under the scanner for the third time in the last few hours. Jennifer was examining his results with a small smile on her face. She announced, "Completely healed! That's amazing. We need some Ancients around here."

Rodney grinned up at her as he rested his arms by his sides and nervously fiddled with the sheet underneath.

She turned to look down at him more seriously and rested her hand on his shoulder as she spoke. "Your blood test results came back and you're right, your cells _are_ degrading, but not to such an extent that you need to worry about it for a few more days. But from what you said about Telan and the device in your arm, you should be home by then." She trailed off at the end and looked horrified.

"Jennifer?"

She shook her head as she grabbed his arm and then put her hand around his back unnecessarily to help him sit up. He stood and she continued to hold his forearm. Her hand slipped down and grasped his. She quickly let go and sighed before she turned away. She rubbed her forehead and said in a small voice, "Good night."

He nodded at her sadly when she glanced at him and then he walked away.

Rodney was halfway to the transporter when he felt something grabbing his upper arm. He spun around and saw that Jennifer had followed him and her fingers were curled around his arm.

She was holding him possessively, almost to reassure herself that he was solid and real. She turned him around in the corridor and pressed him against the wall with her hands on his chest. Rodney jumped in fright as she leant right in and her cheek brushed against his as she moved her lips next to his ear.

Rodney closed his eyes as the intoxicating and familiar scent of Jennifer entered his nose. His heart was pounding in his chest as she pinned him. She whispered, and even though she was so close to him, Rodney strained to hear her. "I loved you, Rodney. But you're dead. How can you be back here with me?"

Rodney felt her hands move down to his sides as she continued to hold him. He could feel his pulse quickening even more as she touched him, but it was partly in terror and a thrill of cold fear washed over him. He turned his head slightly and kissed her cheek affectionately.

Her breath hitched and Rodney soon felt tears running down her face and coming into contact with his skin. She moved her hands around his back and drew him into a tight hug. Rodney furrowed his brow as he wrapped his arms around her in return.

He rubbed her back and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Jennifer!"

She sobbed slightly as she cried and Rodney could only stand there in absolute shock at the reaction his death in this reality had caused. He felt himself being torn apart inside as a dilemma built up in his mind.

He did not belong in this reality. As Telan had told him, his cells would continue to break down the longer he stayed away from home. He did not want to leave Jennifer alone though. He turned slightly as she buried her face in his shoulder and continued to cry.

Rodney started to feel deepening discomfort and pried her away from himself. He kept hold of her shoulders as he watched her and felt horrible guilt as she looked into his eyes with her bloodshot ones. She gazed at him and even as she stood there, he saw more silent tears cascade down her face in torrents of sorrow.

She said shakily, "Stay here with me." Her voice continued to tremble in desperation, "I'm sure I could work out a way to stabilise the cell degradation."

Rodney looked away as he continued to hold her shoulders firmly. He suddenly had a fairly good idea what Carson felt like at every moment of every single day back in his own reality. Rodney felt like a complete outsider and like he did not really belong or deserve to be a part of the world around him. This realisation led him to his decision.

He said quietly, "I'm sorry. I can't." His heart felt like it was physically breaking inside as he told her. The look in her eyes passed through him like a searing flame and he furrowed his brow as he struggled to hide his shattered emotions.

Jennifer steeled herself and sniffed. She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve and gestured for him to leave first. It looked like she was fighting a valiant internal battle. Eventually she said in such an even and natural voice it made Rodney flinch, "Go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow."

Before he could reply, she pulled herself out of his grasp and ran away up the corridor. He sighed shakily and shook his head as the empathy he felt from her sadness intensified painfully inside him.

He quickly made his decision and jogged up the corridor after her. He called out, "Jennifer! Wait!"

He had to sprint to catch up with her and was breathing heavily as he grabbed her arm and stopped her. Her face was still shining with tears as she looked at him in confusion and panted.

He moved his hand down and squeezed hers as he leant in towards her. He hesitated for a moment as their breathing evened out. He then placed his mouth against hers in a kiss. She reached up and ran her hands through his hair and drew him closer as she eagerly returned the passion that he was giving her. She closed her eyes tightly and furrowed her brow as she pressed her lips firmly against his.

She broke the kiss and blinked the last of the tears away before she gave him a seductive look. Rodney was startled by the intense expression, but he soon smiled as she took his hand and led him towards the transporter without another word.

* * *

TBC


	8. And Ever Mourn This Day

**_Chapter 8 – And Ever Mourn This Day_**

Rodney awoke with a start. His heart was pounding in his chest and blood rushed past his ears noisily. Jennifer was lying next to him under the sheets and she had her arm resting on his belly. She spooned him from behind and held him close, even in sleep. Her legs were also entwined with his and his heart rate slowed down as he drew in a deep breath and felt the reassuring touch of her smooth skin against his.

He tried not to feel guilty about being with her as she was still the same person as his Jennifer. He had just been a lot luckier in his own reality. He closed his eyes, but did not really feel very tired any more after his initial shock upon waking up.

He looked across at the clock; it was 5am. He then glanced out of the window and saw the dawn breaking in a thin orange line of cloud close to the grey horizon.

He gently moved Jennifer's hand away from where it was pressed against him. He rolled over and kissed her forehead before he carefully untangled her limbs from his own so that he could move. She shifted and moaned, but did not wake.

He had no idea what had woken him up and he pushed back his half of the sheet and swung his legs over the side of the bed as he sat up. He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. He did not think it had not been a nightmare as he could not remember anything. He thought it had been more like a sound he had heard from somewhere; either in his head or externally to have shocked him so badly.

He had been in this reality for at least 12 hours, but he did not know how long he had spent in all the others due to being incapacitated for a lot of the time. Fear started to build in him as he wondered what would happen if he stayed where he was for too long.

As the panic made his breathing faster and his eyes widened, he started to feel a dull ache throughout his body. He could not pinpoint the source of the nagging pain, but it felt like it was in every part of him and pulsing from his very bones. He winced and bunched his hands into fists as he sat there nakedly and tried to keep as still as possible, praying that the pain would subside. He held his breath for a moment and then hissed through his teeth as he forced himself to stand up.

A voice suddenly came over the intercomm, "Dr McKay to the Control Room!"

He grabbed his headset from the bedside table and replied, "I'll be up in a few."

"What's going on?"

Rodney turned around and saw that Jennifer was looking at him sleepily as she pulled the sheet up to her chest.

"I'm not sure yet." Rodney replied as he hunted around the room for his clothes and hastily pulled them on.

Jennifer sighed and pushed away the covers. Rodney was puzzled until she gave him a knowing look, "Well, I'm not going to let you out of my sight just yet." She turned the lights on, gathered up her own clothes and put them on.

"Oh!" Rodney exclaimed as he leant over and picked up his shirt. A sharp pain had just shot through his abdomen and into his chest. It was not unlike the knife wounds he had recently received, but it kept getting worse and it soon radiated out from his centre and into his arms and legs. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as the burning sensation ramped up even more. He wrapped his arms around himself and trembled.

"What's wrong?"

Rodney hissed, "It hurts!"

She furrowed her brow at him and asked, "Where?"

"Everywhere!" He gasped, "It's like there's acid in my veins."

Jennifer watched him in concern and quickly came over. He was still holding his shirt in a bunched up fist, but the pain seemed to have peaked now and it had started to fade away.

He shook off her hands as they grasped his bare shoulders as he felt the horrible sensations from the assaulted nerves in his body being replaced by annoyance at his own helplessness to stop it. He was also quite sure that she would not be able to do anything to help him either.

He tugged the material over his head and smoothed it out. He clipped the gun belt the Ancients had given him around his waist and grabbed the bag of gear he had dropped on the floor in haste the evening before.

Jennifer rested her hand on Rodney's back and held his upper arm as she guided him over to the door. He could only look down at the ground miserably. She kept her own eyes straight ahead after they both left her quarters and were walking up the corridor towards the transporter.

Rodney suddenly stopped and turned to Jennifer. His pale face was sheened in sweat and he shivered. He then straightened up and his breathing evened out a little. He felt confusion as the aching pain subsided even further from moving, "I, uh, it doesn't hurt so much now. I don't know what it was."

Jennifer rubbed a circle on his back and said, "I think it's the first symptom of the cellular breakdown. I can give you some painkillers, but until I complete my research, you'll need to go into stasis."

"I need to get to the Control Room first." Rodney said as he fixed his eyes on the floor and hung his head down.

Jennifer suddenly planted both hands on his chest and shoved him backwards. He dropped his bag in shock just before he slammed into the wall with a dull thud and coughed. There was a loud bang as a shard of metal fell down from the ceiling and landed right where he had been standing only a moment ago.

He reached up and gingerly felt the back of his head where he had hit it. He then drew his hand down and rubbed his fingers together as he checked for blood. There was none, but he still grimaced.

He looked up at Jennifer with a hurt expression at first and then his eyes widened in shock when he saw the edge of the metal buried in the floor. Her mouth was open and she picked up his bag before she walked around the fallen piece of debris and grabbed his hand. She pulled him away from where he was slumped against the wall and tugged him into the transporter.

She said in alarm, "We need to hurry!"

He simply nodded and rubbed his head indignantly. He was too afraid over what had just happened and he did not say anything.

* * *

When Rodney and Jennifer reached the Gate Room in the transporter it immediately started sparking and smoking. A tendril of electricity shot out and narrowly missed Rodney as Jennifer pulled him back out of the way. It left a blackened scorch mark on the wall.

He grimaced and hastily dashed out of the small chamber before another bolt caught him. Jennifer kept hold of his hand briefly until they were both clear and then let go.

Rodney begrudged the loss of her reassuring touch for a fraction of a second, before a strip light on the wall he was passing fell down and struck him on the left side of his chest. It remained horizontally protruding from the wall.

He cried out and staggered backwards with his eyes closed under the force of the blow as he had walked right into the falling light. Jennifer frowned and wrapped her arm around his shoulders as she moved them both away from the obstruction, which was starting to crackle dangerously with energy.

Rodney winced and coughed. Jennifer held him firmly and asked, "What's going on? Why is Atlantis falling apart like this?"

Rodney opened his eyes and looked at her in sadness, he gasped, "I don't know." He drew his arm up and rested it over his chest as the breaths he took made him shake and furrow his brow. "Control Room."

Jennifer nodded, "We need to hurry and then you're going on a trip to the infirmary with me to check for fractures after that little mishap."

They quickly walked into the Gate Room and where halfway up the stairs to the Control Room when the one of the steps Rodney had just planted his foot on gave way. There was a loud cracking sound as the floor split in two where he had just tried to walk. He lost his balance and flailed his arms uselessly as he fell forwards and landed heavily.

He lay completely still for a few seconds and breathed through the pain of the fall as the sharp edges of the steps he had landed on dug into his already bruised ribs and added some new contusions to his arms and legs. His foot was caught where it had fallen through the shoddy Ancient workmanship.

Jennifer called out, "I need some assistance!"

Rodney felt her hands on his back. He muttered, "Oh, I hope you've got some Ancients handy to mend my broken bones."

She said evenly, "No, just me."

Rodney winced as he pulled his foot and worked it out of the hole in the steps. Jennifer tried to stop him, but he had soon freed himself and rolled over so that he could lessen the pain from the uncomfortable steps. He sat up and wrapped his arms around his chest.

The rest of Rodney's team were standing nearby, along with Radek and Woolsey.

John looked at the hole in the steps incredulously and said, "You know you're going to have to pay for that one, McKay."

Ronon, seeing that the scientist was alright, grunted and then mumbled, "Knew you should've stopped eating so much or something like this would happen."

Rodney looked at them with a hurt expression as his pain from their comments and his body started to make his eyes water.

Jennifer carefully removed his shoe and tested his right foot and ankle. She asked him a few questions while she worked. She frowned for a moment and then smiled, "As far as I can tell it's not broken but you've got a nasty sprain. I'll need to check it under the scanner to be sure."

A medical team arrived, but Rodney pushed them away as he remained seated and asked the gathered people, "Why did you call me here?"

Radek exchanged a glance with the others and then turned to Rodney with a serious expression. He said, "The city is not working properly. It makes no sense, there are malfunctions occurring which are too improbable and many are downright impossible."

Jennifer passed Rodney some painkillers and a bottle of water. He swallowed them while she wrapped a bandage securely around his ankle.

He looked at the hole in the floor and said, "Has it tried to kill anyone other than me yet?"

John shook his head, "Well… Zelenka first noticed a major power fluctuation close to Dr Keller's quarters. He fixed it, but then some of the lights and parts of ceiling fell down in the same section and around the Gate Room."

Rodney flinched just as Jennifer finished her work on his ankle. He furrowed his brow and asked, "Can't you stop it? It feels like Atlantis is trying to kill me!"

Radek replied, "No. I have tried, but it does not respond. The main visible malfunctions have only occurred around you so far, Rodney. There was another build up of energy in the conduits where you have just been, but we managed to siphon it away before it became dangerous."

Rodney nodded in gratitude, but his face fell as Radek continued, "We are unable to stop the falling lights and pieces of the city."

John cut in, "And breaking steps."

Radek muttered, "It is completely impossible!" He raised his hands up and rolled his eyes. "I cannot stop Atlantis breaking apart if I do not know what is causing it."

Ronon frowned at Rodney and then said, "Maybe this reality is trying to adjust for something, or indeed some_one_, who doesn't belong here."

Rodney grimaced, but agreed, "Yes, it's almost like this universe has become sentient and it's trying to get rid of the anomaly of me being alive when I was dead."

John raised his eyebrows and said, "So the whole universe is out to get you?"

He nodded and patted away Jennifer's hands with a grimace as she moved forwards to try and check his ribs. He complained, "I can breathe for now and the pain has diminished to a crushing vice around my chest, rather than the whole 'not being able to breathe at all' thing from a moment ago."

As Jennifer reached for him again, so he crossed his arms over his chest lightly and would not let her touch him. He knew that she would only hurt him further if he let her examine him for broken ribs. He had had enough pain over the last few days; almost more than he could stand. She pressed her lips together in a thin line and turned to the others for help.

"Let her help you, McKay!" John said, with a warning look.

Rodney's mouth turned down even further as he shook gently. He slowly lowered his arms, but as Jennifer moved in, the gate suddenly activated.

"Unscheduled offworld activation!" The technician called.

Woolsey walked up the stairs and Rodney stood up before Jennifer could stop him. He pulled his shoe back on with a hiss and limped after the others. He fisted his hands and gritted his teeth to stop himself from making any sounds which would concern her.

She said indignantly, "If you don't want my help…!" She then sighed in exasperation and followed them all. The medical team stood nearby looking bemused. She told them to return to the infirmary and that she would find a way to bring her stubborn patient down to them later. She kept hold of the medical kit they had brought.

Rodney smiled grimly at Jennifer when he turned around to look at her. He knew that he needed to leave or the city would find a way to kill him in some way or another. At the current rate of its attacks against him, it would not be very long before one of the improbable events got lucky.

The shield was not up and the technician shouted, "I can't raise it! No IDC!"

Rodney turned his back on the gate as he slowly made his way to the top of the steps. Jennifer suddenly ran at him and quickly grabbed his waist and urged him to move faster up into the Control Room. He could not bite back the whimper and audibly released it to everyone around him.

A moment later, as she positioned him behind the others in the Control Room and guided him down into a seat, he realised her need for haste. A Jumper had come through the gate and had landed on the floor in the Gate Room. The gate itself was still active and as he watched, several blue bolts flew through and exploded on the walls around the room.

Rodney flinched and covered his head with his arms as one of the blasts flew past and slammed into the control panel immediately behind him. He felt his skin smarting where the heat of the energy had burnt him slightly.

He winced and curled up in the chair as he leant forwards to dodge another blast almost deliberately aimed at only him.

He cried, "This is hopeless! I need to move to another reality before this one gets its way and kills me!"

Jennifer turned to him and furrowed her brow, "So there's no chance you could stay here now?"

"No. You're all in danger too the longer I stay here. If you put me in stasis to try and cure the cellular breakdown, there's no guarantee that it will correct the universe. And dying in that chamber probably won't be too fun."

He could imagine his body being liquefied or rapidly aging like a grim parody of Wraith feeding when the stasis chamber malfunctioned and finally smoothed out the Rodney McKay sized glitch it had found in the universe.

The gate shut down suddenly and not a moment too soon for Rodney who tried to make himself even smaller to avoid the shots, but had now reached the limit of how far he could double up and still keep on breathing. He closed his eyes as he straightened and Jennifer looked at him sadly.

Before she could speak, the Jumper powered up and flew forwards. It slammed into the steps and ploughed a deep furrow up the Ancient footway. The staircase shattered and crunched under the belly of the ship. The Jumper then smashed through the glass at the top of the stairs and shards rained outwards in a dazzling display in the early morning sun which had now risen above the horizon.

Rodney shielded his head along with the others, but he was pelted by tiny pieces of broken staircase churned up by the ship and grunted in pain as they hit him.

Jennifer was watching in shock as the pieces seemed to gravitate towards him and only the less hurtful pieces found her and the others.

Rodney had his mouth open and his face was tightly screwed up in abject terror and agony after the Jumper had finally passed.

Woolsey was barking commands into the radio and the technician was frantically carrying out his orders. Radek was sitting at one of the laptops, trying to figure out what had happened. He paused for a moment and turned to McKay.

"You are correct, Rodney. You must leave or the next impossible event may well kill you. I am glad to have seen you once more and good luck getting back to the reality where you belong."

Rodney smiled at him bravely and stood up on shaky legs. He had small cuts on his arms from the fragments, but nothing serious enough for him to need stitches. He limped over to the top of the stairs and Woolsey nodded at him with his face grim when he turned back.

He said goodbye to his team mates in a similar way as he had done previously. Except Ronon hugged him until he could hardly breath through the pain of his bruised chest. It felt strange as he knew he would probably see them all again. Although, he still felt sad when he saw their dejected and mournful faces just before he turned away and retrieved his bag from Jennifer, before she helped him down the half destroyed staircase. This only made him more apprehensive about what _her_ reaction was going to be when it came to the time that they had to part forever.

He shared one last look with John, but the Colonel was tensed up and had his jaw set in steel. Rodney did not think anything could have broken him at that moment.

He hobbled along and left the Gate Room. They eventually reached the transporter after what felt like an eternal, torturous ordeal to Rodney. He frowned as he looked inside the chamber and backed away slightly. Jennifer took advantage of his hesitation and grabbed his hand. She stretched out his arm and cleaned the cuts with a wipe from the medical kit. He drew in a sharp breath and squirmed to get away, but she held him fast, grabbed his other hand and did the same.

Rodney winced and narrowed his eyes when he saw the extent of the bruising on his bare arms underneath the blood as Jennifer expertly wiped it away.

He shuddered and finally freed himself from her grasp. He shot her a deeply hurt look and muttered, "You know you've actually made it worse now!" He pushed past her as she watched him sadly and stepped into the transporter.

Time was short and he knew he was risking his life using the transporter again, but then he also knew that the longer he stayed in the reality the less likely it was that he would survive.

He did not think he could make it down hundreds of steps on a sprained ankle and live to tell the tale anyway. Jennifer followed him inside and he tapped the control for as close to the archway room as he could.

* * *

Jennifer walked alongside Rodney to make sure he did not fall over as he limped on his damaged ankle. She was still carrying the medical kit and he had the bag he had received from the Ancients clutched in his hand. She had a frustrated expression which kept shifting to sadness whenever she looked across at him.

The transporter had not malfunctioned, although more lights had fallen down as they proceeded. She had managed to keep Rodney out from underneath the falling objects without causing him too much grief from his existing bruises.

Rodney looked up warily as they approached the door to the arch room. It was closed. He swept his hand over the sensor and as it opened, he felt rather than saw, a massive pressure wave approaching him. He inhaled a breath in shock, grabbed Jennifer's waist and turned her around so that she was shielded.

They were both knocked over by a strong blast of air which had come from the room where Rodney needed to go. Jennifer dropped her med kit and rolled away expertly. She quickly sat up and rubbed her elbow.

Rodney had not been so lucky and he had not had a chance to roll. He was slammed into the ground and absorbed the entire impact through his already painful arms and chest. His ears rung slightly from the sudden pressure change, but his hearing gradually returned as he lay sprawled on his front with his head turned sideways getting his breath back.

He coughed as he turned and flopped down onto his back. Jennifer crawled over to him and as he had his eyes closed he did not see her coming. She took advantage of his weakened state and pushed up his shirt so that she could finally check his ribs.

Rodney choked slightly as smoke came from the room. He narrowly opened his eyes so that he could monitor the corridor. He thought at least then he would be ready and see it coming when something else tried to eliminate him from this reality.

There was a dark purple line of bruising on the left side of Rodney's chest. He shivered and cringed in pain and screwed his eyes tightly closed as Jennifer felt along his ribcage.

She sat back on her heels when she had finished and said, "I can't feel any fractures. Although, you've got several bruised ribs which will be sore for a while. I can give you some painkillers to take with you through to the next reality. They should help with your ankle too."

Rodney opened his eyes as she pulled his shirt back down and gently smoothed it out over him with her hands. He drew in a slow breath and nodded, "Thanks."

Jennifer rested her hand on the side of his face and said, "I want you to promise me you'll get yourself properly checked in the next reality. Ask whoever is there to examine you under the scanner."

"I will. Help me up."

Jennifer took his hand as he reached up and leant back to pull him upright.

Rodney picked up the bag of Ancient gear he had dropped while Jennifer rummaged through her medical kit. She passed him a packet of tablets and some bandages for rebinding his ankle when necessary. Rodney grimaced, but packed them into his own bag anyway.

Jennifer left her med kit behind in the corridor as she followed Rodney into the room. The smoke had now cleared, but he was still cautious as he approached the control panel. There were some black marks on the floor, but no fires or energy blasts to show what had caused the minor explosion.

Before Rodney touched any of the controls he turned back to Jennifer and opened his mouth. He could find no words though, as she stared at him with her eyes shining. She rested a hand on her lower belly and then looked away from him in sadness.

Rodney put his bag down next to the console and went over to her unevenly as his painful ankle made walking properly difficult. He wrapped his arms around her and drew her in a closely as he could. He ignored the bruises on his chest as they flared red lines of pain through his whole ribcage. His breathing was ragged for a few seconds, but then he forced it to even out.

He would have liked nothing more than to stay with her in this reality as it was so close to the one he had lost. She moved her arms around his lower back and hugged him back.

Rodney still had no idea what to say to her and he knew if he did speak, it would be like walking on eggshells. He kept his silence as he did not want to see her cry again or the sorrowful look in her eyes as she gazed back at him.

Secretly though, he did not speak because he was unsure whether he would be able to control his own emotions. He knew it could very well be the last time he ever saw her as well. In all likelihood, he would die before he made it back to his own reality and never see her again.

She whispered, "Rodney, we never got the chance to…"

"Don't. Please don't, Jennifer," Rodney begged her in alarm.

She continued anyway, "…we just hadn't been together long enough for me to even think about it… obviously I stopped taking the pill when you died, but now… I really hope… I wish…"

Rodney was feeling increasingly confused at her hesitant speech and was a little surprised when she suddenly moved backwards and grasped his hand. She fully opened it out in both of hers and then placed his palm against her belly. She looked at him intensely, willing him to understand and then he suddenly realised what she meant.

"Oh, Jennifer! Last night!" Rodney was shocked at first, but then the bitter sadness he was feeling inside was lightened by the sense of calming happiness flooding him. He even found that he was able to smile at her.

She let go of him and placed both of her hands on his face as she drew him in for another passionate kiss. When their lips parted for a moment she said, "Thank you," and Rodney felt his knees getting weaker. He shifted onto his good ankle as she continued to kiss him.

Rodney suddenly heard an unnerving sound of tearing metal and he opened his eyes and saw the archway on the floor behind Jennifer tilting dangerously towards them. He parted their embrace and with Jennifer's help he half hopped to get away quickly enough. The arch crashed onto the floor where they had been standing only a moment ago.

Rodney said in panic, "I really need to leave now! This universe is unravelling around me and I can't hold it together any longer!"

Jennifer furrowed her brow and held his hand so tightly that he could feel the small bones grinding together. He winced and she firmly rested her hand on his side to hold him in place.

She pleaded, "Can't you reconsider?"

Rodney quickly blinked as his vision blurred for a moment and then he shook his head and said shakily, "If I stay here I'm fairly certain something is going to kill me and soon."

She nodded, but no tears fell from her eyes this time and her expression of sadness melted away into something so calm and neutral that it scared Rodney. She seemed to be dying inside as he watched her and he said, "I just don't belong here."

It did not help and she blinked slowly and then just stared at him blankly. Rodney shifted uncomfortably and flinched as he put his weight fully on his sprained ankle. This seemed to make something snap in Jennifer and she drew him into a final hug and said, "Alright. Good luck."

She then kissed him one last time and walked away. She then did the bravest thing Rodney had ever seen and something he knew he would never have been able to do it if he were in her shoes.

She turned around briefly, smiled at him and then left the room without any tears or any more words.

Rodney approached the console in shock and then rubbed his eyes until he saw white spots. He glanced at the archway as it lay flat on the ground, but he knew he was going to be pulled through when it activated no matter what orientation it was at.

He located the control he needed to give it enough power to activate and then slung the bag over his shoulders securely so that he did not lose it between realities. He activated the console and held his breath as he was pulled backwards.

He fell over and was dragged along the floor in a haze of pain radiating from his chest and ankle. He collided with the edge of the arch where it was on the ground and lost the breath he had been holding. The pull was so strong that he was yanked over the edge with a pained cry and through the fallen archway into the unknown once again.

* * *

TBC


	9. How The World Ends

**_Chapter 9 – How the World Ends_**

Rodney closed his eyes as he was expelled out of the archway at a terrifying speed when he arrived in the next reality. As it had been lying down on the ground, he had had no control over which portion of the arch he had been pulled through and it must have been somewhere near the top.

He held his breath and waited for the impact as he landed. But instead of smacking into a wall and breaking bones, he landed on something soft and yielding. It was completely pitch black in the room.

He did not have time to dig out his torch before a foul smell immediately filled his nostrils when he drew a shaky breath. It was a stench of rot and death and he groaned as he choked on the unpleasant smell assailing him. It was like the taste of ashes and dust in the back of his throat.

He gagged in disgust and valiantly fought to hold onto the contents of his stomach, but he failed. He rolled over onto all fours and vomited until he had nothing more to lose and his belly ached while he continued to retch with his throat burning.

The ground under his fingers was soft and his bout of sickness had not really done very much to alter the terrible smell in the room. It had certainly added an extra tang to the already unbearably obnoxious reek and Rodney groaned as he reached up and held his nose.

He crawled along blindly and his stomach muscles trembled when he tried to use them. The bruising on his chest was still hurting him and he could now feel another blunt impact pain on his upper arm from where he had hit the arch just before he found himself where he was.

Once he was sure he was clear of the mess he had made, he sat down and stretched out his legs, wincing when his sprained ankle pulled. He had to let go of his nose and breathed through his mouth while he took the bag off his shoulders and pulled out a torch. When he clicked it on, he clenched his teeth and his breathing sped up in panic.

The room was covered in a mass of purple and red tendrils, like a living organism. He would have thought he had been swallowed by a horrid creature if he had not known any better. He knew that he was on board a Wraith ship and the organic tendrils were just the disturbing way they powered their vessels.

He was seriously beginning to doubt that Telan's device in his left arm was working properly. He was still flitting through realities at random and no closer to home than he had been before he met the Ancients.

The tendril nearest to his right arm suddenly reared up and wrapped around his wrist tightly. Rodney pulled against it and tried to roll away, but more of them wrapped around his arm as he struggled. He considered standing up, but he looked down at his legs in horror and saw that they were completely covered in the same mass as the walls of the room.

"Oh, come _on!_ This is a stupid way to die after everything I've been through!" he yelled into the gloom.

He panicked and grabbed the Ancient weapon still in the holster around his waist. A nearby tendril made a grab for it as he waved it unsteadily in his left hand. He could no longer use his dominant hand as his right arm was completely wrapped. He gasped as it felt like he was being crushed by the tendrils.

He shot some of them, but they were quickly replaced. The Ancient weapon amazed him in its effectiveness and power. The searching tendrils were vaporized on impact, but the gun was not enough and he was too slow.

A tendril crawled up his back and snaked around his chest as he sat there. It suddenly tightened and before Rodney could do anything, he was yanked backwards into the seething mass and he could no longer move at all. He kept firing the gun blindly as his left arm was drawn down to his side, but one of the tendrils jabbed into his wrist and he cried out in pain as he was forced to let go of the weapon.

The torchlight was rapidly fading as more tendrils covered Rodney and made his breathing difficult. He twisted and squirmed but it only made them tighter and they crushed all the air out of his lungs and compressed him until it felt like he was going to bleed out internally from the pressure. He screwed up his face and the bite of the tendrils around him made his fearful trembling impossible to see.

He dimly wondered how the Wraith had managed to move the device onto one of their hive ships, but his train of thought was interrupted when the door behind him opened and the tendrils retreated. He was left shaking in fear and covered in horrid slime from the slippery conduits.

He lifted up his left arm and winced when he saw a deep puncture wound on his wrist. As he watched, blood flowed out of the hole and ran down his forearm. He turned around and saw several Wraith approaching him; one officer with two drones. The drones stayed by the door and aimed their stun guns at him as he lay there.

Rodney quickly pushed his fear and pain to one side and rolled over. He grabbed the fallen gun and drew the rucksack he had dropped over his shoulders again. He knew he would have to keep the bag close as his very life depended on it. He stood up to meet the Wraith head on and fight his way through them so that he could find a way to activate the archway and get out of this reality.

The Wraith officer glanced at the shifting floor briefly and a tendril suddenly shot up and drove all the way through Rodney's right forearm. He screamed and fell down to his knees. The gun slipped from his hand as his fingers relaxed when the tendril turned slightly between the bones in his arm. It landed with a soft noise on the gory carpet in the room. The floor crunched under the boots of the officer as he approached the stricken scientist.

Rodney did not notice what was happening though, as he was now trapped in his own world, which only consisted of agony and horror. He held onto his lower arm just above where the tendril was still stabbing him and whimpered. He felt merciless hands grabbing him and opened his watering eyes to watch in terror as the Wraith officer held his arm tightly and grabbed the tendril rammed through him. He wrenched the intrusion from Rodney's arm and he screamed again as blood poured from the wounds.

He would have fallen down, but the Wraith was still holding him upright by his damaged arm. The officer barked at his drones, "Hold the human."

Rodney felt more hands on him and he opened his eyes to watch them when his curiosity got the better of him. He also wanted to know what they were going to do to him. The officer cut away his bag with a small knife and retrieved the Ancient weapon he had dropped. Rodney glared at the Wraith and shook and winced when the knife caught his skin where the Wraith had not been very careful as he removed the bag.

He asked them, "And what are you going to do with that? I don't think there's a lot of call for painkillers, bandages and _proper_ food in Wraith circles."

The officer snarled and punched Rodney in the face as he uttered, "Silence, human."

Rodney grimaced as he felt a massive bruise forming on his cheekbone. He closed his eyes in misery, before he steeled himself and reopened them to stare at the officer who was rummaging through the contents of the bag. He was discarding objects onto the floor as he went through it. The drones still had a firm grip on Rodney's upper arms and he knew that struggling was hopeless and would only land him in more pain.

He said indignantly, "My name is Dr Rodney McKay."

The officer turned the bag upside down and the last of the contents fell. He growled in disgust and Rodney flinched when he rounded on him. His sharp teeth were bared and his whole face was in an expression of loathing as his eyes bored into Rodney's trembling form.

He spoke with a resentful bite, "Your artefacts are useless, human. But you still have one use for us."

Rodney started to pull against his captors as the Wraith's expression switched from anger to hunger. It was hopeless though and Rodney was already feeling weakened from the blood loss as he felt it streaming out of his arm and dripping onto the tendrils underneath.

The drones held him fast and the Wraith officer roared at him as he brought his hand back ready to feed. Rodney's eyes widened as he looked up at the palm of the Wraith's hand and then he turned his face away and waited to die.

Nothing happened though and after a few second he looked up to see that the officer was frowning at him angrily. He said, "You are lucky for now, human. _She_ would like to see you before you become our next meal."

Rodney was helpless to resist as the drones dragged him from the room and forced him along another purple and red organic Wraith ship corridor.

* * *

Rodney was shoved and pushed by the drones and he stumbled several times when he put his weight on his sprained ankle. He was gasping for every snatched breath he could labour into his lungs by the time they had been beamed halfway across the hive ship to the Queen's chamber.

The drones had to drag him into the room and dumped him under a thin beam of light coming down from the ceiling. Rodney collapsed onto the ground in a heap and held his bleeding arm over his chest as he clutched the exit wound on the other side. The drones pulled him up to his feet and he swayed a little, but managed to stay upright.

The officer was standing in front of them and bowed slightly as the Queen walked up to him out of the shadows. He said, "I brought the human as you asked."

She sneered at him, "Good. Now leave us."

The drones and the officer obeyed and Rodney was left alone with the Queen. He felt a terrible fear gripping his rapidly pounding heart and his blood rushed past his ears in time with every pump. The Queen circled around him and he followed her with his eyes, but did not say anything.

She then stopped behind him and asked, "How did you get here, human?"

Rodney answered indignantly, "Like I already told your goons, my name's Dr Rodney McKay."

She walked around in front of him and smiled nastily, her sharp teeth jutting from her mouth and saliva dribbling down her chin, "Alright then. How did you get here, Dr Rodney McKay?"

He thought it sounded even worse when she said his name. Every syllable was spat out with such vehemence that he winced and wished he had not insisted she called him by name. As for her question though, Rodney knew that he must not answer her. If he told them about the portal and how it worked they would want to go to other dimensions to cull all the humans who were yet to be touched by the Wraith. He would be providing them with an infinite food source and the chance to rain down misery upon countless other realities.

He clenched his teeth together and said nothing.

She frowned at him in annoyance and spat while she spoke, "You appeared on one of the lower decks of my ship, in an auxiliary junction room."

She then raised her hand up and Rodney saw the teeth in her palm which she used to feed. He was fairly certain he was about to feel what it was like to be fed upon by her and he flinched away. He nearly fell backwards, but the Queen suddenly curled her outstretched hand into a fist and Rodney was powerless to stop himself moving as she forced him to his knees with her mental control over him.

He grunted and she asked again, "How did you get on my ship?"

Rodney could not find anything to say to her, all his sarcasm lost in the fear coursing through his veins.

Rodney thought of all the horrendous torture they were probably going to inflict on him if he did not cooperate and he trembled violently in fear. He knew that he was bound to break very quickly in his weakened state, but he also knew that he held countless billions of lives in his hands and that he must not give into them no matter what they did to him.

The Queen placed her hand on the side of his face and stroked his skin while she gave him a seductive look. Rodney frowned at her incredulously as he watched more drool leaking from her mouth in hunger as she gazed at him.

She remarked, "Pity," and before Rodney could try and break away from the physical control she had over him, she planted her hand in the centre of his chest. His flimsy white shirt provided virtually no protection against her.

Rodney felt the painful bite of her hand on him just before his system was injected with the enzyme to keep him alive during the feeding process. For a brief moment he felt the all too familiar sense of bliss and strength flowing through him. It then vanished and all that he could do was scream and scream in excruciating pain and horror as she drained his life away.

The Queen suddenly stopped and Rodney was left panting as his last scream echoed around the room. He opened his eyes to look at her and she was looking back at him in shock with her eyes wide. It was as though she had suddenly realised something important.

She curled her fingers and then pressed her hand more firmly against Rodney's chest. He did not scream at all as she forced the years she had taken from him back into his body.

He opened his mouth and closed his eyes as his strength was returned to him. She did not stop there though, or maybe she was unable to prevent it, because as she gave him his life back she also unwittingly healed his many injuries.

She pulled her hand away once he was at the same age he had been and released him. Rodney fell down onto his back and rubbed his chest, but the marks from the feeding had also healed. He glanced down at himself and saw that there was blood around a tear in his shirt over the centre of his chest, but nothing more.

He groaned and shouted through his fear and fury, "What are you doing?" The Queen merely continued to stand over him looking down into his eyes in confusion.

She glanced away briefly and soon the drones and the officer from earlier came into Rodney's sightline from where he was sprawled out on his back.

She said, "Get a sample and then take him to the chamber. I do not want this human to go missing like the last ones."

The officer nodded and drew out a small knife. He crouched down next to Rodney as he eyed the blade fearfully and tried to roll away. The Queen held him down with her control and he could not move away in time to avoid the knife and the Wraith cut into the palm of his hand. Rodney flinched and shook as the Wraith collected some of his blood as it ran out of the cut into a small vial the Wraith held under his hand.

The drones once again pulled him upright, but Rodney shrugged them off with an annoyed sigh, "I can walk on my own, thanks!"

They still pushed him in the back to keep him moving and Rodney kept his hand over his heart where he had just been fed upon. He looked at the ground in all consuming terror over what he had just endured and hissed angrily when the drones shoved him onwards.

* * *

Rodney moaned as the drones slammed him onto his front on a slab like a table in the room they had just forced him into. His system was still in shock over the life drain and reanimation he had just been through. He felt weak and sick as he sweated and trembled. He knew John and Ronon had been through the same ordeal, but they had never told him how ill it had made them feel afterwards.

He felt so utterly wretched that he did not move in time as the drones grabbed his arms and tied them together under the table and he could no longer move. They then strapped his legs down and Rodney finally galvanized his senses and asked, "Hey! What's going on?" But it was too late for him to do anything.

He was not totally oblivious about what was going to happen to him next. He had managed to force the details out of Ronon after several days of asking his team mate as his curiosity got the better of him. However, he was unprepared for how much it was going to hurt as a different Wraith officer stood over him and stabbed a sharp blade into his upper back and sliced a deep cut.

Rodney could hear screaming again and he realised it was him after a few seconds. His throat was soon hoarse and his shouts became a lot quieter. If this is what Ronon had had to endure twice and with no anaesthetic, Rodney found his already high regard for the Satedan intensifying in pride. He focused on thoughts of his team mates as the Wraith walked away and he bunched his hands into fists and kept his eyes closed as he flinched and the agony in his back did not diminish.

He watched blearily with his head turned to the side as the Wraith came back with a device held in a medical instrument. Rodney squirmed to get away, but there was nothing he could do to move as the Wraith implanted the tracking device in his back and it latched onto his spine. The pain it caused sent him over the edge and he finally lost consciousness.

* * *

Rodney woke up lying curled up on the floor. He grimaced when he looked around and saw that he was still on the hive ship and in the Wraith Queen's chamber again. His back stung and made his eyes water. He closed them in misery as he rocked a little on the hard ground.

The Queen already knew he was awake and he heard her feet on the floor as she came over to him.

He looked up at her and asked, "Are you going to make me a runner? You do realise that you're wasting your time? I wouldn't last more than a few minutes and won't provide much entertainment for your needs."

She crouched down and stroked the side of his face again. Rodney flinched away from her touch and his lower lip trembled and he whimpered as it felt like his back was tearing open. She cooed down at him soothingly and smiled.

Rodney was feeling increasingly unnerved at her current behaviour and he asked, "If you're not making me a runner, then why _did_ you do it?"

"Even if you escape, we'll find you now, human."

She wiped away his tears and grinned at him, the gesture was lost on Rodney though as he had a horrid close up view of her rotten teeth. Her bad breath blew over him and he could not avoid inhaling some of it. He groaned in disgust and rolled away from her. He ignored the stabbing pains in his back as he stood up and squared his shoulders as best he could manage.

The Queen was no longer smiling and she pointed into the shadows. A drone came forward and held out the advanced Ancient gun Rodney had been given. His eyes darted to it nervously and she asked, "Where did you get this, human?"

His thoughts once again strayed to his team mates and he thought about what Sheppard would do in the situation he was currently in. He thought the man would crack a joke, but certainly not answer any of her questions.

Rodney shrugged and instantly regretted it. He gasped, "Disneyland."

The Queen nodded at the drone, who came over and smacked Rodney in the head. He staggered and held the side of his face as it smarted and started to bleed.

The Queen raised her hand at him again. Rodney flinched and struggled to control his emotions as all consuming terror flooded him and left his heart racing. The fact that he now knew what the feeding process felt like did nothing to alleviate his fears, it only intensified them until he shuddered.

She quickly pointed to an area of the room obscured by shadows and said, "It is utterly pointless not to answer, human. There is no longer anywhere for you to go even if you did manage to escape."

Rodney heart rate sped up even more and he stuttered, "Wh-what?"

The Queen tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at him and then walked away. A drone came over and grabbed Rodney's upper arms and guided him after the Queen.

Rodney's eyes adjusted to the darkness as soon as he was out from under the bright spotlight. They came to a door and as it slid open he gasped, "Oh, my god!"

Stretched out in front of him was not a Wraith hive ship as he had assumed, but it was the city of Atlantis. It had been completely taken over by Wraith organic technology and was barely recognisable as the purple skin covered the towers and piers of the city in front of him. He felt sadness and anger as he saw the once proud and beautiful structures of Atlantis in an unholy union of Wraith and Ancient design. He had loved the city from the moment he had first laid eyes on it and it cut him to see it corrupted in such a profane way.

The strange fusion reminded him of how Jennifer had been taken over by the Wraith entity trying to create a new ship. He wondered whether what had happened to Atlantis had been as a result of them not being able to stop the growth of the entity in this reality.

That was not the worst thing though, as he saw they were not only in space, but in orbit above a planet.

A _very_ familiar planet.

The Queen glared at him and then looked at the planet below. She motioned with her hand and spat, "See what has become of your world, human."

Rodney's stomach lurched and he could not raise his voice above a whisper as horror completely overwhelmed him, "Earth…"

The Queen turned back to him and was haloed by the bright clouds and oceans of Earth behind her as she said, "There is so little left of your race and home world, human, that it is pointless to resist."

Rodney was still staring in shock and his eyes gradually got used to being out on the balcony in space behind the shield of Atlantis. He soon noticed hundreds of hive ships swarming around the city and thousands of darts flying between the ships and the ravaged planet below.

The Queen continued, "Your race have been brought to their knees in a matter of months, human. They are still desperately trying to stand against us though. You are going to help us eliminate the last resistance of your kind."

Rodney's mouth was still hanging open and he was finding breathing difficult as he witnessed the bleak doom of mankind. It was the end of everything that he had fought and bled and struggled to protect since he had first arrived on Atlantis; since they had awakened the Wraith and the creatures had discovered the existence of Earth. He realised that all his work had been in vain in this reality and he grimly wondered at exactly what moment he had died in his past to bring about the nightmarish reality where he had been thrown.

He only managed to speak in a small voice, "How many?"

The Queen waved her hand nonchalantly, "Nearly all of them have now been culled."

Rodney furrowed his brow and lifted his chin in defiance, "Billions of lives! You do realise that if you had not culled the entire population in your greed that Earth could've become an infinitely renewable source of food for you!"

The Queen snarled and this time she hit him herself. She hammered her fist into Rodney's breastbone with such force that he was lucky she had not stopped his heart. He lost the air in his lungs in a cough, but the drone continued to hold him in a bruising grip, so that he could not stagger away from her or collapse.

He winced and rubbed his chest as she rounded on him and held her hand near the side of his head. The drone let go of his arms and moved away. The entire scene was still lit by the soft glow from Earth as the Queen once again forced Rodney to his knees.

He was completely paralysed by her and his anxiety over what she was going to do next left him gasping in terror.

She narrowed her eyes and a sharp knife of pain went into Rodney's head. He raised his hands involuntarily and pressed them against his face in agony. The Queen delved deeply into his mind and sifted through his memories as she glared at him intensely with her hand still raised. Rodney cowered and shielded his head as best he could, but it was no defence against her probing as she continued to violate his mind.

To Rodney it felt like there were claws imbedded in him as she intruded inside his head. He was reaching the limit of his endurance and he could feel his veneer of strength cracking and breaking under the stress. His utterly exhausted and worn down mind and body were hopelessly vulnerable to the Queen. She took advantage of this by digging even deeper and finding out as much as she could before he was too badly damaged to continue.

Rodney felt trickles running down from his ears and he came to realise in the everlasting pain that he just wanted to get home and forget about all the bloodshed, horror and misery his death in every reality he had seen brought about.

The Queen suddenly released him and Rodney collapsed and shuddered as he continued to hold his head. He felt something tickling him just beneath his nose and he rubbed his hand against it and felt dampness. He narrowly opened his eyes and glanced at the palm of his uncut hand. There was something shining darkly on his skin. He could not see the colour clearly in the dim light, but he knew it was his blood. The Queen had assaulted him so badly that the strain had made his nose and ears bleed.

He tried to shout at her indignantly but he only managed to croak weakly, "Genius here. I do actually need my brain intact if I'm going to be of any use at all and not turn into some gibbering moron like the people I used to work with."

The Queen said, "I know. In fact I now know everything about you, Rodney McKay, and the device you came through from another reality."

Rodney rolled onto his back and continued to clutch his head as his angry headache did not abate no matter how hard he pressed his fingers into his temples in agony. He hoped that she had not scrambled his precious brain, but he winced when he thought that she may well have done and made him totally useless to anyone.

She crouched down next to him and placed her hand on his forehead, "I do still need you though. Why do you think I stopped and gave you back your life earlier?"

"Maybe I wasn't very tasty?" Rodney said tiredly.

She rested the back of her hand on his cheek and he shivered as she lightly brushed his skin in a gesture too close to affection for Rodney's nerves. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

She said sweetly, "No. It is because you are like the ones who created us and you can power the few systems left in this city that will not allow the Wraith to operate them."

"What's the point?" he asked miserably as he felt weariness overcoming him. "Earth's gone and you've killed everyone."

She leant in closely to him and her fetid and rotten breath flooded Rodney's nose again. He shuddered as he lay there and said shakily, "You know you should visit a dentist or at least drink more water."

Her reaction was instant and furious. She raked her claws down his chest, carving deep lacerations across his skin and leaving a trail of blood. Rodney cried out in shock and rolled over. He curled into a tight ball and put his arms in front of his chest as the agony registered in his fragile mind and the remains of his tattered white shirt soaked red. It was too painful for him to consider touching the cuts to try and stop the bleeding so all that he could do was lie there and whimper.

The Queen straightened up and said, "Take him to the holding chamber and make sure he does not die from his injuries."

The drone nodded and grabbed Rodney's wrist. He dragged the scientist along the floor and back through the door into the Queen's chamber. A trail of blood was left in Rodney's wake as it flowed out of the cuts and smeared along the floor behind him. He closed his eyes and was soon rewarded with unawareness as his broken mind finally gave out on him.

* * *

There was a feeling of tightness around Rodney's ribcage when he woke up after his recent blissful unawareness. As he returned to consciousness, he felt pain flaring across his chest and his head throbbed angrily in a headache he knew would not be going away any time soon. He was lying on a table again, but he was on his back and not restrained.

He turned his head to the side and flinched in shock when he saw various medical instruments laid out nearby like in a medieval torture chamber. He lifted up his hand and gently felt his chest. He winced, but the Wraith had removed his shirt and wrapped a bandage around his ribcage so that at least he would not bleed to death from the wounds on his chest.

He felt cold as cool air flowed over his bare skin and made him shiver. He wrapped his arms around himself to conserve what little body heat he could after his blood loss.

He was curious as to why they had not spared him a little of their healing power, but then he knew that they probably just wanted to make sure he suffered so that it would make him easier to bend to their will.

He lay completely still and listened to his hitching breaths in the virtual silence of the room he was in. He could barely hear the hum of the Lantean power conduits behind the walls as the Wraith technology was covering everything and muffling any sound they made.

He suddenly decided that he would fight against them with all his might as they had destroyed Earth. It may not be his reality, but he no longer cared. He felt a righteous anger and desire for vengeance building in his heart and the fire it created coursed through his veins and brought strength back to his flagging spirit.

He gritted his teeth and sat upright with a small whimper as he expected to feel a tearing sensation across his chest when the lacerations were opened up again due to him moving.

He did not feel anything other than a slight pull and as he sat up, he noticed that there were the remains of a suture kit near the tray of medical instruments. Someone had properly patched him up and made sure that he did not die. He frowned in curiosity and glanced around the empty room to make sure that he was definitely alone.

The door was shut and he stood up on his unwilling legs and stumbled over to it. He knew he would be able to break whatever lock the Wraith had in place so he lifted his trembling hand towards the control panel to find some loose wiring to work on. He was promptly zapped by a bolt of electricity as his fingers connected with a shield. He sighed as he drew in shallow breaths to minimize the burning pain across his skin with every expansion of his ribcage.

He furrowed his brow as he curled his smarting hand against his chest and walked back across the room to a control console behind the table where he had woken up. His eyes widened in shock when he realised it was an old Atlantis control panel. He glanced around the room and muttered, "Well the dimensions are the same, as is the rough shape of the room."

He realised he was in one of the many Ancient labs on Atlantis. He raised his eyebrows at the tray of medical instruments left behind and went over and grabbed a saw. He made short work of the Wraith tendrils covering the console as he cut through and removed them from the panel he wanted to access.

He smiled as he tapped away on the control panel and went into the Lantean mainframe. He frowned when his current access codes would not work and tried all of those he could remember. He eventually managed to get in with the code he had been using just over a year ago.

He asked the console rhetorically, "How _did_ I die in this reality?"

He soon found that a lot of the system files were corrupted, but he was able to find a few that were easy to access. It appeared that the Wraith had yet to devise a method for keeping genius scientists at bay, as Rodney quickly hacked his way through their ineffectual lockouts.

He soon found the system he wanted and set his plan in motion. He would make the Wraith who had stolen Atlantis in this reality pay for what they had done, even if he died in the process along with them.

The door to the lab suddenly slid open and Rodney jumped. He watched the corridor beyond in expectation, but no one came through. He reasoned that they may well be toying with him, but they were right, he had nowhere to go. He did not think they would have left the arch room unguarded, as the Queen now knew his sole purpose was to get back there so that he could escape the hellish reality where he had become trapped.

Rodney did not really feel like wandering around the Wraith infested Atlantis with only a flimsy bandage wrapped around his torso as he was starting to lose the feeling in his fingers due to the cold.

He looked around the room more thoroughly and spotted a very well hidden cupboard which was covered in more disgusting tendrils. He walked over and opened the door. Inside there were blankets as well as some other clothes. He grabbed a shirt from the stack inside and as he pulled it out, a couple of things fell out onto the floor with a clatter.

He looked down at them and his eyes widened as he wondered exactly who was helping him. His eyes darted around the room nervously, half expecting to feel hands grabbing him, but it was still empty. He hastily pulled the shirt over his head and then grabbed two more and put them on as well to shield himself as best he could from the cold. He then scooped up the Wraith stunner and Ancient hand scanner which had fallen from the cupboard. He tucked the gun into the waistband of his trousers so that it was concealed against the small of his back.

He held the scanner out in front of himself and spun around. There were many life signs showing on the screen, but none in his immediate vicinity. Whoever was helping him was really good, he decided.

He cautiously headed out into the corridor and kept the scanner in his hand while he drew the stunner and held it up ready to fire at a moment's notice.

The scanner suddenly chirped and Rodney levelled it in front of himself in alarm to see what it had picked up.

It was a message though and not a warning. As he read it, his eyebrows rose.

_This is the resistance. We have spies everywhere. Even amongst the Wraith. We know you are capable of destroying the Wraith capital ship so we helped you. Set the self destruct for five minutes and we will clear a path for you._

Rodney muttered, "Way ahead of you there," and typed an affirmative reply.

He was curious over exactly who was communicating with him. Not many people in his reality would have been able to bypass the Wraith jamming devices and monitor the video and audio feeds on Atlantis. He typed his query into the scanner and then continued to walk along the corridor while he waited for a reply.

He sighed sadly as he read the incoming message

_We cannot tell you who we are or how we operate in case you are captured again. Just know that there are a lot of us left._

Rodney then smiled grimly. At least some of the people on Earth were still alive and fighting back. He was unsure how much longer it would be before the Wraith found them and he was fairly certain that they would. If he could eliminate Atlantis and tear it from the Wraith's grasp it would at least be a start.

He stepped into the transporter and held his stunner ready as he shoved aside the tendrils and tapped the map concealed underneath.

* * *

"I thought you were going to take care of them!" Rodney ground out to the scanner clutched in his hand as another stunner blast flew past his hiding place.

He moved his gun around the wall where he was sitting on the floor and fired a few blind shots before drawing it back again. He looked down at the scanner in fear as he watched some of the life signs trying to blindside him.

He shot three of the drones before they had a chance to react, but the fourth one fired a bolt into the wall above Rodney's head before he was able to shoot it. One of the tendrils broke and slammed down onto Rodney's shoulder.

He grunted and tried to ignore the pain in his collar bone when he lifted the scanner up to check it once more. The life signs were converging on his position and he stood no chance against them; there were just too many for a lone injured scientist with only a stunner to cope with.

He shook the scanner again and muttered, "Why aren't you helping me!?"

It seemed to have heard him and another message appeared.

_Set the self destruct and we will assist you._

"Oh, uh, okay." Rodney switched it back to a life signs detector and watched the Wraith approaching.

He only had a few seconds before they reached him, which should be enough time. He frantically tapped on the tiny screen and interfaced it with the Lantean mainframe. He then set his previously written code to activate and set the power system overload to countdown for five minutes.

When it finished the ZPM powering the city would explode and destroy Atlantis along with any Wraith hive ships in the vicinity. He had hidden the subroutine so deeply, that the Wraith would never have time to act even if they did find it. He had also encrypted it with an algorithm he thought even Zelenka would have trouble with.

He pressed the button on the scanner and turned it back into a life signs detector. He then glanced at the screen in apprehension while he waited to either be shot or saved.

Rodney waited and waited. He raised his stunner ready for a last stand and as the first Wraith came around the corner and levelled his gun at the scientist, he suddenly vanished in a cloud of white stars.

Rodney blinked in shock and then glanced at the scanner quickly. All the Wraith life signs had just disappeared. He whispered, "An Asgard beam? How did they do that?"

He looked down at the scanner again and saw that he only had a couple of minutes left before the overload was going to kill him at the same time as destroying the city. He would have to live with his questions, but he could not help the theories which went through his mind as he dashed along the corridor towards the archway room.

Perhaps the Daedalus was nearby? Maybe they had found a way to cloak the ship using a Puddle Jumper cloaking device? Or the resistance could punch through the Wraith jamming with an Asgard beam just as they could send messages and hack into the systems?

He thought the most likely scenario was that a member of the resistance had made their way onto Atlantis with an Asgard beaming device and was coordinating the whole effort from there.

He suddenly felt sad that if there was truly a free human still alive on Atlantis, they were about to die when the city was destroyed. A small price to pay for the countless millions who were already dead, but a single human life was now a rare commodity after the Wraith had all but wiped them out and needed to be protected and cherished. Rodney had no choice in the matter though, as he continued to run for his life.

When he reached the doorway he fired at the tendrils and cleared a path towards the control panel he needed to get to. It was so well concealed that it was no wonder that he had not realised that he was in fact still on Atlantis and not on a hive ship as he had assumed at first.

He pulled the power cell from the stunner and inserted it into the control panel as the countdown showing on the scanner reached single figures. He feverishly hooked it up so that the console suddenly lit up.

He actually helped the pull from the archway snag him this time as he ran unsteadily along the tendril strewn floor and dived headfirst through the portal.

He knew he was going to be in trouble on the other side due to his momentum, but he would rather not get vaporised.

He kept hold of the scanner as he passed through and it reached zero a fraction of a second after he was clear.

He knew it would take them a long time to find the arch in the debris of Atlantis. That was if they ever found it. There was a chance it would fall to Earth and land in the ocean where it would be virtually impossible to find.

It would take them even longer to figure out what it was and how to operate it.

Rodney just hoped that Telan was still working on a way to destroy the device in every reality. Even if Rodney got stranded in some horror laden reality, he would just be glad to know that the ever powerful Wraith of his latest reality would never get their hands on Earth again.

* * *

TBC


	10. Falling Into Ice

_A/N – Thanks to__** RodneyIsGodney, **__who inspired this reality with a certain photo she posted on the GW Forum while my mind was in a receptive mood…_

_**Chapter 10 – Falling Into Ice**_

Rodney flew from the archway into the next reality. Except he did not fall like he expected and the cold sensation did not dissipate as it had done after every shift. He opened his eyes when his stomach lurched horribly due to a familiar sensation he had hoped never to feel again.

He was completely weightless and floating at an alarming speed towards a looming wall. He had a brief glimpse of stars as they flitted past his vision when he glided past the window.

He released a breath he did not even realise he had been holding in a mist of fog in the frigid air and started to shiver uncontrollably as the cold rapidly seeped through the thin material of the shirts covering him. He breathed in and then out in a shallow airless gasp containing nothing that could possibly sustain him for very much longer.

The fear from the fact that he could not breathe properly only made it more difficult for him to get enough air to fight down the panicked fluttering of his heart against his ribs and remain conscious.

Although, he had a more urgent need not to slam into the wall still approaching him, so he rapidly turned in the air so that his feet were pointing towards it. His belly protested as a wave of nausea enveloped him in the weightlessness. There was nothing in his stomach for him to lose, except hunger, so he swallowed quickly and braced himself for the impact.

His legs bent at the knee when he hit the wall, almost like he had just jumped from a great height in normal gravity. He could not prevent it as he pitched forwards and let go of the scanner. He had still had the device clutched in his violently trembling and numb fingers, but it floated away when he lifted his hands up to save his head from smacking into the wall.

The muscles across his chest tightened as his arms finally managed to stop his momentum. Rodney whimpered softly as his back wrenched around the site of the tracker implant and he tore some of the stitches holding the skin over his chest together.

He recoiled and soon drifted backwards away from the wall. He grabbed at the scanner as it spun around end over end in the room. He held it close to his body as he closed his eyes and wheezed in what little oxygen had been pressure sealed in the room when Atlantis' power had finally been depleted.

The starlight from the tiny window cast a ghostly hue on the whole room and Rodney welcomed the weightlessness, but not the crushing cold which had now completely numbed the pain from his cuts and the bruising ache from his shoulder.

He inhaled a shaky breath and glanced blearily at the starry void outside Atlantis in the reality where he had been thrown. He dimly wondered why he was not just an instant block of ice.

"Freeze dried, McKay," he muttered, starting to become delirious as the cold clutched his heart and he continued to float backwards limply.

He looked in front of himself and watched as a trail of blood hovered in the thin air pocket of the gravity lacking room, marking his path away from the wall he had hit.

"Hmm," he sighed in disinterest as his senses started to fail and his eyes slid shut.

Another violent and involuntary tremble made Rodney open his eyes again. It was a difficult task, as it felt like his eyelashes were glued together with ice. He licked the frost off his lips and muttered shakily, "Come on, McKay…just a few more seconds and you'll be back on a nice warm version of Atlantis, surrounded by the wonders the many universes can throw at you…"

He spun in the air again and coughed, but there was no pain as more blood leaked out of his slashed chest and floated into the air in gory dark red bubbles. He could no longer feel his fingers, but the scanner was still in his hand when he passed under the arch and then collided with the control console.

He held onto the small panel as tightly as he could, but he could no longer feel the touch of the metal or the buttons beneath his fingers as he tried to activate the arch to get himself out of the cold and virtually airless room. He blinked slowly and grimaced as his hands shook uncontrollably and made any dextrous work impossible.

He fumbled with the scanner when no power was forthcoming and pulled the panel off the back, using his fingernails to claw underneath the device and get at the internal workings and crystals.

His latest inhalation rattled in his chest and his rasping breaths were still not providing his brain with enough air. He felt a light-headed weariness overcoming him and he started hyperventilating in panic as he seemed to use up the last of the trapped air to sustain himself. He gritted his teeth, but they soon unclenched and chattered together so badly that every bite echoed unpleasantly in his head.

He desperately pried the power crystal from the scanner. He knew he needed the tiny device to survive what the cruel hand of the multiple universes had deemed it would throw at Rodney McKay next time.

The most pressing issue at the moment was just finding some air and warmth, so he pushed the crystal into the control panel and powered up the arch.

Rodney had a fleeting view of the current condition of Atlantis just before he was sucked backwards still in mid air. He wrapped his arms around his chest as he flew and furrowed his brow in confusion over what he had just seen.

What was left of Atlantis in this reality was badly damaged due to asteroid impacts. It was also on a collision course with a nearby sun. He dimly thought that was probably why he had not been turned into an instant ice-lolly.

He no longer had any more time to think about it as he was suddenly surrounded by light and pulled through the arch once more.

* * *

Rodney rolled out onto the floor and felt like he had been tossed into the middle of the Sahara Desert, the room was so hot.

He closed his eyes tightly as he winced and continued to shiver, but his breathing was a little easier as the air was now laced with sweet oxygen. The sensation rapidly came back to his chilled appendages with a vengeance. He groaned as his eyes started to water in pain as the sting from his chest built up and tore into him as his nerves came back to life.

He rolled onto his side and pressed his hands against his chest as the tremors from the cold went away and were replaced by those caused by pain.

He turned over onto his back again after a few agonising minutes and continued to hold his arms over his chest to try and soothe the ceaseless sharp feeling of the Wraith Queen claw marks.

He gazed up at the ceiling in the dimly lit arch room and felt another biting and nagging feeling in between his shoulders from the way the Wraith had cut through his delicate skin and forced their barbaric technology inside him.

He rubbed his left arm without realising it and mumbled, "Now I'm fully trackable, by both the Wraith _and_ the Ancients."

He steeled his nerves, rolled over onto all fours and pushed himself up with a grunt. "Okay, that's enough of that, time to find out about this fun, new place."

He grimaced when he saw a little of his own blood smeared on the floor where he had just been lying. He was unsure whether it had come from his back or chest, but whichever it was, he knew it was not good news.

Rodney staggered over to the control panel to try and get some more information, but before he reached it, the door to the room suddenly opened.

"Who, Who's there?" Rodney asked as his weakly pounding heart sped up even further and white lights tinged the edges of his vision.

Two heavily armed marines came in and swept their eyes and guns around the room rapidly. The torchlight from the weapons passed across Rodney's face and blinded him. He flinched as he raised his hands up and called out, "Don't shoot!"

The marines kept their guns pointing at him and one of them shouted back towards the open door, "Clear!"

Another man entered the room and Rodney lowered his hands down in shock. The marines shifted and tightened their grips on the guns warily and continued to point them at his chest as he whispered in shock, "Lieutenant Ford?"

Ford looked at him, but had not raised his own gun where it remained strapped to the front of his tac vest, "Lieutenant? I've been a Major for a few years now."

Rodney smiled, "Major Ford! Wow, this _is_ a strange reality."

Ford frowned in confusion and took a step forwards between his two men and grabbed the P90 cautiously. He narrowed his eyes at Rodney, "And who the hell are you?"

"Hmm, well I'm dead, aren't I? And, no, I'm not from this reality. I need a power source to get through this archway and get home. How did you find me anyway?" Rodney's hands were starting to shake again as the initial adrenaline rush from the marines finding him wore off. He felt a bone deep weariness threatening to overcome him.

"We saw a life sign suddenly appear on the sensors and were dispatched to investigate."

The Major was still giving him a blank look and Rodney asked desperately, "Uh, don't you remember me?"

Ford looked confused for a moment as he hesitated and Rodney saw his eyes darting about in an unfocused manner, almost like he was trying to access a long forgotten and buried memory. He looked up suddenly and said incredulously, "McKay? Yes, I do remember you! Not very well, but what little remains of my memory from before the siege threw that name at me."

Rodney pressed a hand against his chest to try and stem the flow of blood still steadily leaking out of him and asked, "But what about the Wraith enzyme and your crazy turn?"

"Crazy, huh, doc? Well that's one way of putting it. I hope I'm not crazy now, but I seem to remember, none too clearly though, that you _died_ on the very planet where I was eventually rescued from my 'crazy turn.'"

"Oh," Rodney sighed softly and winced with his eyes tightly closed as the exhalation moved his torn skin painfully.

Ford asked in concern, "Hey, you alright?"

"Not really," Rodney mumbled.

Ford's eyes suddenly widened and he lifted his P90 up and pointed it at McKay's chest. The combined harsh white light of all three guns aiming at the scientist showed that there was a shiny patch over his chest. Dark red liquid ran between his pale fingers as he clutched himself as firmly as he could.

Ford reached up to tap his radio, but Rodney held up his free hand and cried, "No, don't call anyone!"

"But you're bleeding, McKay."

"Oh, my, you're almost as clever as Colonel Obvious!" Rodney hissed in annoyance as his legs wobbled and threatened to give up on holding his weight.

Ford smirked, "Sheppard? Yeah, he is a bit like that! Hey, he'll want to see you, McKay, after all these years. Where did you come from?"

"Another reality that I really need to get back to!" Rodney said breathlessly as he drew in a slow lungful of air to minimize the movement of his chest. "Can you do me a huge favour?"

Ford indicated for his team mates to lower their weapons and went over to Rodney. He helped the injured man to sit down as his knees finally buckled under the strain and then he grabbed a bandage from his tac vest. Rodney's arm fell down limply as he sat there and concentrated on not passing out. Ford pressed the bandage against the scientist's chest and wrapped it around his back.

Rodney asked, "You got any paper?"

Ford shot him a questioning look and as he was so close now, Rodney saw his terrifying black iris from the Wraith feeding he had endured and survived. He flinched back slightly and Ford's hand moved away from where it was stemming the blood flow.

Ford quickly looked away and Rodney thought he saw shame passing across the man's face. It was like a dark shadow and an expression far removed from the almost carefree attitude that Rodney remembered from his fated team mate in his own reality.

Rodney asked again, "You must have some in that tac vest of yours. There's usually just about everything in there and I should know!"

Ford nodded and tore open a velcro pocket. He pulled out a small notepad and a pen and handed them to Rodney.

McKay started to scribble feverishly in the notepad and smeared a little blood on the pages as he wrote. He spoke as he worked, "So, what happened here? How did I die and how did you survive?"

Ford frowned, "Survive? What?"

"You know, on the planet with the sun that all but burnt my skin off?"

Ford's expression darkened again and he said, "I caught up with a wild man living out in the forest. It was too late for you by then…"

He suddenly sat right back and glanced at Rodney with a lopsided grin, "Oh, this is too weird! How can you be here even though you're dead?"

Rodney sighed in annoyance as he looked up from where he was writing out a long list in the notepad. He let his eyes unfocus as he stared across the room and did not look at Ford, "Obviously I'm _not_ dead, just not from this reality." Rodney felt his anger levels building as he had to spell everything out for the Major. He did not remember how he had coped with it when Ford had been a part of his team.

"Oh, yeah," Ford said and he relaxed and leant in towards Rodney again. "Anyway, this wild man had set up some traps, something about Wraith chasing him and they were swarming through that forest all the time. It all happened pretty fast, although I was really drugged up back then so it went by in a blur."

Rodney frowned, "The wild man? Ronon?"

"We never found out his name."

Rodney felt an unsettling coldness washing over him, which had nothing to do with his near freezing or the blood loss. He clenched his teeth in anticipation of the next part in the tale.

"You got caught in one of his traps. I think it was a leg trap of some kind. It wrapped around your ankle, yanked you up and held you hanging upside down."

Rodney grimaced as Ford gestured wildly and expressively with his hands. He remembered the pain and humiliation all too well. More than that though, he remembered the fear that he was about to be split open by the insane Ford's bullets in his reality as he had hung there completely helpless.

"It did more than trap you though, it killed you. I shot the wild man, I'm not sure why. Revenge probably." Ford chuckled nervously and patted Rodney's back.

McKay cried out weakly and hunched forwards as the tracker in his back shifted.

"Oh, sorry, doc. After that, Sheppard and Teyla soon caught up with me, stunned me to oblivion and dragged me back here to go cold turkey."

Ford shuddered and closed his eyes briefly and then stared at Rodney as he continued to write in the notepad. It was almost as though he was awaiting an appraisal of his latest mission report.

"So, you killed Ronon?" Rodney said flatly, feeling anger that the Satedan had never been given a second chance in this reality and had died before he could be freed from the Wraith's clutches.

Rodney quickly pushed aside his emotions about Ronon and chanted his new mantra in his head; it was not his reality. He did not need to heap the grief of an infinite number of bad decisions and nightmare realities upon his battered frame or he would collapse in a sobbing heap and never recover.

He hoped it worked this time as it had utterly failed him in the previous reality. He had felt rage and horror inside him when he had seen what was left of Earth as it had become only an empty planet devoid of the billions of lives it had once had living upon it.

He shook himself from his thoughts and asked in morbid fascination, "So, how did the leg trap manage to kill me? I survived in my own reality. A little bruised and with a bad sprain, but certainly not dead."

Ford looked uncomfortable, "It actually tore most of the ligaments in your leg and you, uh, bled to death inside."

"Oh!" Rodney looked down and stopped writing. He grimaced and passed the notepad back to Ford. "I need all this stuff to get home. Can you get it for me?"

The Major cast his eyes over the list and then raised his eyebrows at Rodney, "First off, I think you need to come with us to the infirmary and get that looked at." He gestured at the darkening bandage wrapped around Rodney's chest. "Then I'm sure Sheppard and the others would like to see you again." He smiled excitedly at Rodney, "I expect they've got a lot of questions!"

Rodney felt anger building inside him and he snapped, "No more questions! No more reunions just to be torn away again! I'll die if I stay here and if you're not going to help me, just give me your scanner, if you've even got one, and leave me alone!" Rodney slumped his shoulders down and buried his face in his hands as his breath hitched sharply.

Ford flinched and stood up. He backed away and stood with his marines as they twitched nervously at Rodney's raised voice.

Ford said in a placating voice, "Alright, McKay. I'll see what I can do, but I can't get you a weapon and it's going to be difficult to swipe any of this gear without arousing suspicion."

Rodney pressed a trembling hand over the bandage wrapped around his chest and muttered miserably, "Right now, I think I'd just settle for some painkillers." He sighed sadly and closed his eyes as his constant pain jabbed tiny knives into his frayed nerves and wore him down even further. He added, "Without any questions."

Ford came over and crouched down next to him with his brow furrowed. He gently squeezed the scientist's upper arm and said, "I'll see what I can do, McKay. Just, uh, don't go anywhere."

Rodney looked up at him incredulously and Ford returned a wry smile. The Major then opened more pockets on his tac vest and handed Rodney some pills, a bottle of water and all the power bars he could find.

Rodney mumbled, "Thanks." He then took some of the painkillers before munching his way through the power bars hungrily.

He suddenly had a nasty thought and his eyes widened as he rapidly blurted, "You need to really hurry, Major! I've got one of those tracking devices in me just like Ronon did." Ford gave him a blank look and Rodney elaborated, "The wild man you killed! There's a chance the Wraith could pick it up at any moment and come here."

"Oh," Ford looked a little rattled and then he straightened up and merely said, "Okay."

The Major left the room with his team and Rodney drank nearly the entire bottle of water before he lay down and stretched out on his back and let the weariness drag him into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Rodney awoke when he felt a sharp and painful pull across his chest. He opened his eyes tiredly and saw that the last person he had expected to see was kneeling down next to him with her lips pressed together in concentration.

Ford was standing above her and holding a bright flashlight as she restitched the lacerations on Rodney's chest. McKay whispered, "Jennifer?"

"Hmm, oh, hello." She said distractedly as she pulled another stitch through Rodney's skin.

He did not see any recognition in her eyes as she briefly looked into his face and smiled reassuringly. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was on the wrong side of the tiger cage at feeding time."

Jennifer grinned up at him and tilted her head, "Well, that's not really surprising. Major Ford told me you used to be in his team and died before I came to Atlantis."

Rodney shot Ford a scathing look and muttered angrily, "I thought I told you not to tell… ah!" He cried out with his lower jaw trembling and closed his eyes as Jennifer put another stitch through one of the cuts.

Ford looked down at him sadly and then shrugged, "Didn't think it would hurt. She doesn't know you, McKay, and she has even less of a reason to tell the others."

Rodney opened his eyes again and blinked away the tears, "Alright, thanks. But what about the stuff I asked you to get?"

Ford grinned at him in triumph, "I got most of it. I still can't give you a gun, but with Dr Keller's help, I got all the medical supplies you requested."

"And more…" Rodney said, smiling as he gazed up at Jennifer's frowning face while she continued to work.

He inhaled a deep breath and Jennifer paused for a moment and waited. She kept her eyes on his bare chest as it fell back down when he exhaled in a long sigh. The concentration never left her face as she resumed her stitches.

She started to speak as she neared the end of the last cut, "I'm giving you some antibiotics. These wounds are fairly recent so I hope we can catch the infection before it takes hold, but no promises unfortunately. The Pegasus Galaxy has many different microbes we've never seen before."

Rodney nodded in gratitude. She finished her last stitch and cleaned the wounds gently. Rodney winced and tensed up as the pain broke through the anaesthetic she had given him.

She looked at him in concern and rested a hand on his face as she said, "I really want to take you back to the infirmary so that we can take care of you properly."

Ford cleared his throat and she glanced up at him to see the warning look. She sighed and returned her attention to Rodney, "But the Major says I can't or it'll bring the Wraith down on Atlantis and kill you anyway."

She frowned down at her hand against his face and Rodney closed his eyes as he revelled in her calming caress. He was badly hurt and in so much pain, but her touch soothed it all away from him.

She quickly drew her hand back and looked at him with a puzzled expression. She then raised her eyebrows and helped him to sit up before she wrapped a fresh bandage around his chest.

Rodney considered asking her to investigate the Wraith tracker, but he did not know how much time he had left before the random killing malfunctions tried their luck against him once more.

It seemed that Ford had probably told her to leave that one too, by the look that passed between them. All that she did was clean and bandage the wound, but otherwise left it alone.

He would really rather not stay on Atlantis with the tracker in his back for too long or he would call the Wraith down to obliterate whatever Atlantis was like in this reality.

Jennifer passed him a clean shirt and jacket and he pulled them on over the bandage which felt snug and reassuringly tight against his skin. She pressed a packet of tablets into his hands and put her other hand around his neck. Rodney shivered a little and she said, "There's a nasty bruise on your shoulder as well. It's not broken your collar bone, but it'll be sore for a while."

Rodney nodded and smiled, "Thanks, Jennifer."

She narrowed her eyes at him briefly and then returned the expression with a little confusion playing across her face which made her smile go lopsided.

Rodney chuckled and with her help he stood up. He felt much stronger after the food and her care and was able to stay upright with a minimal amount of trembling in his muscles.

Ford handed him a rucksack and he winced as he held onto it, but he could not put it on over his bruised shoulder. He was not given a gun though, until Jennifer folded her arms over her chest and glared at Ford.

Ford sighed and reluctantly pulled a gun holster and belt out of his own rucksack and handed it to Rodney. He muttered, "Against my better judgement…"

Jennifer's face softened a little and Rodney felt gratitude overwhelming him so much he had to keep hold of the gun belt after he had strapped it around his waist so that he did not draw the alternate Jennifer into an incredibly awkward hug.

He said sincerely, "Thanks, _both_ of you. Once I'm gone I suppose you can tell the others. Although you might not want to as it would create too many questions." He turned to Ford and asked, "What about your men?"

Ford shook his head, "They came to Atlantis after you died. I already asked them not to tell anybody about this and I can trust them."

Rodney nodded and said dismissively, "Good, good. Well, I need to leave."

They both stayed there and he waved his hand around in annoyance, "You can't stay here! Unless you want to get pulled out of your reality forever!" His voice broke at the end and Jennifer furrowed her brow at his despair.

Rodney hung his head down and rubbed his face in hopelessness.

Jennifer walked over to him and grabbed his wrist as he dragged it across his forehead. She drew his arm away from his face and said, "Hey, no need to be like that."

Rodney stiffened up as she continued to hold his arm and then relaxed. He was among friends. Even though Jennifer did not know him, he felt the tension leaving him in her presence.

He said sadly, "It's just I've been passing through all sorts of hellish realities and never one where I can stay." His breath hitched and Jennifer held his arm more securely and squeezed gently.

She said, "You'll get back."

"How can you be so sure?" Rodney asked as he lifted his chin to gaze up at her.

"I just have a _feeling_." She looked a little confused, like she had not really thought about what she had said before it came out of her mouth.

"Yes, well that usually works." Rodney said smiling brightly.

She grinned back at him and then her hand slipped down to his and she said, "Well, good luck!"

Rodney nodded and then pulled his hand out of her grasp as he turned. He was unsure what would happen next if he held her hand for too long.

Jennifer hastily packed away her gear and Rodney drew out the hand scanner and one of the power crystals he had asked for. He reconfigured the scanner and pressed it against his left arm to read the implant from the Ancients.

He sighed when he saw, not unexpectedly, that he was still far, far from home.

Ford nodded at him and then he locked eyes with Jennifer one last time. She smiled back at him, before she turned and left the lab behind Ford.

Rodney shook his head as he walked the familiar path back to the control panel and inserted the power crystal. He sighed tiredly as he once again powered up the arch.

He then held his breath and closed his eyes as he was dragged backwards. Praying that he did not get sent to a reality where Atlantis was nothing more than debris in space. He breached the portal and went ever onwards in his quest to stay alive for long enough to get home.

* * *

_TBC_

_PS – Say the chapter of this title out loud quickly and you may realise something…_


	11. My Last Day Will Be Tomorrow

_A/N – Falling Into Ice… Falling In Twice…? Oh, well! Thanks for the reviews everyone!_

**_Chapter 11 – My Last Day Will Be Tomorrow_**

Rodney sat on the floor in the arch room and checked the scanner again. The dampening field he had created to mask his life sign seemed to be holding. He was fairly confident it was hiding the Wraith tracker as well, but there was not a lot he could do about it if he was still visible to their hive ships.

He had been steadily passing through the realities now that he had all the equipment he needed and did not have to go on a trek where he ended up to get supplies. He blinked down at his watch tiredly and sighed. He had lost track of the number of times he had gone through the archway, but he hoped that every time brought him closer to home.

He stretched out his back and winced as his wounds moved with him. The version of Jennifer who had helped him was as skilled a physician as she was in his reality and the stitches held.

He lifted up the scanner and laid it on his arm for what felt like the millionth time. He sighed as it showed that he was still not home. He had already been in this particular mystery reality for a few hours and felt it was safe enough to stay there for a while longer, have something to eat and try to get some rest.

He dug around in the rucksack and tried not to let the fact that he only had a handful of power crystals left bother him. He would soon need to venture out to find some more soon in order to continue his slow progress home.

He pulled out an MRE and curled his lip up at the packaging as he read the contents. He tore it open and started to chew on what he found inside. He grimaced as it tasted exactly like the multiprocessed plastic chicken he knew it would. He was so hungry and it had been so long since he had had any proper food that he had not promptly lost in a bout of painful vomiting. Right then, it could have been the finest cuisine Earth had to offer and he smiled as he wolfed down the last remnants of the meal.

There were two more in the bag, but he was also running out of water. He took some more of the antibiotics to fight down the infection trying to take hold.

He then turned on his side and lay down, hugging the rucksack to his chest and resting his arm under his head to at least try and minimize the hard bite of the floor against him. His hip soon protested at the solid ground underneath and he knew he was in for a bad time when he woke up, but he was so tired that he soon drifted away.

* * *

It only felt like his eyes had only been closed for a few minutes when Rodney woke up and moaned. There was fire spreading out under his skin. It was not confined to his chest and back as it had been earlier, but it was in every part of his body.

He closed his eyes again, but the sensation stayed with him and held him even tighter with every breath he took. It only continued to increase where he willed it to leave him alone. He muttered sadly in understanding, "The cellular degradation. I'm a dead man."

He sat up and bunched his hands into the rucksack he was still curled up against, as the burning feeling did not go away and his eyes started to water. He suddenly realised that the Wraith Queen had inadvertently healed his cells when she had given his life back.

"Good to go for another round…" Rodney whispered harshly into the empty room.

He knew that he needed haste now to get back, so he grabbed a precious power crystal from his dwindling supply and packed up his gear.

He slowly walked over to the control console as every step sent shooting pains up his legs and he gritted his teeth in agony. It felt like he was standing in a bonfire, but there were no visible flames, only those inside him.

He coiled the strap of the bag around his wrist securely and slotted the crystal in place. He then tapped a few buttons and quickly turned to face the arch as it powered up. He very deliberately walked forwards at a rapid pace where he had become fairly expert at going through the portal to avoid bruising on the other side as he fell.

His speed matched the snag and he jogged into the next reality, praying that his luck held out and that he was either home at last or in another safe place.

* * *

Rodney knew he was in trouble the moment he ran out the other side of the portal and skidded to an unsteady halt. His lungs felt like they were full of knives as he caught his breath and dropped the bag to hug his arms around his chest.

He knew it would not be long before he was going to be completely immobilised by the cellular breakdown. At the rate it was now increasing he thought it would probably be only a matter of hours before he could not move at all and then a day at most before he was dead.

That was not what had caused him to panic though. It looked like the inhabitants of the reality where he had appeared made full use of the room as a makeshift armoury. It was crammed full with enough ordinance to start a small war.

Guns of all sizes and descriptions where held up in racks all around the edges of the room. There were tac vests and helmets along with grenades, rocket launchers and rows upon rows of Wraith stunners.

Rodney widened his eyes in fear as he swept his gaze around the room and said, "Underground lair. An evil, underground lair…"

The atmosphere in the room was thick and felt heavy with the promise of death that all the weapons had already dispensed or were destined to do. There was also a strong tang of gunpowder and burning.

Rodney swallowed nervously and limped over to the control panel. He put the rucksack down as close to the panel as he could and fumbled as he unzipped it. He grabbed a power crystal as his panic increased that he was going to be caught very soon. "Or shot!" he whispered in terror as he glanced at the guns.

He held the crystal tightly and was about to curl his hand around the rucksack straps again, when a blast of blue energy impacted his lower arm. He shrieked as white hot pain rushed up and down his right forearm and made him drop the crystal with a clatter.

He fell over and tried to get to his gun, but his hand was left tingling and limp when the sudden pain receded.

He swivelled himself around where he lay on his back and looked at his attacker. It was Sheppard, but definitely not _his_ Sheppard. The Colonel was leering down at him as he waved the modified Wraith stunner briefly and then pointed it at him without flinching. There were two more marines with him and they both glared at him in equal dislike.

Sheppard said nastily, "You're out of uniform, McKay."

There was venom in his words that sounded like hatred to Rodney's ears and his heart rate sped up even more and dulled the pain he was in. Rodney looked down at his uniform; it was the same style as the one he had been wearing before he had lost his reality.

He decided it was best to try and play dumb so he mumbled, "Uh, okay."

"That's not good enough. You already know what the punishment is for any disobedience and I've had it up to here with you." Sheppard's voice rose as he reached the end of the sentence and Rodney flinched.

He needed to get Sheppard on a level playing field so he stood up slowly and squared his shoulders. He then asked as calmly as he could, "Punishment? No, what?"

Sheppard walked over to him with a cold expression. The soldiers behind him kept their guns aimed at Rodney. He raised his hands and frowned at Sheppard. He asked in panic, "What's going on? What are you doing?"

"That won't work, McKay. There are always consequences." Sheppard grabbed the gun from Rodney's holster and tucked it into the front of his tac vest.

Before Rodney could speak again, Sheppard backhanded him across the face and he fell to the floor. Sheppard moved his foot back and wound a savage kick into Rodney's stomach. McKay released an inarticulate grunt and then rolled over and lay on his side as he rocked slightly. He held his midsection with both of his forearms and coughed.

"Rogers, Leider, get over here. You know the drill."

"Yes, sir!"

Rodney blinked up to see what was going on. One of the marines grabbed his left arm and pulled it away from where he was clutching it across his bruised belly. It felt like he had pulled half the stitches on his chest and the weakness caused by the cell degradation meant that the pain stayed constant.

Rodney struggled, but the hands were too strong and he winced. The other marine rolled him over onto his back and straddled him as he held him down firmly by the shoulders.

Sheppard grinned evilly down at Rodney as he lay pinned to the floor and immobile. He brought up his boot and suddenly stamped down on Rodney's outstretched hand.

McKay howled passionately in agony as Sheppard's crushing foot snapped two of his fingers like twigs. Even after all the pain and torment he was already enduring, the sound he released involuntarily felt strange in his throat and to his ears. Like he could not believe that such an emotional cry could ever emanate from him.

He felt nausea building up as his breath caught in a strangled choking sob and tears of pain streamed down his face.

The marines let go of him and Rodney continued to whimper in misery as he drew his mangled left hand across his chest and furrowed his brow. He felt strong hands pulling him off the floor and forcing him to walk out of the room. He felt the barrel of a gun jabbed into his back brutally and he gritted his teeth.

He looked down sadly as his fingers continued to throb steadily and eclipsed all the other sensations, but a flicker of hope still burned in his mind. They had not taken the rucksack and the power crystal was still lying on the floor in the room somewhere. If he could distract them and get away then he would be free to move to the next reality. Overpowering them was out of the question as he knew that the next blow or shot could easily kill him.

While he was thinking, he must have hesitated, because he felt the barrel of the stunner pressed into the small of his back and shoving firmly until he stumbled.

Sheppard seemed to be on the other end of the torment and he growled, "Keep moving, McKay, or it'll be worse for you this time."

Rodney said, "A reality where everyone's evil and psychotic? I suppose it was bound to happen eventually…" He cried out as the barrel of the Wraith stunner jabbed him wickedly in the ribs and left what felt like a massive bruise when it was drawn away.

No one helped him when he fell down a few seconds later and lay still. He wished they would leave him lying there and go on their way with whatever they did in this reality when not torturing unarmed civilians.

Sheppard bared his teeth slightly in anger and then tapped his radio, "Ronon. Go get Keller. McKay's escaped again and he's being…" Sheppard smiled at him, but there was nothing nice in his expression, "…difficult."

Rodney twisted out of the way as another boot sailed towards him. He cowered, but Sheppard grabbed his arm in a bruising grip and pulled him upright with an angry sigh. Rodney continued to clutch his damaged hand against himself protectively and did not want to look down and to find out about the state of his fingers.

Rodney flinched away and pulled his arm out of the hold. He asked, "Escaped _again_? Am I still alive in this reality? How is that even possible?"

Sheppard rammed the stunner into Rodney's midsection and he would have fallen again if one of the marines had not grabbed him under the shoulders and held him up. Rodney bent over at the waist and hugged his arms around himself, being careful not to shift his mangled hand.

He gasped, "You're going to kill me doing that! Cell degradation here. Not to mention multiple stab wounds, Wraith feeding, hypothermia…"

He coughed as Sheppard cracked him over the head with the stunner and said, "I don't really want to break this on you, McKay. Zelenka's only got a few."

Rodney clutched his head with his free hand as he straightened. He said shakily, "Then… don't…"

Sheppard shrugged and pushed Rodney along and into the transporter. He shoved the scientist up against the wall inside the chamber and breathed heavily as it looked like he was trying to restrain himself from hitting Rodney again.

McKay narrowed his eyes and asked again, "Where did I escape from? When was the last time you saw me?"

Sheppard frowned at him in confusion and said coldly, "It's martial law, McKay. You know the rules, even though you flout them. Civilians answer to the military. You do as we ask or there are consequences."

Rodney mumbled, "Oh, then you hold all the civilians captive?"

That earned him another punch in the face and he clutched his head as his ears rang and an angry headache flared. Sheppard had his lips pressed together in fury and then jabbed his finger on the control panel.

Rodney grimaced and asked, "So, do you do any exploring and learning?"

Sheppard said coldly, "No. Well, only if there's something in it for us."

"Conquering and enslaving?" Rodney guessed.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes and said, "Huh, but it backfired when the Wraith got past you, got past _us_ and then took Earth." He suddenly stopped and said angrily, "You know all of this, McKay! What the hell's wrong with you?"

Rodney furrowed his brow. He had obviously been right and he knew that he was definitely in big trouble now that he was trapped in this reality.

He was starting to lose control of his legs as he was marched up the next corridor. He was getting weaker from the abuse at the hands of a man who looked like his friend, but could not have been further from the true Sheppard he had left behind in his own reality.

Soon, the marines had to hold him up by the arms and half drag him along the corridor. Rodney was lost in his own mind though, as the pain sealed him off and closed all the doors to anything other than what his wracked body was telling him.

He dimly looked out through the iron bars of the agony as though he was not even seeing the world through his own eyes anymore, but from another man. He saw a dim haze of what was happening as the room tipped and fell.

Then he realised that it was actually him who had fallen and landed on the floor in a heap. He watched the lights as the brig shield activated and locked him away. He felt like he was already imprisoned though, so did not really register the second barrier going up around him.

He struggled with wakefulness and tried to at least escape his first cage of pain. He realised in sadness that there was nothing he could do, so he found the only freedom he could and succumb to unconsciousness. The pain closed in and then faded away entirely.

* * *

Rodney woke up to the sound of grating laughter. It was utterly mirthless and totally unpleasant. He narrowly opened his eyes and found that he was lying on a bed in the isolation room. They had removed him from the brig, but he was still locked away.

There was an IV line threaded in his arm, but there was still a dull throbbing ache throughout his body which he knew was only being silenced from the screaming agony of earlier by a drug of some description.

He blinked slowly and swallowed, but his throat was dry and he coughed weakly. He turned his head as the laughter stopped abruptly and watched in horror as Jennifer moved away from where she was standing very close to Ronon.

The Satedan was smiling at her, but like Sheppard, his face was distorted and he did not appear to be truly happy. He looked greedily upon her in hunger as his eyes bored into her face. He then turned to look at Rodney and his expression instantly swapped to the same hatred Rodney had seen in Sheppard's eyes.

Rodney shrunk down into the bed, but there was nowhere for him to go. He felt warmth in his left hand and glanced down to see that his broken fingers had been carefully set and splinted and were strapped together.

Jennifer walked over and kept her face neutral as she removed the IV line. She narrowed her eyes briefly and then turned her face away and stalked back to Ronon.

Rodney followed her with his gaze and then felt angry as his heart leapt in a jealousy when Jennifer hugged Ronon tightly and he growled at her.

She laughed, the same mirthless and horrendous laugh that was nothing like the tinkling raindrops of her usual happy chuckles. Rodney felt all his hair standing on end as he grimaced and looked away feeling completely crestfallen and wretched.

He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow as he mumbled sadly, "That was to be expected."

She said to Ronon in a humorous tone, "Don't break him _too_ much this time or I'll have to spend all my time repairing him and less time will be left for you." She poked her finger in his chest and pouted.

Rodney shifted on the bed and swung his legs over the side to build up his best defence after what Jennifer had just said. He tried to ignore the fact that the woman was wearing Jennifer's face as she grinned at him nastily and then left him alone with Ronon.

Rodney watched Ronon warily, but the Satedan just stood there and glared back at him neutrally. Rodney went straight for a new question that had just formed in his mind, which would hopefully earn him less punches over its stupid insanity, "How's Earth these days?"

"Earth," Ronon grunted and snarled. He snorted slightly and then said, "Culled years ago."

"Oh, why am I not surprised?" Rodney said, starting to feel a little indifference at the attitude and behaviour of the humans he had encountered so far.

He slowly lifted his bandaged hand to gesture around the room and added, "So, this place is the last outpost of human race? You're not really setting a very good example for the species from the behaviour I've seen so far."

Ronon did not lift his fists to threaten the scientist or aim any kicks his way. He just continued to stand there and stare at Rodney intently until he had to look away uncomfortably. "So, uh, how did that happen and were you always this evil?"

Ronon shifted and curled his hands up briefly. Rodney flinched away until his back hit a wall and he winced. Jennifer's words must have got through to the Satedan, as he still did not lash out even though it looked like he wanted to.

"The Wraith, McKay! Working in that lab of yours alone for the past year really has driven you crazy." Ronon came over to him and placed one hand on the wall next to Rodney's head.

"Huh?" Rodney closed his eyes at the closeness of Ronon and his threatening behaviour and frowned. He asked, "Before today, when was the last time anyone saw me?"

Ronon shrugged and then grinned at Rodney. The scientist narrowly cracked his eyes open and had a fleeting view of Ronon's sharp teeth before he started speaking again, "Dunno. Don't really care. You're a snivelling coward, McKay and I hoped you'd finally decided to end your misery and ours. Obviously not though."

Rodney tried to flinch away, but Ronon was still staring at him cruelly and he did not have a choice as fighting was out of the question. He did not feel very brave at that moment and he knew his expressions and movements were only confirming what Ronon had just said.

The Satedan continued, "As long as I stay alive, I don't keep tabs on what happens to anyone else."

"Wow, people say I'm selfish…" Rodney muttered under his breath, but Ronon was so close to him he must have heard every word.

Ronon shoved his hands onto Rodney's chest and pressed him into the wall until Rodney was sure that some of the stitches had torn and his ribs were about to splinter. He pushed his uninjured hand against Ronon's chest, but he had little strength left and could not shift the taller man away. Ronon used his grip on the scientist's shirt to pull him away from the wall before spinning him over and bodily slamming him into the ground.

Rodney cried out and lost his breath when he landed. His head also connected with the floor and he closed his eyes as he lay there. He felt the hands leaving him and looked up through his blurred vision to see Ronon standing over him menacingly.

Rodney remembered the Wraith tracker in his back and savagely wondered whether the Wraith had already picked it up and were on their way to eliminate the remnants of Earth's population permanently. He found himself echoing the sentiments of the version of Ronon looming over him without a flicker of remorse on his face, as he no longer cared very much if they had.

Rodney said between panted gasps, "I, I'm dead… in this reality! You need to… let me go back… to the room where the others found me!"

Ronon frowned and knelt down next to Rodney. He said, "Sheppard won't like that."

Rodney winced and whispered, "Go to my… lab and see… for yourself… I'm not from this reality…" He coughed and cringed as the painkillers began to wear off, "If you truly don't… care about anything… let me go." His voice squeaked in desperation at the end and he closed his eyes involuntarily.

He heard footsteps around him and braced himself for a kick which would probably be one of the last things he felt. It did not come though and he heard the door open before mumbled words echoed back at him.

He then heard another person coming over to him, but he could not find the physical strength or willpower required to open his eyes and find out who it was.

He felt a hand grabbing his upper arm and tugging brutally. Rodney moaned and the grip became tighter and the relentless pulling caused more pain to rail against his fragile body.

He moved then, only to stop the new torment assaulting him. He snapped his eyes open as he shouted in a high-pitched voice, "Stop doing that, can't you see I can't move!"

He immediately closed his mouth and tried to smooth the deep frown on his face when he saw it was actually Jennifer trying to help him up.

She clenched her teeth together and glared back at him. It was not a hurt or indignant expression though, but one of anger. She said slowly, "Get up, McKay or I'll leave you here to die."

Rodney flinched at her words and then understanding started to flow through his mind, "Like you already have?"

Her frown shifted into one of confusion, "What are you talking about?"

Rodney put some of his own strength behind her pulling and levered himself up and onto the bed. He swung his legs round and lay back with a violent shudder as his many bruises were pressed against the sheets.

Jennifer showed no remorse or pity though as she continued to glare at him.

Rodney turned to her once the trembling had subsided and said, "Everyone here is totally mad. Whether it's the destruction of Earth and the desperation or whether you were all just born this way… I don't know…"

He panicked slightly as Jennifer came closer to him and took what looked like a pen out of her pocket. Rodney glanced at it briefly and then up at her face again. He quickly added, "I don't care either! I need your help, or someone's help to get out of here and back where I truly belong."

Jennifer folded her arms over her chest and sighed. She said, "McKay, why should I help you?"

Rodney's eyes darted around the room and then he locked eyes with her again, trying to push aside the fact that she looked exactly like the woman he loved. "Ronon! If you let me go, you can be together without any distractions!"

Jennifer looked down while she thought about it and then straightened up, "Alright. I'll see what I can do. If you try to escape before though…"

Rodney swallowed and had very little faith that this version of Jennifer was any less evil than the others. He silently stood up as she walked away from him. He once again rested his damaged hand over his chest and held his other hand over his mouth to quieten his breathing while he followed her over to the door.

He tiptoed and fought back a cry when the nagging pain flared through him again.

The door opened for Jennifer and she stepped out. Rodney suddenly ran at her and lifted up his injured hand as he grabbed her around the neck with his other arm. He quickly spun her around to shield himself with her body from the confused marines who were standing guard by the door.

He said into her ear quietly, "I'm not going to hurt you. I just need some insurance."

Jennifer's hair was right in his face, so he puffed out a breath to clear it from his vision as he backed away from the marines as they continued to watch him lazily. It was almost like they no longer cared what was going on either.

He could understand Sheppard's frustration, but taking it out on the few civilians who were left… Rodney wondered whether his earlier assumption had been correct. Then again, everyone was so evil and out of character he did not believe for a moment that they had not always been like they were and had brought about the destruction of Earth through their own selfish actions.

He reached the transporter unhindered and tapped the display for the corridor close to the arch room, which was being used as a makeshift armoury in this reality.

When the journey was complete, he quickly released his strangle hold on Jennifer. She stepped away from him and coughed harshly as she rubbed her neck.

She suddenly spun around and came at him. Rodney's eyes widened in shock and he pushed his hands against her shoulders at the same time he felt a sharp new pain in his flank.

The sensations assailing his body had blurred into one big lake of pain and misery, but he was still able to notice the new feeling and looked down to see what had happened to cause it, if anything.

What Rodney had thought was a pen, was in actual fact a scalpel and Jennifer had just stabbed him with the small blade. It stuck out sideways from him, just below his ribs and he pushed her away more firmly with a whimper as she glared at him in fury and then smiled. The expression tore into Rodney as it was the first time he had actually seen a flicker of any true happiness.

He winced, but could not contemplate pulling the blade out himself. Jennifer decided to help him. Before he could stop her, she curled her hand around the instrument and pulled it out.

Rodney cried out weakly and pushed past her to free himself from the transporter alcove and get more room to manoeuvre.

She held the bloody blade up and slashed it through the air towards him as he backed away and tilted his upper body to avoid the tiny blade.

He held up his hands and said, "Whoa, whoa! What are you doing, Jennifer?"

She snarled at him and forced him further along the corridor with her constant attacks. Rodney knew he was going towards the arch room, but that was little comfort as the scalpel flashed towards him and he did not move quickly enough to avoid being sliced across the arm. His clothes hardly protected him as the tiny glint of sharp metal cut through his sleeve and drew yet more blood.

The adrenaline surge helped though and although it stung terribly and he grimly knew that he was going to pay for it later, it was not totally disabling and he still walked backwards and kept his eyes on her.

He gritted his teeth in concentration and anticipation of a slash that would be fatal as it either slit his throat or nicked an artery.

Jennifer seemed to have been taking lots of lessons from Ronon as she swept the blade across Rodney's chest, but he moved out of the way just in time to avoid being cut again. She slashed at his face and neck but missed as he continued to desperately dodge and weave.

He knew he should probably turn around and try to run away, but that would only prove how much of a coward he was to her. He did not trust his legs to hold him up or her not to catch up and slash his back wide open. So he stood his ground and faced her down. How much damage could a scalpel really do to an unarmed man? He knew he was about to find out and he was in for a lot of grief.

He held up his hands again and she regarded him mercilessly and held the scalpel in front of her, ready for another attempt at slashing him. As she angled it towards him and prepared for another attack, Rodney cried, "No no no! Stop! Please stop!"

Jennifer raised her eyebrows and said righteously, "I'm trapping you, McKay. You're the reason why the Wraith got to Earth and killed everyone. You're the reason why the only place where humans still live is on Atlantis."

She thrust the scalpel forwards and Rodney was able to catch her wrist with his good hand and prevented the blade from stabbing him again. He curled his belly inwards to avoid it as it inched closer to him.

They struggled and Rodney aimed an elbow at Jennifer's face half-heartedly. She avoided the blow easily and grunted before turning the blade towards his wrist as he held her in a desperate grip.

She jabbed it under his skin and he gritted his teeth as blood ran down into his hand and his grip on her became slick and difficult to keep hold of.

He dimly wondered why security had not yet caught up with them, but he had a more urgent need to survive. She smiled again with that horrid happiness spreading over her features that she had hurt him and was winning the fight.

She pulled her wrist away as Rodney's blood made him lose his hold on her. She then slashed at him with the blade once more.

Rodney dodged, but he was running out of evasion tactics. He knew his luck would run out soon and she would catch him a fatal blow to the throat or slash across his body so deeply that he would bleed to death in seconds. He was also getting slower and weaker as the adrenaline surge was draining what little strength he had built up after his prolonged ordeal.

She laughed and her happiness echoed in a hysterically disturbing manner as she lunged at him with the scalpel again. Rodney threw himself out of the way and slammed into a nearby wall.

She followed it up with a jab aimed much lower down and he barely saw the blade in time. He twisted his body around with lightning fast reflexes as he narrowly avoided being stabbed where she was aiming. She missed his groin, but buried the scalpel into his inner thigh. Rodney flinched and scrunched up his face in pain, but he was just glad that it was only his leg that was hurting him and not something far more important.

He gritted his teeth and found himself snarling back at her. He realised that he had not once really tried to hit her himself. He had just dodged and let himself be stabbed and slashed. This creature was not Jennifer though, not by a long shot. It wore her face and used her voice, but his Jennifer would never hurt him like this, not physically. She was a woman of healing not the aggressive and evil person who was trying to gut him with a tiny blade.

He steeled himself and bunched his working hand into a bloody fist as she tugged the scalpel out of his leg and dragged it across his body. It only sliced through the air though as he rapidly spun out of the way and backfisted her in the side of the head.

It wrenched his heart to hit her like that and he wanted to stop moving and tell her how sorry he was for what he had just done. His good intentions and natural programming where quickly rammed back against him as she screamed in fury and rounded on him.

She dashed at Rodney and he narrowed his eyes and calculated his timing perfectly. His very life depended on his next move and he knew that if he failed, he would be cut into tiny ribbons of flesh by the small blade Jennifer was wielding.

He drew from every training session with his team, every time he had ever had to fight in his life and gathered up every thread and trace of experience. He swung his uninjured leg round in a crescent kick and with great delight over his prowess; he finally knocked the scalpel out of Jennifer's hand.

She cried out and looked down at her hand where Rodney's foot had just hit her. She then made the mistake of trying to see where the blade had gone and Rodney ran at her and punched her squarely in the centre of her face.

She looked at him with a dazed and shocked expression for a brief moment before crumpling down to the ground.

Rodney trembled and felt wet trickles of blood running down his right arm and dripping from his fingertips as he stood there and panted. He rested his other arm over his chest where his broken fingers throbbed and screamed so much that he doubted he would ever be able to use them again.

He pressed his good hand against the wound on his inner leg as he crouched down. He grimaced as he lifted his hand away and wiped it on his trousers before he pressed his fingers against Jennifer's neck. He found a strong pulse and before he could stop it, relief washed over him.

He needed to get out of there though, before the blank marines thought it would be worth bothering to call security to come and round him up for another torture session. He knew if he did not escape he would get trapped there and the rest of his life would be excruciatingly painful and very short.

He used the last of his strength reserves to run in a strange limping canter down the corridor away from where he had fought and into the arch room.

He one handedly unzipped the bag still propped up against the control panel and used his teeth to assist as he tied a bandage tightly around the cut on his right forearm. His upper leg was more difficult and he could not pull it tight enough to think it would do much help to stop the bleeding. The shallow stab wound to his side was also difficult to bind, but he wrapped a bandage around himself and tucked the end in to hold it in place.

After he completed his hasty self first aid, he picked up the control crystal in his shaking hand. He then looked along the walls and packed a few spare stunners in his bag, hoping to cannibalise their power cells to make it through some more realities.

His entire body had become nothing but a mass of pain. He grimaced as he used only his right hand to draw the bag over his shoulders securely. He had to make sure he did not need to focus his flagging strength on keeping a tight grip on what he knew was the last hope for his survival.

He quickly plugged the power crystal, smeared and darkened with blood from his hand, into the console and smiled savagely as he was pulled out of the insane reality. He would welcome another Wraith infested Atlantis as long as they did not want to feed on him straight away.

He was unconscious before he passed under the arch and left the reality of most recent trauma and brutal treatment behind.

* * *

TBC


	12. Landfall

_**Chapter 12 – Landfall**_

The soft patter of warm rain on Rodney's face woke him up gently. He blinked up at the cloud strewn sky above and frowned. He was lying on his back on the ground. He felt grass brushing against his hands and when he tilted his head back slightly, he saw a nearby tree hanging over him. Its leaves rustled in a breeze which sent the rain sideways onto him.

He winced as the pain reminded him of his injuries. He tucked his elbow into his side, while he curled his hand against his inner leg over the wounds inflicted by the evil version of Jennifer.

He opened his mouth and let the water run over his tongue to soothe his dry throat. He hoped it did not contain any horrible diseases or acid, but he shook himself away from those thoughts as best he could. He thought he was probably still somewhere in the Pegasus Galaxy away from pollution like that on Earth.

He was curious as to why he was outside and not on Atlantis after the latest reality change.

As quickly as the rain had started, the clouds moved on and the sun broke through and shone down brightly. Rodney rested his damaged hand over his eyes to block out the brightness from blinding him as he continued to lie there and gather his strength. The rain had soaked him, but the sun was so hot he did not feel cold as his clothes rapidly dried.

The blood loss had left him numb and sleepy, even after being unconscious for an unknown length of time. He gritted his teeth and pushed his uninjured hand on the ground to force himself upright. He felt a horrendous splitting sensation across his right forearm and closed his eyes as he swayed even as he sat there.

"Okay, that's not so good," he mumbled with a wince as he looked down and watched as blood welled up and ran out from under the bandage tied to his arm. He held the palm of his shaking left hand on the bandage and pressed as hard as he could. His broken fingers were still strapped securely and he was careful not to knock them as he leaked more vital fluids by the minute.

To distract himself, he blinked slowly and lifted his head to find out where he was and how he had become so lost and alone.

His eyes flew open when he saw the evidence of massive destruction all around him. Twisted metal and broken concrete were on the ground, the last remains of a catastrophic event some time in the past. Some of the debris rose up in frightening pillars and other pieces were deeply buried in the ground.

It looked like it has happened a while ago, as grass had grown up all around the final resting place and all that was left of Atlantis in this reality. Trees that had survived the calamity tilted, but remained alive as they grew sideways.

Rodney felt like a piece of wreckage from Atlantis himself as he lay there bleeding and trembling.

He thought the city may have crashed into the planet, but the lack of a crater and the still living trees which had obviously been displaced in the last few years made him quickly push that theory away. Which left another option. Rodney shifted the grip he had on his forearm and muttered, "The self destruct… but what happened to my bag and where's the arch?"

He looked down at his arm and lifted his hand away. It was coated gory and red, but the bleeding had stopped for now. He placed both of his arms over his chest and shifted until he was kneeling. He then very slowly stood up and staggered as he put his weight on his stabbed leg. He clenched his teeth and hissed.

Now that he was slightly higher up, he spotted his bag a short distance away in a clump of long grass and flowers which rocked back and forth in a warm breeze.

As the water from the recent downpour evaporated, Rodney could hear insects singing and chirping birds in the trees. He closed his eyes tightly in fear as a loud buzzing sound flew past his ear. He dreaded to think about all the allergens from the flowers and hoped he would reach his epi-pen in time if one of the bugs decided to sting him. There was also the possibility of predatory animals looking for an easy target and he would be at the top of their list in his current condition.

He limped over to the bag and pressed his hand against the cut on his leg as he sat down in the cushioned long grass and unzipped it. He had to pull out the Wraith stunners to get at what he needed. He wrapped another bandage over the top of the soaked one on his arm and then took some painkillers with the last of his water.

He pulled out the scanner and sighed as he placed it in his lap and activated it so that he did not have to use his damaged hand. He moved his left arm as close as possible to the device and rolled his eyes. He already knew that he was not home, but he could not help the relief that went through him. Atlantis had not been destroyed while he had been gone. At least he hoped it had not.

There was suddenly a change in the sounds of the creatures sharing the land with him and the rustling leaves in the trees. Rodney looked up in alarm.

He still could not see the arch and exactly how he had landed where he had as his eyes scanned the devastation. The noise that had caught his attention grew louder and developed a distinctly familiar tone as it increased in volume. He had heard the sound in his nightmares long after it had passed into his ears while he had been awake.

He said, "Oh, the Wraith!" He then sullenly looked across at the nearest flower waving close to his face and glared at it intensely as he berated himself, "Of course it's the Wraith. You're a runner, McKay."

The dampening field he had devised had either not worked in this reality or he had been too far away from the scanner to avoid detection.

He did not feel like running at that moment, so he quickly packed the bag and pulled out a power crystal. He shoved the crystal in his pocket along with the scanner and tucked the stunner under his arm after he pulled the bag over his shoulders.

He then stood up and started to walk as fast as his body would allow as he started his hunt for the escape route out of this reality in earnest. He had to find it before the Wraith found him or he would never stand a chance against them.

He breathed shallowly to minimize the pain in his side from the stab wound under his ribs. As he walked, he darted his eyes quickly around the debris, desperately looking for the archway as the Wraith Dart circled over him, but did not swoop.

"They want me alive so that they can play with their food first," he hissed through clenched teeth as he looked up at a massive chunk of metal which had smashed Ancient writing etched into the side. He did not bother to read it as it was not what he was searching for.

He glanced down at the life signs detector and saw in horror that there was a single reading approaching him. Rodney knew the debris would slow down the Wraith hunter a little, but he would not bet his life on it. He lifted the stunner and watched as the small blip got closer to his position.

Rodney took up cover behind a high dull-gold coloured bulkhead and leant his shoulder against it as he waited for the Wraith to get within firing range.

He turned his head to the side as he readied himself to leave the cover in order to try and prevent the inevitable for a little longer. The sun beat down hotly and he felt sweat forming on his skin as the last of the rain water evaporated in the heat.

He looked down at the scanner again as his hand wavered and shook. His involuntary movements made the stunner look like it was going to come free from his grasp at any moment.

As he lifted his head up again, something caught his eye and his mouth opened slightly. He had finally spotted the archway attached to the side of a tilting floor as a large section of the city remained partially intact. It was underground slightly and the hard compressed earth held it up.

Rodney tracked his eyes over the structure briefly before he concentrated all his thoughts on his immediate survival. He must have fallen down and rolled quite some distance after he had come through into this reality. He was glad for the softness of the grass, because above the constant dull ache throughout him, he could not feel any new bruises from the fall.

He saw that the Wraith was now very close to him. He twisted himself round out of the cover and saw that it was just creeping around the edge of a nearby piece of twisted grey metal. The shard could have come from any part of the ruined city. The Wraith looked at him in surprise, before Rodney squeezed the trigger quickly.

His first few shots went wide as it ran at him, but he eventually caught it in the arm. It staggered and stopped running just long enough for his next shots to be true. He shot it in the chest many times and it fell down.

Rodney was quaking in fear and panic as he spun around and limped over to the base of the structure holding up the arch where he needed to go. He could not see the control panel. It had probably been in the section which had now become nothing more that weathered and torn power conduits and a jagged edge of metal pointing up into the sky.

The archway itself looked like it was brand new and as pristine as it had been in all the realities so far. It was almost like no amount of fire or rain or impacts could harm it.

He furrowed his brow in frustration as he tried to figure out a way to escape. Climbing was out of the question as the surface was too steep and smooth.

He willed himself to think faster as he knew the Wraith he had shot would recover soon and come for him. He also knew that the Wraith would do their best to get him and keep on sending more and more soldiers against him until their game was over and he was dead.

He muttered to himself in his panic, "So, there's no power conduit to the arch…" he narrowed his eyes and then suddenly widened them in realisation. He pointed the stunner at the hoop of metal which was so tantalisingly close, but too far away for him to ever possibly reach.

He whispered, "It's so twitchy with just a tiny amount of power. I hope it's enough to give it a little kick to get going…"

He fired the stunner again and again and again until one shot hit the arch, followed by another. He prayed the stunner blasts would provide enough energy to enable it to start drawing some real power from a reality where it was still connected. He hoped it would then be able to lift him off the ground and pull him through without any unwelcome followers.

The arch remained inert and Rodney continued to shoot at it. About one in ten of his poorly aimed blasts impacted as his hand wildly shook and threw his aim off. He knew that his aim was not as good as Sheppard, Ronon or Teyla's at the best of times, but the blood loss was hampering his muscle control.

He smiled in triumph when the arch activated at last and he was pulled towards it. He leant against the place where the floor was embedded in the soil. He then rested his arms against his chest protectively as he was slowly lifted and dragged up the tilted floor and through the portal to another reality.

* * *

Rodney was deposited carefully by the shift between realities. He was already lying in a heap on the floor when he left the heat of the sun and the warm breeze of the latest reality and found himself back on an intact version of Atlantis.

The buzzing insects and scream of the Wraith dart had been instantly silenced and the only sounds left were those coming from him.

He pulled the bag from his shoulders and lay out on his back as he got his breath back in pants over the shock and adrenaline of his recent bout of immense panic. He willed his heart rate to slow down as he felt it hammering against his ribs in palpitations and closed his eyes.

He felt absolutely exhausted once his breathing had finally evened out. He knew he would fall asleep if he kept lying there, so he rolled away from the archway and dragged the bag along the floor behind him as he crawled over to the nearest wall. He sat down and leant against it with his head tilted back. He gazed up at the ceiling tiredly as intermittent tremors kept running through his body.

He knew that if he fell asleep now, he would probably not wake up again. He was so tired that his vision blurred as his eyes unfocused.

He unzipped the bag and pulled out the scanner and radio inside. He looked at the radio indecisively. If he used it there was no guarantee he would not call down an even quicker death than the one he was nearing.

He put the radio on the floor, picked up the scanner and activated it. He rested it on his left arm on the off chance that it would already be able to pick up the reality.

"Oh! That can't be right?" The numbers on the screen snapped him out of the darkness closing in around him in his excitement and he eagerly grabbed the radio.

"McKay to Sheppard!"

He was breathing heavily again trying to fight down the dizziness and it seemed like forever before there was a reply.

"_This is Sheppard. Rodney, is that really you?"_ John's voice was hushed in disbelief, almost in awe.

"No, it's just some uncannily identical impersonator." He tried to sound angry, but his sarcastic bite was missing due to the weakness of his voice as he got closer to slipping unconscious. He gasped and then whispered, "What I really need to be concerned about is whether you're you, or whether you're going to try and kill me."

John asked slowly, _"Are you aright?"_

"Uh, not really," Rodney winced and his chest hitched when he sucked in a quick breath through his teeth, but he could feel very little pain. He lay down on his side and brought his knees up as closely to his chest as he could. He continued to keep the radio clutched in his shaking hand.

After a few seconds alone, Rodney heard John say, _"I've called a medical team to meet me by the transporter. I take it you're in the room with the archway?"_

Rodney sighed softly, "Yes."

He suddenly lost the feeling in his fingers and his muscles relaxed as he no longer had the strength to keep them taut.

"_Rodney, where have you been for the last two weeks? Rodney…?"_ Sheppard's voice increased in volume and it sounded like he was running. _"Just hang in there, we'll be down in a minute!"_

He could not press the talk button or even consider lifting his arm it felt so heavy. Everything felt like it was weighing him down; even his eyelids were too heavy to keep open so he closed his eyes.

The ground vibrated under Rodney as he lay there and he squinted to see how he had found himself in the middle of an earthquake. Then he saw a woman with blond hair nearby holding a needle. She looked worried and then her face became a neutral mask.

He suddenly panicked as she reached for him to jab him with the pointed metal. Rodney moved out of the way and started talking quickly as she tried to calm him down, "No no no! I won't let you s-s-stab me again!"

She replied calmly, with her hands raised at him as he curled up even tighter and watched her warily, "Rodney, it's Jennifer. I'm trying to help you."

He flinched when John walked over and crouched down next to him. The Colonel rested a hand on Rodney's back and furrowed his brow when he saw up close the broken fingers and blood stained bandages wrapped around the scientist.

He asked, "McKay, what's happened to you? Who did this to you?"

Rodney blinked up at Sheppard and a stream of fearful questions fled his mouth before he could stop the flow, "Am I immune to citrus? Are Elizabeth and Carson still alive? Are the Replicators still around? Has Earth been culled by the Wraith? Have the Genii taken over Atlantis? Am I… Uh, am I…? Jennifer... does she...?"

He shivered violently as more questions surfaced in his mind, but his recently flustered speech had drained him so much he could no longer force any more words out. He completely lost his concentration and grimaced.

Talking was like trying to hold water in his cupped hands. The speech had started out sure and strong, but by the time he was halfway through the sentence, too much water had been lost and he could not remember what he was going to say.

John had his mouth open in shock and blurted, "No! What the hell, McKay?"

Rodney closed his eyes and relaxed, "Good. I just needed to be sure."

He felt a tiny sting as an IV line was pushed under his skin. He looked to the side as Jennifer and her team carefully lifted him up onto the waiting gurney and wrapped more bandages over the blood soaked ones.

He suddenly tried to sit upright, but gentle hands forced him back down. He turned to John and said, "There's a Wraith tracker in my back! It'll call them down on Atlantis!"

Sheppard's eyes widened in shock and he shared a dark look and a nod with Jennifer. He said, "Don't worry, Dr Keller will find a way to get it out."

Jennifer suddenly leaned in towards him. Rodney was too weak to get away as terror gripped his heart that she was about to pull out a scalpel and slowly gut him before he could escape. Instead, she squeezed his upper arm and whispered in his ear so that no one else heard, "I still love you."

Rodney sighed in relief and sunk down into the bed as he let a small smile turn the corners of his mouth. The calm feeling immediately sent him to sleep.

The last image he had was of Jennifer looking down at him kindly with the lights in the ceiling moving past above her head as the medical team rushed him to the infirmary.

* * *

TBC


	13. Sadness

_**Chapter 13 – Sadness**_

Rodney woke up in the infirmary. He was aware that he had spent a lot of time slipping in and out of consciousness, but he hoped that this time he would be able to fight away the pull of sleep for more than a few seconds.

He had vague memories of when he had woken up before and of being too weak to answer or even grunt at the questions thrown at him from all sides, before the pain and weariness had dragged him down into the darkness again.

His throat was dry and an angry headache throbbed between his temples. He could feel the snag of stitches in his skin warmly wrapped in tight bandages around his hand, arm, leg and upper body. He could also feel something pressing under his nose and when he breathed through his nose the pain lessened and he could feel himself becoming more aware.

A voice drifted down to him, "Wakey wakey, sleeping beauty. We've got a lot of things to ask you."

"Sheppard…" he croaked. He felt a straw in his mouth and drank some of the water before he was able to open his eyes.

He blinked a few times and then scrunched up his face until his vision cleared and the blurry forms of the people sitting with him came into focus. John was holding the glass of water with the straw he had just drunk from. He looked angry and Rodney flinched back a little from the harsh glare. John put the glass down on the table a little harder than was necessary and Rodney shivered.

He had to look away from the stern expression in fear and saw that Teyla was on his other side with her expression clouded in worry. She shot John a warning look and then took Rodney's uninjured hand as she said, "We are _all_ very glad you came back to us, Rodney."

Ronon grunted in agreement, but John continued to stare at him with those furious eyes and Rodney said sadly, "Could have fooled me."

Teyla squeezed his hand and furrowed her brow, "We would like to know what happened to you though."

Ronon looked at John and raised his eyebrows, "And why you ignored the warnings, McKay."

"_Oh, so that was it,"_ Rodney thought. He now knew why John was looking angry and being so distant with him. He felt a creeping cold filling his traumatised mind and said quietly, "I didn't ignore any warnings. It just had the generic, 'Don't use this device,' Ancient text on it."

John narrowed his eyes and then spoke quietly, "Zelenka told us not to try and follow you or even power it up." His voice suddenly rose and he gestured with his hands in frustration, "You've got no idea…. How could you…?" It looked like he was at a loss for what to say and he ended, "Two weeks, McKay!"

Rodney shifted slightly as it felt like the mattress was swallowing him. Part of him wished it would and he would no longer have to endure the grief stricken faces of his team mates.

The heart monitor beeping quietly gave him away as the stress made the beeps more frequent. He drew his uninjured arm up and rested his broken fingers on his chest as Teyla continued to hold his other hand loosely.

He stammered, "Half the devices on Atlantis have the same warning! We have to test them all or we'd never find out what they did."

He grimaced and closed his eyes to hide from John's accusing and disbelieving look. He shuddered and groaned and then said, "It was just bad luck that that particular one took me to so many different versions of hell I didn't think I was going to survive them and ever get home again."

He opened his eyes again and glanced around at his team. Teyla was still looking sadly at him, but John's face had changed into one of shock.

Rodney said grimly, "Maybe I'm still not back. But, but at least none of you are trying to kill me, so I suppose that's a start."

Teyla held his hand more firmly and Ronon asked, "Hell?"

"Yes, different versions of Atlantis. The arch is like that drive we found on the Daedalus that sent us to other realities. Except every reality where I went I had died at some point in the past."

"Oh," John said. "Who hurt you though and why?"

He said offhand, "Lots of people and probably just because I happened to still be alive in the other realities."

Rodney did not feel like going into all the details as it felt like he needed to sleep for about a week. The wounds inflicted on him were still too painful for him to want to relive the trauma of how he had got them.

John suddenly sat up straight and leaned in towards Rodney. His face had lost most of the anger and he said, "The Wraith, the Replicators and the Genii? You mentioned them when we found you."

"Yes. Although the Wraith actually helped for once, before they did this." He ran his hand over his chest in the direction of the lacerations and grimaced.

His heart rate sped up again as the light touch and being forced to recall the memories made him tremble. He pulled his hand out of Teyla's grip and rested both of his arms against his chest as he closed his eyes in anguish.

A few seconds later a sweet female voice spoke above him, "Rodney, I'm giving you something to help ease the pain."

He looked up and saw a vision of beauty looking down at him and nodding. But her face had now become a threat to Rodney and he cried out in alarm, "Don't cut me! Please, Jennifer!"

"What?" She frowned and gripped his upper arm, "I'd never do that to you. What happened?"

John, Teyla and Ronon were looking puzzled as he turned his wide eyes to them and silently begged them for help. He could not speak though and his breathing became ragged.

She squeezed his arm and it looked like she understood as she said, "The cuts on your arm, leg and side were a lot cleaner than the ones on your chest."

He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side as he waited for her to stab him. Instead, her voice sounded a little indignant as she said, "Why are you behaving like this? I heard you talking to the others, in one of the realities am I… _different_ in some way?"

Rodney turned and looked up at her. She seemed sad, but continued to hold his arm as she waited for a reply.

"Yes, you could say that."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry for whatever it was that the other version of me did to you, but you're home and safe now."

Rodney felt his chest tightening at her clipped tone and he released a long sigh, "Yes, I'm sorry. I just… it still hurts and I don't want to be on the receiving end of any more scalpel work."

He had tried to make it sound offhand, like it was not really bothering him. Although it hurt him right to his heart and John's eyes widened in shock as Jennifer's grip around his arm tightened.

He winced and shivered, "I know it wasn't you. Sorry."

Jennifer loosened her hold on him as he turned away again and inhaled a sharp breath. She said, "We got the tracker out of your back with no problems. It was one of the earlier ones, like Ronon's, so it wasn't too tricky."

"A first edition, huh?" Rodney said tiredly.

She continued, "But you'd lost so much blood you nearly died. We gave you a transfusion and stitched up the lacerations. There was something else though… it took us a while to find out what it was."

"The cellular degradation." Rodney said softly. The painkillers he had been given must have been strong because he could only feel a ghostly trace of the agony he had been in before.

Jennifer frowned at him and then nodded, "Yes. We were close to putting you into stasis as we struggled to find a cure. But then you started to get better on your own."

John narrowed his eyes, "So the other realities were like poison to him? But being back here got rid of their harmful effects."

Jennifer shrugged, "We can only assume."

Rodney blinked slowly and asked, "So, how long until I'm out of here and can I have my laptop?"

Ronon chuckled, "At least we now know it's definitely our version of McKay who came back through the archway."

Jennifer rolled her eyes and then returned her concerned gaze to Rodney. "Well, you've already been in here for a week..."

Rodney's mind reeled and he gasped, "A _week_!"

"Yes, the blood loss combined with the cellular degradation impaired the function of many of your internal organs. We had to hook you up to all manner of things, Ancient and Earth equipment alike, just to keep you going."

John grimaced, "It wasn't a pretty sight."

Ronon mumbled, "Never is, even now."

Rodney gave Ronon a scathing glance that usually made everyone flee the room before him, but Ronon glared right back and smiled.

Teyla sighed and said, "I am sure that it will not be much longer before you are back on your feet, now that you are fully awake, Rodney."

Jennifer nodded, "Yes, a couple of days at most. You should start trying to eat again, now that your system is nearly functioning normally again."

"Okay, good," Rodney muttered tiredly.

Jennifer shooed his team out of the infirmary to let him get some uninterrupted rest and came back over to him. Rodney smiled at her and said, "Thanks. I'll answer all of their question eventually, but I'm not ready yet."

Jennifer rested her hand on his shoulder and said, "I know."

Rodney shifted on the bed slightly to ease the stiffness in his back from being still for so long. His free arm moved and he jolted and gasped as a sharp pain near the site of the IV line set his frayed nerve endings alight.

Jennifer pulled her hand away and said calmly, "Don't panic and don't move. I'll be back in a few seconds."

Rodney stayed as still as he could while tears of pain ran down his face and he valiantly fought not to twitch violently even as he shook gently.

Jennifer soon came back with one of the nurses and together they worked on Rodney's arm. After a moment, he had steeled himself sufficiently and looked down at what they were doing and what had happened.

His eyes widened in shock and realisation as he watched them working the IV line needle out of his arm very carefully where it had snapped. He said, "Oh no! I'm still not back am I? That's completely impossible!"

They ignored him in their concentration and soon had the sharp metal out of his vein. Jennifer dropped it into a tray and then pressed a pad down on the site of the new cut as blood ran across Rodney's arm.

She said, "Fairly unlikely, but not impossible. You're lucky I was with you when it happened or it could have been far more serious."

She kept up the pressure on the inside of his left elbow and said, "Oh and another thing; we found a small Ancient device inside your arm. I didn't remove it as it doesn't seem to be doing any harm. Radek had a look at it, but he's not sure what it is."

Rodney gritted his teeth as Jennifer lifted away the pad briefly and then pressed it down again.

He said, "I need a scanner. It tells me whether I'm back in the right reality. Judging by what just happened and the reaction of my team to me being back, I'd say not." His voice trailed away in misery at the end.

Jennifer picked up a roll of gauze from the tray next to her. She replaced the pad with a clean one and wrapped the bandaging around Rodney's arm.

"I'll see what I can do." She let go of his arm and moved away. "Try to get some rest."

He nodded and closed his eyes, but it took him a long time to fall sleep as his mind kept showing him visions of ceiling supports falling down and crushing him as he lay unconscious and unaware in the bed.

* * *

"_Was it enough?"_ Rodney thought for what felt like the millionth time since he had been released from the infirmary and sent to his quarters to rest.

It was the middle of the afternoon and he stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom soon after waking in only his boxer shorts. He kept his eyes averted from his reflection in horror and sadness as he asked the question again out loud, "Or _is_ it enough?"

Jennifer had brought him the scanner and placed it on the bedside table in the infirmary a couple of days ago after his request. He had then checked the implant in his arm. At first the numbers had appeared to be identical. He soon discovered the number itself was infinite as he scrolled sideways for about five minutes and it just kept going and going as it never ended.

He had seen a single different number after the first minute. An anomaly in the chain and it chilled his heart until he had passed out again. Maybe there had been a moment at some time in the past when he had turned left instead of right, but the outcome had been the same.

This reality had its reservations about him as well. The IV line snapping was the only thing so far as he now realised his team's reactions had been justified.

John was angry with _himself_ rather than Rodney. He had apologised and explained the next day when he had visited Rodney alone. He said that he felt guilty that he had let the scientist go and had not even tried to get him back. That had then meant that Rodney had suffered a great deal of pain and nearly died without him being able to do anything about it.

"Is it enough that it's not quite the same?" Rodney looked up and furrowed his brow when a pair of terrified blue eyes gazed back at him from the mirror. Obviously this reality thought so, as the cellular degradation had stopped and his body had not been so badly damaged that it could not heal from the effects.

It was no longer affecting him physically and he would never put himself through another ordeal to locate an exact match to the last digit of infinity. It was enough. It would have to be; it was too late for him to change his mind now anyway.

Zelenka told him that the archway had mysteriously vanished when he had gone down to take some more readings a few days ago. Rodney was glad that no-one would ever get caught by it again and that Telan had finally succeeded in destroying the archway which had in turn affected it in every reality.

His eyes drifted down to the pale form reflected back at him in the mirror and settled on his chest. His breath hitched when he saw the jagged marks left by the merciless claws of the Wraith Queen as she had torn his flesh. The wounds were nearly healed, but the scars left behind would be very ugly. They served as a permanent reminder to him of the shock he had felt when he had seen the culled version of Earth and the Wraith infested Atlantis.

His skin was as white as the bandages still holding the splints in place around his broken fingers. The angry red marks stood out starkly in the harsh glare of the bathroom lights, throwing them into contrast and only serving to sharply intensify his sorrow.

He hated the fact that his actions had caused so much misery in the realities where he had died and not been able to undo his mistakes. Many of the deaths had been directly caused by his actions. It was difficult for him to stay upright and not howl in despair whenever he saw the evidence of his ordeal sliced into his skin like a tattoo.

Jennifer had not been to see him yet that day. When she had been before, she had seemed distant and businesslike. Almost as though he was just a random stranger who had happened to end up under her care after a nasty accident.

He had desperately tried to distract himself from his miserable loneliness by one finger typing on his computer, but he found that he could not concentrate. The cut on his forearm soon hurt so much he could no longer continue anyway.

He would understand if Jennifer did not want to stay with him any more. He did not blame her. How could she continue to love him with such terrible marks across his skin? They horrified him to look at and they were now a part of him, so he did not want her to have to see them either.

It was more than he could stand just to look at himself in the mirror. All he wanted to do was shield Jennifer from suffering the brunt of the fallout from his pain and sadness.

He turned around and saw the mark on his back from the Wraith tracker. It was just as bad, but not something he could see without a mirror. He then looked at the cuts on his side and inner leg. They were smaller, but more painful as the sharp scalpel had stabbed far deeper than the other slashes. His arm was also horrendous, but Jennifer had assured him that the cut was clean and the mark it left behind would fade over time.

He frowned, first in anger over how helpless he had been to defend himself against the injuries and then in soul deep sadness about how he had been left with such scars from the trauma of being attacked. He knew that every time he had to look at his reflection he would be reminded of the pain and fear over what had happened to him.

He furrowed his brow and saw the barely visible knot in the skin over his side from the bullet hole from when the hallucinating Sheppard had tried to kill him, "At least in _this_ reality he failed."

The marks on his chest pained him the most though. He ran his hand over them and blinked as his vision blurred. He stammered, "How could she ever love me now?"

He looked down at the ground so that he no longer had to look at the man in the mirror and sighed. The sadness did not diminish like he had hoped, but seemed to get more intense with every heartbeat.

He was so utterly lost in his own dark thoughts that he did not hear the door chime or anyone coming in until they spoke.

"House call!"

Rodney looked up and swiftly covered his chest with his arms in panic as he looked in the mirror and saw Jennifer standing behind him, "But you're not due for a few more hours."

She smiled and shrugged, "I know." She then moved around next to him and looked at his face. Rodney kept staring into the mirror and could not bring himself to meet her eyes. She rested a hand on his back and said, "Actually, I'm off duty."

He flinched and Jennifer asked, "Are you in pain?"

Rodney looked down and mumbled, "Uh, yes."

He felt her take hold of his upper arm and she said, "I can go and get you something for it. Just hold tight."

Rodney said, "Whatever pills and drugs you've got, they can't help me." It was not something he could physically feel or quantify. Unless they could numb the pain caused by the memories in his mind, but only a sedative could do that. His heart pounded and ached inside him to almost the point of physical pain, but not quite.

Rodney sighed in frustration and quickly moved away from her and into his quarters. He pulled out a clean shirt and tried to tug it over his head, but Jennifer had followed and she grabbed his wrist to stop him.

Rodney gritted his teeth and cried, "No!" in shame as Jennifer saw the marks on his chest. "Please, I don't want you to have to look at me like this."

She let go of his wrist and said, "I've already seen it and I'm sorry for what the Wraith and my alternate self did to you, but you don't have to cover it, I don't mind."

Rodney pulled the shirt over his head and sighed in relief as he smoothed it out over the unsightly ripped skin on his chest and hid himself from her eyes.

She took his undamaged hand and led him over to the chair by his desk and then pulled up another chair and sat opposite him. She brought her other hand forward and held his tightly in both of hers as they sat there.

She said quietly, "We need to talk about this."

Rodney pulled his hand away and snapped, "What are you a shrink now?!"

Jennifer sat back and looked like she had been stung. She shook her head and said, "No."

Rodney was instantly sorry, but he could not bring himself to talk to her. It was his pain to deal with. Everyone else had enough of their own to be getting on with and he did not want to see the look of pity in her eyes he knew he would receive if he opened up and told her everything that had happened.

Normally he would have asked John to help him or have waited until John noticed how much pain he was in and then came over to offer his help. Rodney was too proud to ever actually admit it when he was really in trouble, but for some reason, John always knew exactly what to do and how to make him feel better.

Jennifer trying to help him was a new thing though and he did not know what to say to her. He just looked down at his shaking hands and then at the floor as he mumbled, "It's just… you deserve more."

She kept quiet and made a grab for his hand again, but he pulled it away. When their eyes met, he saw that she was looking at him sadly and almost willing him to speak and let out whatever it was that was troubling him.

Jennifer suddenly stood up and offered her hand to him, "Come with me."

Rodney looked up and asked, "Where?"

She shook her hand at him impatiently, "Come on!"

He was curious so he reached out and let her pull him upright. She guided him across the room and back into the bathroom. She positioned him in front of the mirror and Rodney turned away in fright, "No. I don't want you to have to see it."

Jennifer raised her eyebrows, "I've _already_ seen it, Rodney! I was the one who cleaned and stitched all of your injuries."

"Oh, yes," he said lamely. "Then you already know how ugly I am, so why are you really here?"

Jennifer pursed her lips and said very flatly, "You are _not_ ugly."

"But the marks and scars and the horrible claws." He trembled and grimaced.

Jennifer shrugged as she watched him in the mirror from where she was standing behind him, "I don't see anything different."

Rodney looked up at her and patted his chest lightly as he said, "That's because they're covered."

"Even when they're not, I still don't see any difference."

Rodney frowned in confusion. He felt anger building inside him and he pulled the shirt over his head, flung it on the floor in rage and gestured at his bare chest. He shouted, "What, are you blind or something?"

Jennifer gazed at him neutrally and said calmly, "No. Not at all. I just see you. But I don't think it's only the visible scars that are troubling you, is it?"

Rodney's mouth turned down in misery as his breathing evened out and he admitted, "No."

He could not bring himself to elaborate. What he had been through was too recent and the images and fear were vividly etched into his memory like he was still there.

Jennifer suddenly drew her arms around his midsection and pulled him back into a hug. She kissed his shoulder and Rodney furrowed his brow as he watched her in the mirror.

She looked up and kept her eyes locked with his as she moved her arms up and hugged him around his ribcage. Rodney twitched and felt uncomfortable at her touch being so close to the cuts on his chest, but her face did not alter in disgust or revulsion and he felt himself calming as relief went through him.

She said, "There. You see. No difference."

He raised his eyebrows and said, "No, I suppose not."

He knew that if he could live with the physical scars that the mental ones would also become bearable. She was helping him in a way that John never could.

He turned around, moved his arms around her and hugged her back. He drew her in close to his chest and she smiled as he whispered, "Thank you," in her ear.

As Jennifer continued to hold him, Rodney suddenly knew that, given time, he was going to be okay and that somehow they would still be alright together.

* * *

**_The End!_**

_A/N – Thank you for your continued support and kind reviews throughout this story! I couldn't have done it without you :)_

_What's next from __**x Varda x**__'s fic producing brain? Hmm, I'm going to have some time off to catch up with some one-shots (and sleep) and then… maybe… I'll write a few more long ones. Stay tuned!_


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